Once and Always Read online

  With Wolf protectively at her side, she lifted her sodden skirts, walked up the front steps of the cottage, and knocked.

  A moment later the door was flung open and Captain Farrell’s rugged face was silhouetted in the light from the cheerful fire behind him. “Lady Fielding!” he gasped, reaching out to pull her quickly inside. A low, vicious snarl from Wolf stopped his hand in midmotion and his eyes widened as he beheld the wet gray beast that was snarling at him, its lip curled back above white fangs.

  “Wolf, stop it!” Victoria commanded wearily, and the animal subsided.

  Keeping a wary eye on the ferocious-looking beast, Captain Farrell cautiously drew Victoria inside. Wolf followed close at her heels, his tawny eyes riveted warningly on Mike Farrell. “What in heaven’s name are you doing out in this weather?” he asked worriedly.

  “S-swimming,” Victoria tried to joke, but her teeth were chattering and her body was trembling with cold as he pulled her cloak off and tossed it over the back of a chair near the fire.

  “You’ll have to get out of those wet garments or you’ll catch your death. Will that great beast let you out of his sight long enough to put on some warm clothes?”

  Victoria wrapped her arms around herself and nodded, glancing at her fierce canine guardian. “S-stay here, Wolf.”

  The dog flopped down in front of the fireplace and put his head on his big paws, his eyes trained on the doorway into the bedroom through which they disappeared.

  “I’ll stoke up the fire,” Captain Farrell said kindly in the bedroom, handing her a pair of his own trousers and one of his shirts. “These clothes are the best I can offer.” Victoria opened her mouth to speak, but he forestalled her. “I’ll not listen to any foolish arguments about the impropriety of wearing men’s clothes, young woman,” he said authoritatively. “Use the water in the pitcher to wash and then put on these clothes and wrap yourself up in that blanket. When you’re ready, come out by the fire and get warm. If you’re worried about whether Jason might disapprove of your wearing my clothes, you can stop worrying—I’ve known him since he was a very small lad.”

  Victoria’s head came up defensively. “I am not at all concerned with what Jason might think,” she said, unable to keep the rebellious note out of her voice. “I have no intention of freezing to death to suit him. Or anyone,” she amended quickly, realizing how much she was giving away in her beleaguered discomfort.

  Captain Farrell shot her an odd, narrow look, but he only nodded. “Good. That’s very sensible thinking.”

  “If I were sensible, I would have stayed home today.” Victoria smiled wanly, trying to hide her misery over her abortive effort to brighten her life.

  When she emerged from the bedroom, Captain Farrell had already put her horse in the small barn beyond the house, stoked up the fire, and made her a cup of tea. He handed her a big cloth. “Use this to dry your hair,” he commanded kindly, indicating that she should sit in the chair he’d drawn up close to the fire.

  “Do you mind if I smoke this?” he asked, holding up a pipe as he sat down across from her.

  “Not at all,” Victoria said politely.

  He filled the bowl with tobacco and lit it, puffing idly, his disconcertingly direct gaze focused on Victoria’s face. “Why didn’t you do that?” he asked finally.

  “Why didn’t I do what?”

  “Stay at home today.”

  Wondering if she looked as guilty and unhappy as she felt at the moment, Victoria gave a light, evasive shrug. “I wanted to bring food to the orphanage. There was so much of it left after our party last night.”

  “Yet it was obviously going to rain, and you could have sent a servant to the orphanage—which, by the way, is another mile past here. Instead, you decided to brave the weather and try to find the place yourself.”

  “I needed—wanted, I mean—to get away, to get out of the house for a while, that is,” Victoria said, paying unnecessary attention to the act of stirring her tea.

  “I’m surprised Jason didn’t insist you stay home,” he persisted pointedly.

  “I didn’t think it was necessary to ask his permission,” Victoria replied, uneasily conscious of Captain Farrell’s searching questions and intent gaze.

  “He must be worried sick about you by now.”

  “I very much doubt if he’ll discover I’ve been gone.” Or that he’d care, even if he knew, she thought miserably.

  “Lady Fielding?”

  There was something about the bluntness beneath his polite tone that made Victoria certain she did not want to continue this conversation. On the other hand, she had little choice. “Yes, Captain?” she said warily.

  “I saw Jason this morning.”

  Victoria’s unease grew. “Oh, yes?” She had the worst feeling that for some reason Jason might have come here to discuss her with his old friend, and she felt as if all the world was turning against her.

  Apparently Captain Farrell sensed her suspicion, because he explained, “Jason owns a large fleet of ships. I have command of one of them, and he wanted to discuss the success of this last voyage with me.”

  Victoria seized on that remark to try to shift the conversation away from herself. “I didn’t know Lord Fielding knew anything about ships, or that he was involved with them,” she said in a bright, inquiring voice.

  “That’s odd.”

  “What is?”

  “Perhaps I am simple and old-fashioned, but I find it rather odd that a woman wouldn’t know that her husband spent years of his life aboard a ship.”

  Victoria gaped at him. As far as she knew, Jason was an English lord—an arrogant, wealthy, world-weary, spoiled aristocrat. The only thing that distinguished him from the rest of the noblemen she’d met was that Jason spent a great deal of time in his study working, while the other wealthy gentlemen she’d met in England seemed to spend all their time in the pursuit of pleasure and diversion.

  “Perhaps you simply aren’t interested in his accomplishments?” Captain Farrell prodded, his manner chilling. He puffed on his pipe for a moment, then said bluntly, “Why did you marry him?”

  Victoria’s eyes flew wide open. She felt like a trapped rabbit—a feeling she was beginning to experience very often and which was beginning to grate terribly on her pride. She raised her head and regarded her inquisitor with ill-concealed resentment. With as much dignity as she could muster, she replied evasively, “I married Lord Fielding for the usual reasons.”

  “Money, influence, and social position,” Captain Farrell summarized with scathing disgust. “Well, you have all three now. Congratulations.”

  This unprovoked attack was too much for Victoria to bear. Tears of fury sprang to her eyes as she stood up, clutching the blanket to herself. “Captain Farrell, I am not wet enough or miserable enough or desperate enough to sit here and feel obliged to listen to you accuse me of being mercenary and—and selfish and—a social parasite—”

  “Why not?” he bit out. “Evidently, you’re all those things.”

  “I don’t care what you think of me. I—” Her voice cracked and Victoria started toward the bedroom, intending to get her clothes, but he rolled to his feet and blocked her way, angrily searching her face as if he were trying to look into her soul.

  “Why do you want a divorce?” he demanded sharply, but his expression gentled slightly as he stared down at her beautiful, fragile features. Even wrapped in a plain woolen blanket, Victoria Seaton was an incredibly lovely sight, with the firelight glinting in her red-gold hair and her magnificent blue eyes flashing with helpless resentment. She had spirit, but it was evident from the tears glistening in her eyes that her spirit was nearly broken. In fact, she looked as if she were about to splinter apart.

  “This morning,” he persisted, “I jokingly asked Jason if you’d left him yet. He said you hadn’t left him, but you’d asked for a divorce. I assumed he meant that to be humorous, but when you walked in here just now, you certainly didn’t look like a happy new bride.”