Upon a Midnight Clear Read online

  "Green and red. Looks kind of like a big, weird wreath," Barbara said, following Kim's lead and dipping the Bugle in the Cheez Whiz. "Don't you think?"

  Kim tilted her head and looked at it again. "I don't know. Right now it doesn't look like much of anything to me." She shrugged. "I'm sorry. I woke up in a lousy mood. I think it's the holiday." She nodded toward the jar of Cheez Whiz. "We better put that stuff away. It's addictive."

  "No!" Barbara said adamantly. "This is all part of the holidays. You start eating, and you don't stop until January. It's an eatathon. Anything and everything you can stuff in your mouth."

  "I think I'll pass," Kim said. "But you go right ahead. I'll leave this out for you."

  "So why are you so crabby? Getting nervous about your show?" Barbara asked, referring to the second major show of Kim's career. Her first show had been six months earlier at a local gallery in town. A buyer from a prestigious Miami gallery had seen her work there and had offered Kim a showing at his gallery, one frequented by wealthy clients. It was an important break for Kim. Her career had demanded long hours and hard work, with little financial reward.

  "No. I don't think so. I mean I'm nervous, but I don't think that has much to do with my mood."

  "Are you missing Ed?" Ed was Kim's most reeent boyfriend, a fellow artist who had recently decided to move to L.A. and become an actor.

  "Ed? No." Kim had been relieved when Ed had decided to move. It was an easy, almost painless way to end a relationship that had been going nowhere fast. "I'd have to be a masochist to miss him. I mean, I guess I miss having a date every now and then, but I don't miss always paying for his dinner, watching him flirt with other women in front of me, and being told I could benefit from hiring a personal trainer—as he's squeezing my rear end…"

  "Yeah, right! As if he was Mister Studly!"

  "Exactly," Kim said, shoving another Bugle into her mouth. The mere thought of a hard-core workout was enough to make her stomach rumble.

  "Anyway, you're a toothpick. He's crazy!" Barbara said enthusiastically.

  Kim shrugged. "According to him, my body is not toned."

  "I should be so unlucky," Barbara said wistfully, staring at her pretty and thin friend as she ate a spoonful of Cheez Whiz. "You know what you need?"

  "To lay off the Cheez Whiz?"

  Barbara stuck the spoon back inside the glass jar and said, "You need to relax a little. Get out there and date, instead of always working."

  "I'm busy. And I'm happy with my life. My time is important to me—and I'm not going to waste it dating just to… date."

  "Mr. Right could be out there waiting for you, and you'd never know it. You'll never meet him holed up in here all day and night."

  "I'll never meet Mr. Right because he doesn't exist."

  "Tell me what you're looking for. Maybe I can fix you up with someone."

  "No thanks."

  "Cmon. What kind of guy are you looking for?"

  "Someone who puts family above… well,, his career."

  "Better look for a guy over sixty-five. If you want to come before his career, stick with retirees."

  Kim laughed as she took a hair band out of her pocket and skillfully pulled her long brown hair back in a ponytail. "Whatever happened to old-fashioned romance?"

  "Old-fashioned? Forget sixty-five, maybe you better try a guy over seventy."

  "You know what I mean. The "Hey, it's cold out here, let me give you my coat" type of love. The kind of guy that brings flowers…"

  "I've got just the guy. My grandpa—Grandpa Willie. You'll love him. Want to see a picture?"

  "Does he have gorgeous eyes, nice hair…" Kim replied, playing along.

  "I think he has a nice hair. How many do you want?"

  Kim smiled at her friend. "Grandpa Willie, huh?"

  Barbara nodded. "He is cute." She laughed. "Let's say you can choose three things about your Mr. Right. What are they?"

  "Things?"

  "Characteristics. Qualities."

  "The coat thing, that's a definite."

  "Okay, we've got the guy giving you his coat… very chivalrous," Barbara said, drawing a number one in the air.

  "And the flowers."

  "Okay, we've got a guy giving away his coat and bringing flowers," she said, drawing a big number two in the air. "One more."

  "And he must like my rear end."

  "Just your rear end?" Barbara asked. "Why not go for the whole package? Don't you want a guy that thinks you're perfect? This is Mr. Right, after all."

  "Exactly," Kim said good-naturedly, pretending to slam her fist down as she played along with her friend. "He must like my whole package!"

  "Excellent!" Barbara said, laughing and clapping her hands together. "He must think you're perfect."

  As their laughter died down, Kim shook her head. "Listen to me. Rambling on about my dream man. Good thing you're not taking me seriously."

  Barbara nodded knowingly. "So that's why you're so cranky. Depressed about your love life."

  Kim shrugged. "Usually I don't mind being single," she said, "but the holidays can be tough when you're alone. I always get this kind of vague, uncomfortable feeling that I'm missing something." She sighed. "I don't know. It's like New Year's Eve. I'm always convinced everyone is having a really good time except me."

  Barbara's lips curled up into a dreamy smile. "I had a great time last New Year's. I was dating Frank, remember? I had been dating him for… well, we'd been on five dates, and he hadn't even tried to kiss me. He waited until the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve. It was so romantic," she said dreamily. She shook her head as her mood suddenly changed for the worse. "Of course, I had to go and dump him for Rick." Then she added quickly, "The doctor," as if to distinguish him from any other Rick she might have dated. Barbara had dated Rick for about five months. When he left town for a new residency program, their relationship had ended.

  "Don't fed bad about Rick," Kim said. "I know you were impressed by the whole doctor thing, but believe me, being the wife of a doctor stinks. They work all the time. You'd never see him."

  Barbara shrugged. "I can think of worse things."

  "They're a strange breed. Especially… what was Rick… a surgeon or something?"

  "A thoracic surgeon," Barbara said. "Just like your dad."

  Kim's father was the chief of thoracic surgery at St Mary's Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan—at least, that was his job fifteen years ago, when Kim had last spoken with him.

  Kim rolled her eyes. 'Take it from me, you made the right decision," Kim said, "dropping him."

  "I didn't drop him, he dropped me."

  "He did you a favor. My mother was one of the loneliest people I knew. She gave up everything for my dad, and he never even noticed." Kim hesitated as she remembered her mother. She had died last year and Kim missed her terribly. She remembered the anguish her mother had suffered, loving a man whose obsession with his career rendered him incapable of returning her feelings. "My dad's patients and his career always came first—before my mother, before me. If you had kids, you'd have to raise them yourself. He'd be on call all the time, and when he wasn't…"

  "He'd be with me in our eight-bedroom house on the water…"

  "He'd be trying to arrange a way to sneak out with one of the nurses he had his eye on."

  "Oh! That snake!" she said, smiling as she raised her fist up in the air. "I'll throw the book at him. I'll take him for every cent he has." She smiled. "That's a pleasant thought. Do I get to keep the house?"

  "If you're looking to live in a huge house on the water, can I give you a suggestion?"

  "Marry a dentist?"

  "No, something even more novel. How about getting that law degree you keep talking about?"

  "So I can defend myself in my divorce settlement with my doctor? Excellent idea," Barbara joked. "Think of all the money I'll save." Barbara's smile faded and she hesitated.

  Kim rarely spoke of her past, and Barbara thought she might try to