The Touch of Fire Read online

  She stared into the night, so tired her eyes were burning, yet she couldn’t sleep. What could she have done differently that would have changed the morning’s events? She could think of nothing, and yet she kept seeing Trahern’s open, unseeing eyes. He had been a killer, hunting men for money, but he hadn’t seemed particularly mean. He had been polite to her, had at first tried to reassure her, had even, within the realm of possibility, tried to make certain she wouldn’t be hurt. Morals, or had he simply been disinterested because there was no profit to be had in her death? She wished he had been a filthy, brute, but life never seemed to be that clearcut.

  And yet it had been that clear-cut for Trahern. He hadn’t shot Rafe when he’d had the chance because he had known he was dying and thus wouldn’t be able to collect the bounty money. As Trahern himself had said, there was no point in it. For him, it had simply been a question of money and nothing else.

  The stars came out and she stared at them through the trees, wishing that she knew how to tell time by their position. She had no idea how long Rafe had been gone, but it didn’t matter. He would either be back by morning, or he wouldn’t.

  If he didn’t return, what would she do? Ride back to Silver Mesa and pick up her life where she had left it?

  Say that she had been summoned to treat someone a good distance away? She didn’t think she could calmly ride back into town and carry off a charade like that, knowing that Rafe was dead.

  She was acutely aware that he could just keep on going, that he might have had no intention of returning for her, but her heart didn’t believe it. With no real evidence to sustain her, only the love she bore him, she knew that he wouldn’t abandon her like that. Rafe had said he would be back. As long as he was alive, he would keep his word.

  It seemed as if hours had passed and dawn had to be on the horizon before she heard the sound of a horse being walked toward her. She scrambled to her feet and almost fell, for she had been sitting so long that her legs were cold and numb. Rafe dismounted and immediately put his arms around her. “Was there any trouble?” he asked into her hair. “Did anything frighten you?”

  “No,” she stammered, burying her face against his chest and inhaling the wonderful hot male scent of him. Nothing had frightened her except the horrifying possibility of never seeing him again. She wanted to cling to him and never let go.

  “I got fresh clothes for you, and some other things.”

  “Such as?”

  “Another cup, for one thing.” She heard the amusement in his voice. “And another cook pot. Soap and matches. Things like that.”

  “No oil lamp?”

  “Tell you what. If we find another cabin to stay in, I promise I’ll find an oil lamp for you.”

  “I’ll hold you to that,” she said.

  He spread a blanket on the ground. “We might as well bed down here,” he said. “Come morning, we’ll head south.”

  They had Trahern’s blankets now, and were below the snow line, so she knew they would be warm enough. The question was whether or not she could sleep. She curled up on her side and pillowed her head on her arm, but as soon as she closed her eyes she saw Trahern’s body and she quickly opened them again.

  Rafe lay down beside her and pulled the blankets over them. His hand was heavy on her stomach. “Annie,” he said, that special note in his voice that said he wanted her.

  She tensed. After everything that had happened that day, she didn’t think she could lose herself in lovemaking. “I can’t,” she said, her voice breaking a little.

  “Why not?”

  “I killed a man today.”

  After a moment of silence he leaned up on his elbow. “Accidentally. You didn’t mean to kill him.”

  “Does that make any difference to him?” Another silence. “Would you hold your fire if you could do it over again?”

  “No,” she whispered. “Even if I knew I was going to kill him, I would still have to shoot. In that regard, it wasn’t an accident at all.”

  “The men I’ve killed were during war or to prevent them from killing me. I learned not to worry about their decision in coming after me; they made it, so they took the consequences. I can’t live my life regretting that I’m the one alive, instead of them.”

  She knew that. Her mind accepted it. Her heart, though, was sick with combined shock and sadness.

  His hand became more insistent, turning her onto her back. “Rafe, no,” she said. “It wouldn’t be right.”

  He tried to see her face through the darkness. All day long he had been aware of her suffering, and though he couldn’t put himself in her place to the extent that he could feel her pain, he had understood the reasons and worried because she was hurting. He had hoped that the sudden action forced on them would keep her from brooding, but it hadn’t.

  Doctors spent their lives trying to help others. The calling had been even stronger for Annie, for she had had to fight just for the chance to learn. His little darling hadn’t even been able to bring herself to hurt him even when she had been terrified for her life, yet she had shot without hesitation to protect him, and now her soul was hurting.

  She had no idea how to handle it. When he had been forced to face death he hadn’t had the luxury of time to reflect on it; the battle had moved too swiftly. Afterward he had vomited and wondered if he could ever face another dawn, but the sun had risen after all and there had been other battles. He had learned how frail human life was, how easily snuffed, and how little difference it made.

  Annie would never be able to accept that. Life was precious to her, and it humbled him that she had killed to defend him. She was mired in remorse, and he couldn’t leave her there. He didn’t know what else to do but refuse to leave her alone with death filling her memories. He leaned over her. “Annie. Our lives didn’t stop.”

  His strong hands were under her skirt, opening her drawers and pulling them down, then he flipped her skirt up and rolled on top of her. His heavy weight held her down, his thighs forced hers open.

  His penetration hurt, because she wasn’t ready for him, but her hands dug into his powerful back as she clung to him. His powerful thrusts moved her back and forth on the blanket. His heat comforted her, inside and out. She caught her breath on a sob, but she was glad he hadn’t stopped. She sensed that he knew what she was feeling, just as he knew that the celebration of life is keenest when faced with the specter of death. He wouldn’t let her wallow in guilt. This is life, he was telling her. With the force of his body he was drawing her away from the death scene being played over and over in her mind.

  She did sleep, eventually, worn out from the demands he had made on her and the explosive reaction of her own body. Rafe held her in his arms and felt her finally relax, and only then did he allow himself to sleep.

  CHAPTER

  12

  “Where are we going?” she asked when they stopped at noon to eat and rest the horses.

  “Mexico. That’ll get Atwater off my trail.”

  “But not the bounty hunters.”

  He shrugged.

  “Trahern said that the bounty on you is ten thousand dollars.”

  Rafe’s eyebrows went up and he whistled. He looked a little pleased. Annie had never struck a person in her life, but she was sorely tempted to slap him. Men !

  “It’s gone up,” he said. “Last I heard, it was six thousand.”

  “Who was it you were supposed to have killed?” she asked in bewilderment. “Who was that important?”

  “Tench Tilghman.” Rafe paused, his eyes on the horizon. In his mind he saw Tench’s young, earnest face.

  “I’ve never heard of him.”

  “No, I suppose not. He wasn’t anyone important.”

  “Then why is there so much money offered for a reward? Was his family rich? Is that what it is?”

  “It isn’t Tench’s family,” Rafe muttered. “And Tench was just an excuse. If it hadn’t been him, they would have pinned someone else’s murder on me. Killing me is t