Shadow Woman: A Novel Read online

  The harsh fluorescent lights of the pharmacy faded, sound receded, and for a few disconcerting seconds her vision narrowed to him, just him, as if they were alone in the middle of the store. The volatile mixture of reactions was so confusing she reached behind herself to grip a shelf for support as she backed up a step, needing some distance between them. He was too much.

  Her eyes big, her lips going numb, she all but gawked at him as she tried to come to grips with herself. She didn’t react to men this way, not even nice, sweet, stable, gainfully employed men any normal woman would love to meet, and certainly not this—this predator. “Nice” and “sweet” were two words she was certain had never been applied to him. She should run. She should obey her gut instinct and get as far away from him as fast as she could.

  She knew that. She agreed with her gut instinct. But she couldn’t get her feet to move.

  She shivered, her body still battling with the overwhelming, conflicting signals her brain was sending. Maybe she was going to faint, she thought, alarmed by the possibility but unable to look away from him.

  He was a head taller than she, broad-shouldered, tough and lean in boots, jeans, and a denim shirt unbuttoned over a black tee shirt. More than his size, though, was the aura of coiled power about him, even though he was just standing there. His stance, the way he was perfectly balanced so he could go in any direction without hesitation, the powerfully muscled legs so plainly revealed by his tight jeans, all spoke to a man in top physical condition.

  The bone structure of his face was lean and angular, with chiseled high cheekbones and a thin, high-bridged nose that made her think he must have some Native American in his heritage, though it could be Middle Eastern. But it was his eyes that marked him for what he was. He was dark-haired, olive-skinned, and his heavy-lidded eyes such a dark shade of brown that the irises almost blended with the blackness of his pupils. His gaze was direct, coldly intense, and as it focused on her she felt as if she’d suddenly been put in the crosshairs—

  She felt a sharp, warning stab of pain, and that finally broke the spell she’d been under. Swiftly she looked away, concentrating on the label of a shampoo bottle, because she’d look like an idiot if she started humming mindlessly. The pain ebbed and she said, “That’s okay,” not looking at him again because something about his eyes made her feel as if she were standing on the edge of a cliff, about to fall into the unknown.

  His big hand appeared in her field of vision as he reached for a bottle of shampoo. “This stuff makes me feel like an idiot,” he muttered, startling her into glancing at him.

  “Shampoo?” She knit her brows together in a slight frown. “What’s hard about shampoo? Wet, lather, rinse. Don’t tell me you failed Shampoo 101.” The words popped out, and it felt as if someone else was saying them. She knew better; don’t engage with strangers—especially strangers who looked as if they could snap her neck with one hand—don’t be provocative, don’t … She knew there were more “don’ts,” more directives she should be following, but they were fraying, falling apart even as she tried to bring them to mind. She wasn’t a smart-ass; she tried to be polite to everyone, tried not to be intrusive, yet here she was busting this guy’s chops and the weird thing was … it felt almost natural.

  “Passed with flying colors; I was the teacher’s pet,” he returned, his mouth quirking up on one side in a lopsided half-smile that showed he wasn’t at all offended. “But look at this.” He turned the bottle so she could see it. “ ‘Volumizing and clarifying.’ What is it, and do I need it? Will it make my hair stand straight out, and I’ll understand the universe better?”

  She looked up at his dark hair, thick, straight, and slightly unruly, as if he’d combed it by dragging his fingers through it. “I don’t think you need any volumizing.” Pointing down the aisle, she said, “Besides, this is a woman’s shampoo. You need that manly man stuff down there.”

  He looked where she was pointing. “What’s the difference?”

  “Packaging.”

  His gaze returned to her and his lips quirked again. “So I’ll still understand the universe better?”

  Her heart started beating a little harder, a little faster. “No, but you’ll feel more manly while you’re not understanding it.”

  The expression in his eyes changed, lit, and he laughed, kind of, a rough little chuckle as if he didn’t make the sound very often and didn’t know how to let it go. Her heart gave a funny little bump, followed by another skin-prickling chill as she abruptly realized she’d let her guard down. She had to get away from him, had to be safe, because whatever he was, was more than she could handle.

  “Excuse me,” she said, turning on her heel before he could say anything else. She reached the end of the aisle as fast as she could without actually running, darted to the left, set her basket down, and headed for the door. She needed the antinausea stuff in the basket, as well as the aspirin, but taking the time to check out was more time than she had. She’d go somewhere else to get what she needed. She’d go to Walmart. She had to get away from him and she didn’t care if she made a fool of herself doing it.

  Her heart was pounding as she all but sprinted across the parking lot to her car. She used the remote to unlock it just before she reached for the door, threw herself inside, and relocked the doors. Fumbling a little, she pushed the key into the ignition and started the engine.

  No one followed her out of the store.

  Knucklehead.

  She sat for a few seconds, breathing hard, exasperated with herself. She’d panicked for no good reason, just because some big guy had made some casual conversation with her.

  Maybe. Maybe that was all he’d been doing. But maybe there was more, something she didn’t understand and couldn’t remember. How could she tell the difference?

  Answer: she couldn’t.

  She blew out a breath. Oh, well, she needed to go to Walmart anyway, to buy a replacement for her cell phone. She’d still have to pay for her plan with her current cell server, but until she figured out what was going on, she wanted a phone that was more anonymous. Make that two phones, because she needed a burner phone—

  Shit!

  She didn’t have time to hum or read labels. The agony in her head made her whimper as she tried to curl into a ball, but the steering wheel was in the way and she banged her knee, hard. That helped, in a strange way, as if she could process only so much pain at one time, and this new source jerked her focus away from her head. The headache promptly began ebbing.

  Her eyes were watering from the pain, but at least she hadn’t started vomiting again. She wiped her eyes and sank back in the seat, breathing hard and gathering her energy. Okay. She’d just learned another coping strategy. The next time an attack sneaked past her guard, all she needed to do was punch herself in the mouth.

  She didn’t remember him. That was good. That was bad. When she suddenly bolted, running from him as if snakes had sprouted from his head, Xavier forced himself to remain where he was. He didn’t want to panic her into doing something that would trigger a response from Forge’s people. Simply approaching her himself was risky enough, but now he had the answer he wanted.

  She was coming back. He knew it, even though she hadn’t recognized him. She’d still reacted to him, to the almost electric connection they’d always had. The shampoo conversation had been so similar to one they’d once had about deodorant that he hadn’t been able to mask his reaction. You’ll still smell better, but you’ll feel more manly about not stinking. He could still hear her saying that, see her smirk before he grabbed her and kissed it off. She’d had a smart mouth on her that had required a lot of kissing to keep her under control; listening to her these past few years, hearing how dulled down they’d made her, had driven him nuts even though he’d been forced to accept it.

  She was alive, though she hadn’t really been living. He’d had to be content with that. But now things were changing; he’d heard it in her voice, seen it in the sparkle that had lit her eye