Now You See Her Read online

“That’s my name,” she growled. “Paris. With one r. Like the city. Like the dead Greek guy. Paris Samille, if you want the whole enchilada. And if you ever—ever—call me either one, I’ll hurt you.”

  Richard checked the time as he stood and picked up his jacket. He wasn’t an idiot, so he didn’t so much as smile. “All right,” he agreed. “I promise I’ll never call you anything you don’t like.” Before she could evade him, he bent and kissed her again.

  “I’ll lay off,” he said softly. “For now. But when this divorce is final, I’ll be back.”

  Sweeney didn’t say anything, just watched silently as he let himself out of the apartment. Was that a promise, or a threat? The decision was up to her, and she had no idea which it would be. The only thing she knew for certain was that when he kissed her, she had left safety far behind.

  * * *

  Sweeney picked up first one canvas and then another, trying to decide which she should take to the gallery. She didn’t like any of them, and the thought of anyone else seeing them embarrassed her. The bright colors looked childish to her, garish. Twice she started to call Candra and tell her she wouldn’t be bringing anything over after all, but both times she stopped herself. If what she was doing was crap, she needed to find out for certain now before she wasted any more time. She didn’t know what she would do if it was crap; therapy, maybe? If writers could have writer’s block, the equivalent had to be possible for artists.

  She could just hear it now; a therapist would solemnly tell her she was trying to resolve her childhood issues by becoming a child again, seeing things through a child’s eyes. Uh-huh. She had resolved her childhood issues a long time ago. She had resolved never to be like her parents, never to use her talent as an excuse for selfish, juvenile behavior, never to have children and then shunt them aside while she pursued her art. Her mother advocated free love and went through a period of trying to “free” Sweeney from her inhibitions by openly making love with her various lovers in front of her young daughter. These days, she would have been arrested. She should have been then, too.

  The wonder, Sweeney thought grimly, was that she had had the courage to paint at all, that she hadn’t gone into something like data processing or accounting, to get as far away from the art world as possible. But she had never considered not painting; it had been too much a part of her for as long as she could remember. As a little girl she had eschewed dolls, choosing colored pencils and sketch pads as her favorite toys. By the time she was six, she had been using oils, snitching the tubes from her mother whenever she could. She could lose herself in color for hours, stand enraptured staring not just at rainbows but at rain, seeing clouds as well as sky, individual blades of grass, the sheen of a ripe red apple.

  No, there had never been any question about her talent, or her obsession. So she had tried to be the best artist she could, and at the same time to be normal. Okay, so she sometimes slipped and forgot to comb her hair, and sometimes when she was working, she forgot and shoved her hands through said hair, leaving bright streaks of paint behind. That was minor. She wasn’t promiscuous; she paid her bills on time; she didn’t do drugs even on a recreational basis; she didn’t smoke; she didn’t drink. There wasn’t a swag of beads anywhere in her apartment, and she was a regular June Cleaver in her personal life.

  The most abnormal thing about her was that she saw ghosts, which really wasn’t so bad, was it? Like maybe a sixty-seven on a scale of one to ten.

  Sweeney snorted. She could stand there and philosophize all day, or she could pack up some canvases and get them over to the gallery.

  Because she had said she would, and because it didn’t matter which she chose, finally she just picked three at random. She thought they were all equally bad, so what difference did it make?

  As an afterthought, she picked up the sketch she had done of the hot dog vendor. She was pleased with that, at least. She had just guessed at how he would have looked at six years of age, as a teenager, as a young man, but she had kept that same sweetness of expression in all the sketches in the collage. She hoped he would like it.

  Her mind made up, she left the apartment before she could talk herself into dithering further. The rain the day before had left the air fresh and sweet; after a moment, surprised, Sweeney had to admit the weather forecast had been accurate: it was a beautiful day. That weird chill was gone, chased away by Richard’s body heat, and she felt warmer than she had in a long time. If it wasn’t for the anxiety that kept gnawing at her, she would have felt great. She decided to enjoy being warm and forget about how she had gotten that way.

  The hot dog vendor wasn’t in his usual spot. Sweeney stopped, disappointed and unaccountably uneasy. As if she could will it into appearing, she stared at the location where the cart was usually parked. He must be sick, because she had never before walked down this street without seeing him.

  Worried, she walked on to the gallery. Kai rose from his desk and came forward to take the wrapped canvases from her. “Great! Candra and I have been talking about you. I can’t wait to see what you’re doing now.”

  “Neither can I,” Candra said, coming out of her office and smiling warmly at Sweeney. “Don’t look so worried. I don’t think you’re capable of doing a bad painting.”

  “You’d be surprised what I can do,” Sweeney muttered.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” drawled a thin, black-clad man with stringy blond hair, sauntering out of Candra’s office. “I don’t think you’ve surprised any of us in a long time, darling.”

  Sweeney stifled a disgusted groan. VanDern. Just the person she least wanted to see.

  “Leo, behave yourself,” Candra admonished, giving him a stern look.

  At least, Sweeney thought, seeing VanDern chased away her anxiety. Hostility overrode anxiety any day of the week. Her eyes narrowed warningly as she looked at him.

  Like her mother, he epitomized what she despised most, dramatizing himself by wearing black leather pants, black turtleneck, black Cossack boots. Instead of a belt, a hammered silver chain was draped around his skinny waist. He wore three studs in one ear and a hoop in the other. He was never clean-shaven, but cultivated the three-day-stubble look, expending more energy on appearing not to shave than he would have on shaving. She suspected he went months, certainly weeks, without washing his hair. He could go on for hours about symbolism and the hopelessness of modern society, about how man had raped the universe and how his single glob of paint on a canvas captured the pain and despair of all mankind. In his own opinion, he was as profound as the Dalai Lama. In hers, he was as profound as a turd.

  Candra unwrapped the canvases and in silence set them on some empty easels. Sweeney deliberately didn’t look at them, though her stomach knotted.

  “Wow,” Kai said softly. He had said the same thing about her red sweater the day before, but this time the tone was different.

  Candra was silent, tilting her head a little as she studied the paintings.

  VanDern stepped forward, glancing at the paintings and dismissing them with a sneer. “Trite,” he pronounced. “Landscapes. How original. I’ve never seen trees and water before.” He examined his nails. “I may faint from the excitement.”

  “Leo,” Candra said in warning. She was still looking at the canvases.

  “Don’t tell me you like this stuff,” he scoffed. “You can buy ‘pitchers’ like this in any discount store in the country. Oh, I know there’s a market for it, people who don’t know anything about art and just want something that’s ‘purty’ but let’s be honest, shall we?”

  “By all means,” Sweeney said in a low, dangerous voice, stepping closer to him. Hearing that tone, Candra snapped her head around, but she was too late to preserve the peace. Sweeney poked VanDern in the middle of his sunken chest. “If we’re being honest, any monkey can throw a glob of paint on a canvas, and any idiot can call it art, but the fact is, it doesn’t take any talent to do either one. It takes talent and skill to reproduce an object so the observer actually re