The Knight Read online

  How little I matter to him. “You’re leaving?”

  His jaw locked. “I’ve been called away.”

  “You said… you promised to come find me.”

  “I know what I said, but it will have to wait.” She flinched at the sharpness—the impatience—in his voice. She’d never felt as if she’d overstepped her bounds with him, but she did now. He didn’t want her here. She didn’t belong here. She was embarrassing him.

  “You shouldn’t have come here, Jo. I will see you when I return.”

  She shook her head and clutched his arm imploringly. She knew he was right, but panic welled up inside her. He couldn’t leave. She had to tell him. “No. Please. It is important.”

  Vaguely Joanna was aware of the men around them who were pretending not to listen, but she paid them no heed as she awaited his reply. Somehow it felt that if she let him walk away now, it would be too late.

  CHAPTER SIX

  James was very conscious of the curious gazes upon them. What in Hades was she doing here? When he’d first come down the stairs and seen Jo with Raider, he had been so relieved, so happy to see her that he’d almost done something foolish and run to her, before he remembered that he was angry with her. Anger that only grew when he realized why she was here.

  Obviously, she’d heard about the castle and assumed the worst. Her lack of faith in him stung. Joanna always believed in him. Sometimes even more than he deserved. Sometimes even more than he believed in himself. He counted on that belief.

  She shouldn’t be here like this, upbraiding him before his men and making a scene. He should make that clear. But even angered and embarrassed, he couldn’t hurt her like that, even if it was deserved.

  Ignoring the questioning stares of his men, he took her by the arm and pulled her toward the keep. After leading her up the stairs, he glanced in the hall and, seeing that it was still occupied by his mother, sister, and Randolph, he led her toward the stairwell that led to the upper floors. There wasn’t much room in the small landing area, and they could be seen by anyone watching from the Hall, but at least they were unlikely to be overheard.

  He crossed his arms so he wouldn’t be tempted to wrap them around her and schooled his features into a blank mask. “What is it, Jo? What is so important that you must come here like this and drag me away from my men?”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Randolph take his leave from James’s mother and then his sister. He frowned, seeing the girlish blush that rose to Beth’s cheeks when Randolph took her hand and gave her a gallant bow.

  “I heard that you’d taken the castle and—”

  His gaze shifted back to Jo. “And you were worried that I’d broken my promise,” he finished for her. It was as he thought.

  She nodded. “I saw the tower. How could you do that, James? How could you burn down your own home like that?”

  He was so used to her understanding, it was strange when she didn’t. If she didn’t know how hard it had been on him, she didn’t know him at all. “I had no choice. You should know that. It’s the only way if we are to win this war.”

  “But all those men.”

  “I kept my promise to you, Jo, though I should never have given it. The garrison is on their way back to England right now.”

  Her eyes widened. “They are?”

  He nodded.

  “Oh.”

  He held her stare as she nibbled anxiously on her thumb. Normally he’d be tempted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her, but he was too angry—and conscious of the interested stare of Randolph, who’d unfortunately noticed them as he’d started to walk toward the entry stairs.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have trusted you.”

  The fact that she hadn’t stung. He’d always taken her trust in him for granted. “I have to go, Jo. We’ll speak of this later.”

  “You were going to leave without saying good-bye?”

  “There wasn’t time. I won’t be long.”

  “But I told you there was something I needed to tell you. If it were just me… but it’s not.” She drew a deep breath and looked at him with something akin to desperation in her gaze. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I was surprised, that’s all. I thought we both wanted the same thing. I shouldn’t have given you an ultimatum.”

  Thank God! Relief poured through him. He didn’t realize how much the situation with Jo had been weighing on him until it was gone. He felt like a boulder had been lifted off his chest.

  A smile cracked to the surface. The need to touch her was so overwhelming, he barely remembered to pull her deeper into the stairwell—away from curious eyes—before his mouth fell on hers. Although he’d meant it to be a gentle, tender kiss, to show her exactly how much she meant to him, as always seemed to happen the moment their lips touched, something came over him. Something hot and powerful and demanding. A need so intense, he drew back before he found himself swiving her in the stairwell.

  Despite the brevity of the kiss, his breathing was still heavy. “I’m so glad you reconsidered.” He drew the back of his finger along her cheek softly. “I promise I will do everything in my power to make you happy.”

  Instantly, the haze of the kiss cleared from her eyes. She drew back. “No, James, you misunderstand. I have not reconsidered. Under no circumstances will I be your leman.”

  Anger surged through him again, the sharp disappointment on the heels of relief almost making it worse. Why the hell was she being so stubborn? She was supposed to love him, damn it. Not issue ultimatums and make threats. “So I either marry you or it’s over, is that it?”

  She bit her lip, hands twisting nervously in her skirts. “Yes, but you should know—”

  He didn’t let her finish. He was too damned furious. She wasn’t the only one who could make threats. “Very well, if that’s what you want, consider it over.”

  Her eyes widened in shock. She looked like he’d kicked her in the gut. He had to force himself not to reach for her. But he wouldn’t let her use the feelings he had for her against him. He had to stay strong to his purpose.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “It’s the last thing I want. It’s you who are doing this, Jo. This is your choice, remember that.”

  And before he could take the words back, he spun on his heel and left her standing there.

  His chest was on fire. Every instinct clamored to go back—to tell her he didn’t mean it—but he forced his feet forward. She had to learn that she couldn’t threaten and manipulate him into doing her bidding. He loved her, but he couldn’t marry her. She needed to accept that—and what it meant. This was what it would be like. But he felt like he was on the rack and having his limbs slowly torn from his body. If it was hurting her half as much as it was hurting him, she would be ready to jump into his arms when he returned in a few days. It wouldn’t be long. Just long enough for her to realize he meant what he said.

  But he felt a vague uneasiness start to grow. He looked back, and his heart lurched. She looked destroyed—and oddly desperate. She’d wanted to tell him something, he remembered. The vague uneasiness turned to full-fledged trepidation. Something was wrong. He couldn’t leave her like this.

  He would have gone back to her, but Randolph stopped him. Randolph, who reminded him of everything he was fighting for. Greatness. Restoration of the family honor. His father.

  “Who was that woman?” he asked.

  “No one,” James said.

  “She sure looked like someone.” Randolph gave him a shrewd look. “Have a care, Douglas. My uncle has big plans for you.”

  James’s mouth hardened. He didn’t need Randolph to warn him. “She’s only the marshal’s daughter. A lass I’ve known since I was a child. It’s nothing.”

  The words tasted like acid in his mouth. His stomach churned uneasily and he felt like some kind of Peter. He needed to get the hell out of there.

  No one. Nothing.

  Joanna slumped against the wall of the stairwell in stunn