The Blessing Read online

  The sight that greeted her had to be seen to be believed. Jason, wearing what had to be a handmade shirt and very formal wool trousers, had Max stretched out on the kitchen countertop and was trying his best to change his diaper. And all the while he was fiddling with the thing, Max was staring at him in intense concentration, not wriggling as he did when Amy changed him.

  Putting her hand up to stifle a giggle, Amy watched until she was in danger of being discovered; then she silently ran back into the bedroom to take her time dressing.

  After a luxurious thirty minutes of putting on her clothes, combing her wet hair, and even applying a little eye makeup, she went into the living room, where Jason sat on the couch, looking half asleep, while Max played quietly on the floor. Max wasn’t yelling for breakfast, wasn’t demanding attention. Instead, he looked like an ad for Perfect Baby.

  Maybe she wouldn’t fire Jason after all.

  “Hungry?” she asked, startling him. “I don’t have much, but you’re welcome to it. I haven’t been to the grocery store in a few days. It’s difficult since I have no car. My mother-in-law usually takes me on Fridays, but last Friday she was busy, so . . .” She trailed off, since she knew she was talking too much.

  “I’m sure that anything you have will be fine with me,” he said, making her feel silly.

  “Cheerios it is then,” she said as she picked up Max, took him to the kitchen, then strapped him into his plastic booster seat, which she placed in the middle of the little kitchen table. She did the best she could to make the table pretty, but it wasn’t easy, not with a red, blue, and yellow baby chair in the middle and Max’s feet kicking at everything she set out.

  “It’s ready,” she called, and he sauntered into the kitchen, all six feet of him. He’s gay, she reminded herself. Gay. Like Rock Hudson was, remember?

  As she prepared Max’s warm porridge and mashed banana, she did her best to keep quiet. It was tempting to chatter away, as she was hungry for the sound of an adult voice, even if it was her own.

  “David said you were looking for a job,” the man said. “What are you trained for?”

  “Nothing,” she said cheerfully. “I have no talents, no ambition, no training. If Billy hadn’t shown me what’s what, I wouldn’t have figured out how to get pregnant.” Again she saw that tiny bit of a smile, and it made her continue. Billy always said that what he liked best about her was her ability to make him laugh.

  “You think I’m kidding,” she said as she held the cup of porridge up to Max’s mouth. He was much too impatient to give her time to spoon-feed him, so he usually ended up drinking his morning meal. Of course a third of it dribbled down his chin and onto his clothes, but he got most of it inside him.

  “Really, I’m no good at anything. I can’t type, can’t take shorthand. I have no idea how to even turn on a computer. I tried to be a waitress, but I got the orders so muddled I was fired after one week. I tried to sell real estate, but I told the clients that the houses weren’t worth the asking price, so I was asked to leave. I worked in a department store, but the perfume caused me to break out in a rash, and I told the customers where to buy the same clothes cheaper, and the shoes, well, the shoes were the worst.”

  “What happened in the shoe department?” he asked as he ate a second bowl of cereal.

  “I spent my whole salary on the things. That was the only job I ever quit. It cost me more than I made.”

  This time he nearly gave a real smile. “But Billy took you away from all of that,” he said, his eyes twinkling.

  Amy’s face lost its happy look, and she turned away to grab a cloth to wipe the porridge from Max’s face.

  “Did I say something?”

  “I know what everyone thinks of Billy, but he was good to me and I loved him. How could I not? He gave me Max.” At that she gave an adoring look to her messy son, and in response he squealed and kicked so hard that he nearly knocked over the booster seat.

  Jason stuck out a hand and steadied the thing. Frowning, he said, “Isn’t he supposed to be in a high chair? Something with legs on the floor?”

  “Yes!” Amy snapped. “He’s supposed to be in a high chair, and he’s supposed to sleep in a bed with sides that lower, and he’s supposed to have a changing table and all the latest clothes. But as you know, Billy had priorities for his money and . . . and . . . Oh, damnation!” she said as she turned away to hide her sniffling.

  “I always liked Billy,” Jason said slowly. “He was the life of every party. And he made everyone around him happy.”

  Amy turned around, her eyes bright with tears. “Yes, he did, didn’t he? I led a pretty sheltered childhood, and I didn’t know that the cause of Billy’s forgetfulness and his—” Abruptly, she halted. “Listen to me. My mother-in-law says that I’m so lonely that I’d ask the devil to dinner.” Again she stopped. “I’m not complaining, mind you; Max is all I want in life; it’s just that—”

  “Sometimes you want an adult to talk to,” he said softly, watching her.

  “You’re a good listener, Mr. Wilding. Is that a characteristic of being gay?”

  For a second he blinked at her. “Not that I know of. So, tell me, if you need to get a job to support yourself and you have no skills, what are you going to do? How are you going to support yourself and your son?”

  Amy sat down at the table. “I haven’t a clue. You have any suggestions?”

  “Go back to school.”

  “And who takes care of Max all day? How do I pay someone to take care of him? Besides, I’m much too thick to go to school.”

  Again he smiled. “Somehow I doubt that. Can’t your mother-in-law take care of him?”

  “She has a bridge club, swimming club, at least three gossip clubs, and it takes time to keep that hair of hers.” At that, Amy made motions of a bouffant hairdo.

  “Yes, I do seem to remember that Mildred had a real fetish about her hair.”

  “Religious wars have been fought with less fervor. But, anyway, you’re right, and I have to get a job. I was going for an interview this afternoon.”

  “Doing what?” he asked, and the intensity of his eyes made her look down at the banana she was mashing with a fork.

  “Cleaning houses. Now, don’t look at me like that. It’s good, honorable work.”

  “But does it pay enough for you to hire someone to look after the baby?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m not very good with numbers, and I—”

  “I am very good with numbers,” he said seriously. “I want to see everything. I want your checkbook, your receipts, your list of expenses, whatever. I need to see your income and your outgoing money. Give it all to me and I’ll sort it out.”

  “I’m not sure I should do that,” she said slowly. “Those things are private.”

  “You want to call David and ask him about me? I think he’ll tell you to show me any papers you have.”

  For a moment she studied him. It had been so long since she’d been around an adult, and it seemed like years since she’d been around a man. Billy never cared about finances. If there was money, he spent it; if not, he found a way to persuade someone to lend it to him. “There isn’t much,” she said slowly. “I have a checkbook, but I don’t write many checks, and . . .”

  “Just let me see what you have. You take care of Max, and I’ll deal with the numbers.”

  “Do you always order people around?” she asked softly. “Do you always walk into a person’s life and take it over as if they had no sense and you knew how to do everything in the world?”

  He looked startled. “I guess I do. I hadn’t thought about it before.”

  “I bet you don’t have too many friends.”

  Again he looked startled, and for a moment he studied her as though he’d never seen her before. “Are you always so personal with people?”

  “Oh, yes. It saves time in the long run. It’s better to get to know people as they really are than it is to believe something that isn’t true.”

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