The Unthinkable Read online

  The night that began with a bang of promise, then fizzled to an abrupt end with the slow break of dawn. Though she had achieved her objective this night—her debut into society had been a resounding success—Genie couldn’t help but feel that her appearance at the prince’s fete had opened a Pandora’s box.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The Duke of Huntingdon hunched over his desk and swirled the viscous amber liquid in the cut crystal glass before draining the contents in one deep gulp. Another followed. And another. Soon he lost count. The sun had risen hours ago, at last putting an end to a night that he wanted to forget. Closeted in his private study, heavy velvet curtains closed to block the offending light, the memories of all that had transpired stuck. Not even inebriation could dull the lingering emotion still smoldering in his chest, kindled by disappointment and betrayal.

  Sweet, innocent Genie had betrayed him as surely as Hawk. That it was undoubtedly deserved did not lessen the pain. Nor make him feel less of a fool.

  He’d romanticized a youthful liaison, relegating it to such enormous proportions, he was bound to be disappointed by reality. He just never expected the truth to be so painful. Had he honestly meant that little to her?

  After so many years shouldering the blame for the disastrous end to their affair, it felt strangely traitorous to contemplate ulterior motives on her behalf. Could she have had a different purpose all along? Could she have entered into a love affair with him knowing that his family would buy her off rather than see him marry so far beneath them? He couldn’t believe it of her. It didn’t fit with his memory of the sweet, naïve country girl.

  But it did seem more in line with the cool beauty who stood on the walkway of Carlton House and acted as if she barely knew him.

  At least he had one answer. Genie’s sudden marriage explained why she hadn’t returned to England. Why she hadn’t come back to fight for him as she’d vowed to his mother?

  What a damned idiot he’d been. He was embarrassed for all the times that he’d thought about her over the past five years, for the pedestal on which he’d placed her, for the comparisons to other women who had always fallen impossibly short of her perfection.

  He’d spent the years since they’d parted chasing after something that had never been. The way he’d agonized after she’d left, the years of searching all seemed laughable now.

  Five years ago he’d loved her with all the unfettered passion of youth. The intensity of his feelings had terrified him. It was too strong, too fast. Too much. And he’d been too inexperienced to realize that he had stumbled onto something worth fighting for.

  As intensely as he’d loved, he suffered doubly when she left. He’d tortured himself for months trying to find her, but she’d disappeared without a trace.

  He took a deep breath, clearing the painful memories. That was a long time ago. Thankfully, he’d put those dangerous feelings behind him. He would never give himself up to a love like that again; it was far too destructive. The guilt, the suffering, the frustration of not being able to find her, was something he never cared to repeat.

  Unfortunately, her quick marriage did not erase the fact that he’d acted dishonorably; Huntingdon could not be absolved that easily. But the insatiable drive to redeem himself no longer burned quite so intensely. He’d lived with guilt for so long, he acknowledged that the burden might prove difficult to relinquish.

  He’d always felt that something terrible had happened to Genie in America that prevented her from returning to her family, if not to him. What else would explain her silence all these years? He’d made it his personal crusade to find her, to convince himself that she was unharmed. And because he never seriously contemplated marriage, it had never occurred to him that she would.

  Fool.

  The door opened and the Earl of Hawkesbury strode in unaccompanied. Apparently Huntingdon had neglected to instruct Grimes that his former best friend should now be announced like any other stranger.

  Hawk took one look at him and said, “You look like hell. Haven’t you slept?”

  Huntingdon glared at him with bloodshot eyes, taking in Hawk’s equally bedraggled appearance. He, too, still wore his evening clothes. The rage he’d felt last night at Hawk had diminished. Though he was not as drunk as he’d like to be for this conversation, his temper had cooled. He wanted answers. “Have you?” he returned.

  Hawk’s mouth curved into something that vaguely resembled a smile. He bowed and tipped his hat as if to say touché.

  Though the duke had not given him leave, Hawk sank down in a chair opposite him. He reached across the desk and helped himself to a generous pour of Huntingdon’s best brandy.

  They stared at each other, both unsure how to approach the insurmountable barrier erected between them. A lifetime of friendship desecrated by one unforgivable act.

  Huntingdon tapped the empty glass in his hand with his fingertips, the dull clink resonating in the silence. Finally, he spoke. “Does she know?” His voice sounded sluggish, rough from drink and lack of sleep.

  “Know that you sent me to America to find her?”

  Huntingdon nodded.

  “No,” Hawk said tightly. “Though she will later today.”

  Huntingdon raised a brow. “No excuses?”

  Hawk sighed wearily. “Would it make a difference?”

  “It might. I should like to think that my oldest friend did not set out to betray me.”

  “I didn’t.” Hawk stopped, searching for the right words. “There are things I can’t discuss, but I can tell you that I did not know who she was when I found her. She is much changed from your description…” He looked to Huntingdon for confirmation.

  “Yes, she is,” Huntingdon acknowledged reluctantly. “I barely recognized her.”

  Hawk nodded and continued. “When I first met her she was going by the name of Mrs. Ginny Preston. She only revealed who she was a month ago, by then it was too late. I was already in love with her. She trusted me. I couldn’t risk losing her.”

  Huntingdon gritted his teeth. The litany of accusations he’d been holding back shot forth. “Your losing her? You of all people know what I have gone through to find her. How I searched for her that first year without any trail to be found. How I drowned my shame and disappointment in drink and women. You were there. You pulled me out of the gutter. You know how much I have blamed myself for her being forced to leave her home, how much I’ve wanted to rectify my conduct. How relieved I was when my mother finally broke her silence and gave me a place to search. It was you who offered to go in my stead when Prinny wouldn’t allow me to leave England last year and I was about to commit treason and go anyway, throwing my political aspirations to the wind.” He stood up, yanked the curtain open to gaze out the window, turning his back to Hawk. His voice shook. “How could you?”

  “If you knew the circumstances…” Hawk began then stopped himself. “I know it seems insufficient, but there are reasons. And as I said, they are not mine to divulge. Suffice it to say that she is not the same girl you remember. I believed then, as I do now, that she was irretrievably lost to you.”

  Some of the duke’s rage returned. “How dare you presume to judge. You are in no position—”

  “I know,” Edmund agreed pitifully.

  “And last night? Was the ‘emergency’ that took me to your estate in Surrey part of your plan?”

  Edmund shrugged abashedly. “I admit to desperation, though there was nothing so formal as a plan. Of course, I knew you would eventually discover the identity of my betrothed. I just hoped to formally announce our engagement beforehand. But Genie has proved more obstinate in that respect than I anticipated. She has an unreasonable desire not to see me hurt.” He laughed without amusement at the irony. “She wants to ensure her acceptance by the ton.”

  Huntingdon understood. Genie feared that their former liaison might come to light and create a scandal. “There is little chance that our former connection would become known. Our families did a fair job of l