Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Puffin Modern Classics relaunch) Read online

  We’ve polished off her parents, too).

  Down goes Veruca! Down the drain!

  And here, perhaps, we should explain

  That she will meet, as she descends,

  A rather different set of friends

  To those that she has left behind –

  These won’t be nearly so refined.

  A fish head, for example, cut

  This morning from a halibut.

  “Hello! Good morning! How d’you do?

  How nice to meet you! How are you?”

  And then a little further down

  A mass of others gather round:

  A bacon rind, some rancid lard,

  A loaf of bread gone stale and hard,

  A steak that nobody could chew,

  An oyster from an oyster stew,

  Some liverwurst so old and grey

  One smelled it from a mile away,

  A rotten nut, a reeky pear,

  A thing the cat left on the stair,

  And lots of other things as well,

  Each with a rather horrid smell.

  These are Veruca’s new-foundfriends

  That she will meet as she descends,

  And this is the price she has to pay

  For going so very far astray.

  But now, my dears, we think you might

  Be wondering – is it really right

  That every single bit of blame

  And all the scolding and the shame

  Should fall upon Veruca Salt?

  Is she the only one at fault?

  For though she’s spoiled, and dreadfully so,

  A girl can’t spoil herself,you know.

  Who spoiled her, then? Ah, who indeed?

  Who pandered to her every need?

  Who turned her into such a brat?

  Who are the culprits? Who did that?

  Alas! You needn’t look so far

  To find out who these sinners are.

  They are (and this is very sad)

  Her loving parents, MUM and DAD.

  And that is why we’re glad they fell

  Into the rubbish chute as well.’

  25

  The Great Glass Lift

  ‘I’ve never seen anything like it!’ cried Mr Wonka. ‘The children are disappearing like rabbits! But you mustn’t worry about it! They’ll all come out in the wash!’

  Mr Wonka looked at the little group that stood beside him in the corridor. There were only two children left now – Mike Teavee and Charlie Bucket. And there were three grown-ups, Mr and Mrs Teavee and Grandpa Joe. ‘Shall we move on?’ Mr Wonka asked.

  ‘Oh, yes!’ cried Charlie and Grandpa Joe, both together.

  ‘My feet are getting tired,’ said Mike Teavee. ‘I want to watch television.’

  ‘If you’re tired then we’d better take the lift,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘It’s over here. Come on! In we go!’ He skipped across the passage to a pair of double doors. The doors slid open. The two children and the grown-ups went in.

  ‘Now then,’ cried Mr Wonka, ‘which button shall we press first? Take your pick!’

  Charlie Bucket stared around him in astonishment. This was the craziest lift he had ever seen. There were buttons everywhere! The walls, and even the ceiling, were covered all over with rows and rows and rows of small, black push buttons! There must have been a thousand of them on each wall, and another thousand on the ceiling! And now Charlie noticed that every single button had a tiny printed label beside it telling you which room you would be taken to if you pressed it.

  ‘This isn’t just an ordinary up-and-down lift!’ announced Mr Wonka proudly. ‘This lift can go sideways and longways and slantways and any other way you can think of! It can visit any single room in the whole factory, no matter where it is! You simply press the button… and zing!… you’re off!’

  ‘Fantastic!’ murmured Grandpa Joe. His eyes were shining with excitement as he stared at the rows of buttons.

  ‘The whole lift is made of thick, clear glass!’ Mr Wonka declared. ‘Walls, doors, ceiling, floor, everything is made of glass so that you can see out!’

  ‘But there’s nothing to see,’ said Mike Teavee.

  ‘Choose a button!’ said Mr Wonka. ‘The two children may press one button each. So take your pick! Hurry up! In every room, something delicious and wonderful is being made.’

  Quickly, Charlie started reading some of the labels alongside the buttons.

  THE ROCK-CANDY MINE – 10,000 FEET DEEP, it said on one.

