Elias Read online

  back in the real world. Back in Hollywood. Not that Hollywood was anything like the real world; I wasn't delusional enough to think that. But it was my reality.

  I just didn't know if I wanted it to be my future.

  When I returned to the bed and breakfast, Cade and June were on the front porch, and June had a picnic basket in her hand. She held it up when I got out of the car.

  "We were just making some lunch," she said. "So I figured I'd bring you some stuff over, drop if off in case you were hungry and didn't feel like cooking. Cade makes a mean chicken salad."

  Cade was standing beside her, a half-eaten sandwich in his hand. "Secret ingredient is curry," he said. "June's been eating it by the truckload since she got pregnant."

  "The kid is going to hate chicken salad," June said.

  "Well, with an endorsement like that, how could I not try it?" I opened the front door. "Is there enough in there for all of us? Would you stay and have lunch with me?"

  "Sure," June said. Then, to Stan, "Baby, come this way." He was picking the petals off flowers in a pot near the door. "Don't eat those."

  Inside, June set out plates and Cade sat with Stan on his lap.

  "It's good," I said as I bit into my sandwich. "Really good."

  Cade smiled.

  "He's a great cook," June said. "Does better than me with a lot of it. The muffins this morning? His recipe."

  "You're like a jack of all trades," I said. "You keep up with the horses and everything here too?"

  Cade nodded. "Part of running a ranch," he said. "Got a couple ranch hands helping out now that I'm at the shop more, though."

  "I saw your shop today when I was getting a car," I said. "Closed for lunch- obviously you were here."

  We ate for a few minutes in silence, but it wasn't the kind of awkward silence I usually felt around people. June and Cade were easy to be around.

  Then I asked the question that had been on my mind since I'd left town. "Do you know anything about the Saint brothers?"

  It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. "Where did you hear that name?" June asked.

  "Elias Saint." I blurted out the words before I could think about stopping myself. "He's the guy who was with me here."

  A dark look crossed Cade's face and looked at June meaningfully. "You known him long?" he asked.

  "Not really," I admitted. "He helped me out of a jam." I didn't elaborate, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the fact that I'd brought it up, since both of them clearly knew his name.

  "He's not someone you should be spending time with," Cade said, his tone gruff.

  "Cade, you don't know that," June said, her voice stern. She gave him a look.

  "A leopard doesn't change his spots," Cade said.

  "It's not fair," June said, "Him paying for his brother's sins. He was a kid then."

  Cade grunted, and stepped away from the table, kissing his wife on the top of his head before he started for the door. "Need to get back to the shop," he said, passing Stan to her

  "Bye-bye," Stan babbled.

  Cade kissed the top of his head. "Bye-bye, baby," he said. Then he looked up at June and I. "That family's no good, the whole lot of them."

  After Cade left, June turned to me. "Don't mind him," she said. "He's not closed-minded in a lot of ways, but when it comes to me, he is."

  "I don't understand," I said. I didn't know what Elias or his family had done, but this town seemed to be focused on it.

  "What he said isn't right," June said. "About his family. They're not all bad. The father - Abraham Saint - was a piece of work, as I remember, drunk a lot. Think he used to beat up on the kids. But he's dead now - just died, a week ago? Maybe two weeks? I can't keep up with things lately."

  A week or two.

  It had to be why Elias was coming back here. He hadn't said anything.

  But then, why should he, to some casual fling?

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “So they’re all bad seeds because of Elias’ father?” I might have grown up in a small town, and understood how petty and mean life in a small town could be, but this seemed extreme, even to me.

  June shook her head. She sat Stan down on the ground, then got up and opened a cabinet, dragging out some toys and setting them in the middle of the floor. “I don’t think Elias is a bad seed, honey,” she said. “He seemed like a nice guy. Seems to like you a whole lot, too.”

  I don’t know about the liking me a whole lot part, I thought.

  “Then what is it?” I asked. “What’s the thing Cade was talking about?”

  “Cade’s just overprotective sometimes, is all,” she said. “Everything that happened was a long time ago, back when I was in high school. You’re what, early twenties?” She didn’t wait for my answer, just continued. “So Elias is about your age. He’d only have been a toddler when it happened, I’d imagine. I didn’t know the Saints back then. There was an older brother - Mason - older than me by a few years, worked as a ranch hand for Cade’s dad.”

  I listened attentively, all the time thinking how insular this town was, that everyone was connected in some way. I guess that could be comforting or frightening, depending on how you grew up in it. I felt a momentary pang of empathy for Elias.

  “Mason and my sister had a thing going,” June said. “Even though he was a few years older. Everyone says he was a bad influence on her, and that might well have been some of it, but my sister was a wild child back then too. They were out at a party, Mason and my sister, and that’s when it happened.”

  “What happened?”

  “Mason and her drove back from the party,” June said. “He was drunk. My parents were out looking for my sister. There was an accident, head on collision, and my parents were killed. Mason, too. My sister committed suicide after that, couldn’t bear to live with the guilt.”

  My hand flew to my mouth. “Oh my God, June,” I said, “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine.”

  “Thank you for that,” she said. “But it was a long time ago. A lifetime. A lot of people carried around a lot of guilt for what happened, even though there was nothing they could have done about it, Cade included. There’s no use for it, either, all that guilt.”

  “Is that what Cade was referring to, about the Saint family?”

  “Yes,” June said. “I left right after it happened, but I’d heard the family took a lot of heat for it. The father didn’t have a good reputation to begin with, but after that, I’m not sure. I’d imagine it wasn’t easy for them here.”

  I could imagine what Elias went through in this small town, being from a family like the one he was from. Golden Willow, Georgia wasn’t exactly like West Bend, not so small you’d know everyone and everything going on, but it was the kind of place where my mother’s reputation followed us. It didn’t help that we attracted attention - looks of disgust or pity, depending on who saw my sister and I- walking around in bare feet and tattered secondhand clothing.

  If there’s one thing in life I understood, it was being a pariah.

  I also understood the fact that the feeling of being an outside never leaves you. It’s etched on your soul, into the very core of who you are. No matter how many fans I had or how much money I made, it was always there.

  I wondered if Elias felt the same way.

  Then I told myself it didn't matter. I didn't need to know Elias' story. He might have all kinds of reasons for being how he was, and I might have all kinds of chemistry with him, but that didn't matter. I was here for a few days, biding my time...and Elias was more trouble than I needed, with the kinds of wounds that didn't just disappear.

  I already had enough complications in my life. I didn't need any more.

  “Mom?” I called. I stood in the doorway for a moment, not wanting to even walk inside, almost as if I stayed right here, I wouldn’t be sucked into whatever drama was going on. As much as I’d come home because I was lost, I knew I didn’t want to be rooted here permanently. I didn’t want to be taking