Up Close and Dangerous Read online

  “So he did leave you some money.”

  “No, he didn’t.” The relief had faded, and she was getting very sick of this conversation. “I have privileges, such as living in the house, my expenses taken care of, and I’m paid a very nice salary for managing the funds, but I didn’t inherit anything. All of the privileges stop if I remarry, but the salary continues as long as I do the job.”

  “Got it. I won’t even ask what you consider a ‘very nice’ salary.”

  “That’s good, because it’s none of your business,” she said acerbically.

  He snuggled her closer and rested his chin on her shoulder. “I’m curious about something, though. You’ve truly never been in love? Ever?”

  The change in subject made her uncomfortable and she shifted restlessly. “Have you?”

  “Sure. Several times.”

  It was the “several” that made her wince. If it were truly love, wouldn’t it be only once? Real love shouldn’t fade. Real love expanded, made room for children and pets and a host of friends and relatives. It didn’t come with an expiration date, and after that date you moved on to someone else.

  “When I was six, I fell madly in love with my first grade teacher. Her name was Miss Samms,” he said reminiscently, and she could hear the smile in his voice. “She was fresh out of college, she had these big blue eyes, and she smelled better than anything I’d ever smelled in my whole life. She was also engaged, to some bastard who wasn’t nearly good enough for her, and I was so jealous I wanted to beat him up.”

  “I gather you were smart enough not to try,” Bailey said, relaxing. She couldn’t take a six-year-old’s crush on his teacher seriously.

  “Barely. I didn’t want to upset Miss Samms by killing her boyfriend.”

  She snickered and he punished her with a pinch. “Don’t laugh. I was as serious as a heart attack. When I grew up, I was going to ask Miss Samms to marry me.”

  “So what happened to this grand love?”

  “I started second grade. I was older, more mature.”

  “Um hmm. Mature.”

  “I chose a more appropriate love interest the next time. Her name was Heather, she was in my class, and one day she pulled up her skirt and showed me her panties.”

  She barely managed to restrain another snicker. “My goodness. Heather was fast.”

  “You have no idea. My heart was broken when I found her showing her panties to some other boy.”

  “That’s a big disillusionment. I wonder how you had the strength to go on.”

  “Then when I was eleven…Katie. Ah, Katie. She could hit a fastball like you wouldn’t believe. She moved away before I could get up the nerve to make a move on her—but she moved back when I was fourteen. When I was sixteen, Katie wrestled me down and took advantage of me.”

  “Oh, I bet! Excuse me, I mean, the nerve of some girls!”

  “She was strong,” he said seriously. “I was so scared of her I let her do what she wanted with me for a couple of years.”

  She reached back and returned the pinch he’d given her.

  “Ouch! Is that any way to treat a man? I’m telling you how I was used and abused, and instead of feeling sorry for me you abuse me some more.”

  “Poor pitiful you. I can tell you were traumatized. That’s why you named a certain body part ‘Good Time Charlie.’”

  “I considered ‘Go Slow Joe,’ but I had to go with my heart.”

  Bailey completely lost control of the giggles that had been building up. “Justice, you’re so full of it the shelter needs shoveling out.”

  “You’re laughing at all my trials and tribulations in the romance field? I don’t know if I should tell you the rest.”

  “How many more are there?”

  “Just one, and this one’s serious. I married her.”

  That was serious, and the laughter went out of Bailey. She could tell by the change in his voice that he wasn’t kidding any longer. “What happened?”

  “To be honest, I don’t know. I didn’t cheat on her and I don’t think she cheated on me. We got married while I was still in the Academy; her father was an officer, she’d grown up with the military lifestyle so she knew what to expect. Her name was—is—Laura. All the moving from base to base, the separations, she took in stride. What she couldn’t handle, I guess, is civilian life. When I got out of the military, that’s when things went to hell. If we’d had kids I guess we would have stuck it out, but without them, the hard fact is we didn’t love each other enough to keep things together.”

  “Thank God you didn’t have kids!” she said fervently, before catching herself. “Sorry. It’s just—well…”

  “You’ve been there.”

  “Too many times.”

  “I guess that’s why you’re afraid to let yourself care about anyone,” he said, and her heart jumped violently in her chest. She knew why she kept people at a distance, but she’d never before revealed so much of herself to anyone. Too late, she saw that his easy humor had undermined her guard and she’d given him an enormous advantage, one that he wouldn’t hesitate to use.

  As if to underscore the thought, he gave a low sound of satisfaction, the sound of a predator with its prey in its grasp, and said, “I’ve got you now.”

  27

  “MEN!” BAILEY MUTTERED AS THEY TRUDGED THROUGH the snow. “Can’t reason with ’em, can’t shoot ’em.”

  “I heard that,” Cam said over his shoulder. “Besides, you don’t have a weapon.”

  “Maybe I can smother him in his sleep,” she mused to herself. Her voice was muted by the cloth over the lower half of her face, but evidently not muted enough.

  “I heard that, too.”

  “Then I assume you can hear this: You’re a stubborn, mule-headed, macho idiot, and if you get dizzy and fall you’ll probably break some bones even if the fall doesn’t kill you outright, and I swear I’ll leave you bleeding in the snow!” Her voice rose until she was shouting at him.

  “I love you, too.” He was laughing, and she wanted to kick him.

  She had seldom been as furious with anyone as she was with him, but then she seldom lost her temper. You had to care about something to get angry, a fact that made her even angrier. She didn’t want to care about him. He’d made what she thought was a dumb-ass decision, and she wanted to mentally shrug and let it go because he was an adult and he could bear the consequences of his dumb-ass decisions. Instead, she was fretting. And worrying about him. And letting her imagination run away with her, picturing all sorts of awful things that could happen to him, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it because he was a stubborn, mule-headed, macho idiot.

  He was pulling the rough sled he’d made, loaded down with the things they’d decided they would need along the way, plus one addition he’d made that morning: the battery. Getting it out of the wreckage had taken a herculean effort, one that had left him pale and sweating—a big part of the problem was that the battery was so heavy, over eighty pounds. But he’d tested the battery, it still had juice, and he’d decided that they should take it so that if anything happened to him, she’d still be able to make a fire.

  She’d yelled at him that they would have been doing without a fire anyway. He’d said no, they weren’t, that when they got out of the snow and he could find dry wood, he could make a fire using friction, because he’d been a Boy Scout and knew how.

  “Fine,” she said. “Then you can teach me, and we won’t need to drag a hundred-pound battery around! You have a concussion. You lost a lot of blood. You shouldn’t be exerting yourself this much!”

  “It doesn’t weigh a hundred pounds,” he’d retorted, completely ignoring the rest of her comment—as well as the fact that the battery came damn close to weighing that much.

  So he’d wrestled the thing onto the sled, and the weight had made the wooden runners dig into the snow. Seeing that she couldn’t dissuade him from taking the battery, she’d grabbed the traces and started pulling the sled herse