  COKERNUT-ICE SKATING RINKS, it said on another.

  Then… STRAWBERRY-JUICE WATER PISTOLS.

  TOFFEE-APPLE TREES FOR PLANTING OUT IN YOUR GARDEN – ALL SIZES.

  EXPLODING SWEETS FOR YOUR ENEMIES.

  LUMINOUS LOLLIES FOR EATING IN BED AT NIGHT.

  MINT JUJUBES FOR THE BOY NEXT DOOR – THEY’LL GIVE HIM GREEN TEETH FOR A MONTH.

  CAVITY-FILLING CARAMELS – NO MORE DENTISTS.

  STICKJAW FOR TALKATIVE PARENTS.

  WRIGGLE-SWEETS THAT WRIGGLE DELIGHTFULLY IN YOUR TUMMY AFTER SWALLOWING.

  INVISIBLE CHOCOLATE BARS FOR EATING IN CLASS.

  SUGAR-COATED PENCILS FOR SUCKING.

  FIZZY LEMONADE SWIMMING POOLS.

  MAGIC HAND-FUDGE – WHEN YOU HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND, YOU TASTE IT IN YOUR MOUTH.

  RAINBOW DROPS – SUCK THEM AND YOU CAN SPIT IN SIX DIFFERENT COLOURS.

  ‘Come on, come on!’ cried Mr Wonka. ‘We can’t wait all day!’

  ‘Isn’t there a Television Room in all this lot?’ asked Mike Teavee.

  ‘Certainly there’s a television room,’ Mr Wonka said. ‘That button over there.’ He pointed with his finger. Everybody looked. TELEVISION CHOCOLATE, it said on the tiny label beside the button.

  ‘Whoopee!’ shouted Mike Teavee. ‘That’s for me!’ He stuck out his thumb and pressed the button. Instantly, there was a tremendous whizzing noise. The doors clanged shut and the lift leaped away as though it had been stung by a wasp. But it leapt sideways! And all the passengers (except Mr Wonka, who was holding on to a strap from the ceiling) were flung off their feet on to the floor.

  ‘Get up, get up!’ cried Mr Wonka, roaring with laughter. But just as they were staggering to their feet, the lift changed direction and swerved violently round a corner. And over they went once more.

  ‘Help!’ shouted Mrs Teavee.

  ‘Take my hand, madam,’ said Mr Wonka gallantly. ‘There you are! Now grab this strap! Everybody grab a strap. The journey’s not over yet!’

  Old Grandpa Joe staggered to his feet and caught hold of a strap. Little Charlie, who couldn’t possibly reach as high as that, put his arms around Grandpa Joe’s legs and hung on tight.

  The lift rushed on at the speed of a rocket. Now it was beginning to climb. It was shooting up and up and up on a steep slanty course as if it were climbing a very steep hill. Then suddenly, as though it had come to the top of the hill and gone over a precipice, it dropped like a stone and Charlie felt his tummy coming right up into his throat, and

  Grandpa Joe shouted, ‘Yippee! Here we go!’ and Mrs Teavee cried out, ‘The rope has broken! We’re going to crash!’ And Mr Wonka said, ‘Calm yourself, my dear lady,’ and patted her comfortingly on the arm. And then Grandpa Joe looked down at Charlie who was clinging to his legs, and he said, ‘Are you all right, Charlie?’ Charlie shouted, ‘I love it! It’s like being on a roller coaster!’ And through the glass walls of the lift, as it rushed along, they caught sudden glimpses of strange and wonderful things going on in some of the other rooms:

  An enormous spout with brown sticky stuff oozing out of it on to the floor…

  A great, craggy mountain made entirely of fudge, with Oompa-Loompas (all roped together for safety) hacking huge hunks of fudge out of its sides…

  A machine with white powder spraying out of it like a snowstorm…

  A lake of hot caramel with steam coming off it…

  A village of Oompa-Loompas, with tiny houses and streets and