Highlander Unmasked Read online

  “You’ll leave at sunset with your father’s men. And not return. No matter what, Meg. Do you understand?”

  She nodded. “And Jamie?”

  “He’ll leave with you, under guard until he is returned to your father. I’ll write a missive to your father asking him to hold Jamie at Dunakin for a few days. It should all be over by then.”

  “And then what?” she asked, her eyes still focused on the ground.

  He nearly smiled at the ability she had to cut to the quick. A myriad of questions wrapped up succinctly in one small, innocuous package.

  “I don’t know.”

  So much between them left unsaid. But he was glad she knew the truth. It made everything more complicated, but perhaps it was already. He couldn’t prevent her heartbreak whether he’d driven her to another man or he never returned from Lewis. At least this way she would not doubt herself. Unknowingly, his poisoned arrow had struck too well. He wished he could take back everything he’d said to Lord Huntly. He’d meant to strike at her duty, not at an old wound.

  He watched as she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin, meeting his gaze. The soft glow of the moon cast deep shadows off the curve of her cheek. He knew what she was going to say and wanted to stop her. He opened his mouth, but it was too late.

  “I love you, you know,” she said softly.

  There it was. Words that would be better left unsaid.

  His heart clenched. He couldn’t breathe. A thousand thoughts rushed through his head, thoughts of a future, thoughts of a family, dreams of happiness. There were no more lies left between them to camouflage the truth. With the secrets stripped away, the truth and all of its consequences lay bare before them. She loved him. But he wasn’t ready to hear those words, not while he still had a job to do. Not until he’d laid the ghosts of his past to rest.

  Overcome with emotion, he could manage only one word in response: “Don’t.” He pressed his fingers against her trembling mouth.

  Her face crumpled.

  He had to make her understand. “Not yet.” He clasped her hands and pulled her up so that she stood before him. So lovely, so infinitely precious. Tenderly, he stroked the side of her face. “You deserve more than I can offer right now.” His voice was laden with regret.

  “How can you say that? I know you care for me. You cannot convince me that you don’t.”

  He smiled crookedly, shaking his head at her unwavering determination. “I won’t try. But right now, Meg, it’s not enough. Your coming to Lewis only makes me realize how important it is that I finish what I’ve begun here.”

  “Even though you might die? If not at the hands of the Adventurers, then by Dougal?”

  “Yes. If need be.”

  “But—”

  “I promise I’ll not go willingly. But”—he paused—“that is all I can promise right now.”

  “But why!” she cried, railing more at the injustice of the world than at him, he suspected. Her eyes sparkled with anger. “Why sacrifice your future for your past? You have nothing to prove to me or anyone else.” She wanted to understand. “Tell me what happened to your cousins.”

  “There’s not much to tell. You know most of it.”

  “But I want to hear it from you.”

  He felt the familiar resistance that occurred whenever this subject was mentioned. “Why?”

  “I want to understand.”

  “Very well.” He averted his gaze. “I was in charge. We had the advantage of surprise. I lost it.”

  “And your cousins?”

  “They didn’t have to die. I refused to surrender. My damned youthful pride cost them their lives.” His voice grew tight. “I see that moment in my head over and over. If I could go back and decide differently…”

  “Did you know what Dougal had planned?”

  “No,” he shot back. “Of course not.”

  “Then how can you blame yourself? You made the best decision you could under the circumstances. I know I was wrong to come here. Jamie warned me that you would not appreciate my interference. But it’s not because I don’t believe in you, Alex. There was no one else I could trust with such an important message.”

  “You were wrong to come, Meg. I know you only thought to help, but it’s too dangerous for you here. It’s too dangerous for me with you here.”

  He couldn’t concentrate on anything with her so close. He was filled with such longing, to take her in his arms and cherish her love, cherish her body. Not focusing on the task at hand could be a deadly mistake. Her very presence on Lewis crippled him, putting him at grave risk.

  The starlight seemed to catch the soft highlights in her hair. Unconsciously, he slid his hand over the smooth waves, weaving through their depths. Her very softness unleashed his desire. His body burned. He wanted to bury his face in her hair, rip off her clothes, and taste every inch of that soft skin. He wanted to make her tremble and come apart in his arms. If she didn’t leave soon, he might forget the danger and give in to temptation. His voice turned hoarse with longing. “I can’t think when you are near.”

  “Then don’t,” she whispered in the soft, seductive voice of an enchantress.

  Her body sought his, her softness melting into his heat, teasing him with pleasure so acute that he began to shake. Despite the cool evening, sweat gathered on his brow. Blood coursed through his veins, and his erection throbbed unmercifully. Salvation waited only a hair-breadth away.

  He stepped back, snapping the invisible pull. “I must. People are depending on me, Meg. Would you truly have me leave? Walk away from my kin when they are depending on me? What kind of leader would I make for your clan?”

  She looked at him blankly, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the truth.

  He sank the knife of truth deeper. “Could you walk away from your clan, from your responsibilities? Would you have me do what you would not?” She looked as though she wanted to argue; the stubborn lass did not easily concede defeat. “This is what I do, Meg. I fight. What the king is doing on Lewis is wrong, and I cannot stand by and watch my kin be murdered without doing something.” The call was just as much a part of him as Meg. He could not deny either. “I must do my duty to my clan, just as you must do yours,” he said.

  Her face collapsed when she understood his meaning. “But I can’t marry Jamie.” Tears glistened in her eyes.

  And Alex was relieved that she would not. He still couldn’t believe she’d refused Campbell. Shocked, but enormously pleased.

  “Of course you can’t,” he said gently. “Not right now.” His fingers traced the contours of her mouth. “But you will marry if you must.”

  If I die. The words were left unspoken, but he knew she understood.

  “Get some rest, there aren’t many hours left before dawn.” He whistled, and immediately a few of his men materialized out of the shadows. He urged her to go, watching as she faded into the darkness. Darkness that matched the deep abyss of regret in his chest.

  Chapter 22

  Bittersweet remembrance. Was that what awaited her for the rest of her life? Would Alex die and leave her with fleeting memories of a love that had barely been given the chance to spread its wings and soar?

  Frustration tinged with resentment mounted inside her. The worst part was that she knew he was right. Alex couldn’t leave Lewis, just as she couldn’t leave her clan without a leader to help her brother for the future.

  There was no other choice: Alex had to help his kin defend against the incursion of the Fife Adventurers. Nobility. Strength. Pride. None of those attributes would keep her warm at night. But Meg also realized that she would not love the man who was without them.

  Not that it would make leaving him any easier.

  Not when she knew now that he loved her. He might not have said as much, but she knew deep in her heart that he did. He wouldn’t say so, couldn’t say so. Not until he was free. Not when he might not survive. She understood that now, understood why he’d tried to push her away. But understanding