The Awakening Read online

  She reached over to her desk and there lay a new schedule, freshly made out by Taylor. Right now she was supposed to be downstairs wearing her pink-and-white-striped silk that made her look as if she were eight years old and eating two poached eggs and one piece of dry toast.

  She tossed the schedule back on the desk. It seemed so frivolous to stay here studying when so many people needed help. Frivolous, she thought, a word she’d often used to describe Hank.

  “Hank,” she said aloud, trying it on for size. It didn’t seem to suit him. It was too new, too modern, too unromantic. What was the name on his books? She took one out of the bookshelf beside the bed and opened to the copyright page. Dr. Henry Raine Montgomery.

  “Raine,” she whispered. It sounded like a knight of old, a strong, virile man who might fight for the common people. Raine, she thought, Sir Raine. Better yet, Lord Raine.

  She got out of bed, scratching and yawning, and put on a blue suit. It was too dark, too severe for her taste, and she thought that today she might stop by her dressmaker’s and choose a few new pieces of clothing, something Raine, er, ah, Hank might like.

  She went to the bathroom—at the wrong time according to today’s schedule—and on impulse, knocked on the door to the room where her mother spent her days and invited her mother to breakfast. “Father eats about this time. Perhaps we can eat together, just the three of us.”

  “Like we used to, before—” Grace said but broke off. She didn’t need to add, before Taylor came.

  It was a pleasant breakfast, and Amanda didn’t say much as her parents seemed to have hours’ worth to say to each other. Amanda occupied herself with thoughts of last night. Perhaps she’d been hasty in her judgments; maybe Raine—she meant Hank—did want her. Maybe she wasn’t just another woman to him.

  With her mind occupied, she bid her parents goodbye, unaware of how different she seemed with every step. Taylor was waiting for her by the car and she braced herself for the coming argument.

  “I would like to ask you not to go,” he said softly.

  “I’m needed there,” she answered.

  “And you’re needed here.”

  “Here no one knows I’m alive. I stay in my room all day with my books and papers. I’ve hardly seen my own parents in years. Please don’t make this harder for me, Taylor. I want to feel that I’m useful to someone.”

  Taylor put his hands on her upper arms. “You are useful to me,” he said, and there was desperation in his voice.

  Amanda almost said she’d stay with him but the memory of the hungry children stopped her. If she could help them in any way, she was going to do it. “It’s just until the hops are in,” she said. “I want to help see that there is a peaceful unionization.”

  “Unions!” he said, dropping his hands, the pleading look leaving his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Those people want to take the food out of our mouths. They want—”

  “So you beat them to it, is that it? You take their food first, before they can do it to you? Oh, Taylor, come with me. See these people. They aren’t thieves. They’re just—”

  He took a step away from her. “You forget that I’ve run the harvest for eight years with your father. I’ve seen them. They’re filthy—”

  “Good day, Taylor,” she said and walked away from him.

  On the drive into town, her mind seemed to whirl with a thousand conflicting thoughts. So much had happened to her in the last few weeks. Before Dr. Montgomery came she was content and happy, and now everything was confused. She didn’t know if Taylor was her teacher, the man she loved or her enemy. And Dr. Montgomery! Lover? Friend? Teacher? Enemy?

  It was already chaos at the union headquarters. Joe told her the mess was her fault because they’d heard free food was being passed out. He didn’t trust Amanda because she was a Caulden and he let her know it.

  Amanda went up the stairs to the room that she’d shared yesterday with Dr. Montgomery. In spite of telling herself that yesterday meant nothing, her heart was pounding as she reached the doorway.

  The man who’d made love to her last night was holding Reva Eiler in his arms and kissing her.

  It was as if the bottom of Amanda’s world fell out. She had been right about him. She was an experiment to him, nothing more. He’d wanted to see if he could “unionize” her, to see if he could make her stand up for her rights just as he persuaded the workers to stand up for theirs. Perhaps she should have had a translator explaining things to her as they went along. She thought of Taylor with longing. When the hops were in she’d be glad to go back to her schedule and an orderly way of life.

  “Good morning,” she said cheerfully and took her place at her desk. She heard Dr. Montgomery and Reva break apart but she didn’t look at them.

  “Good morning, Amanda,” Hank said softly.

  She didn’t look up. “Dr. Montgomery,” she said curtly, “shall we allow the people in? Or perhaps you’d like to use this room for private meetings? I could go down the hall. Yes, I think I’ll do that.” She started gathering papers.

  “Amanda, please let me explain.”

  She looked at him, and as her eyes locked with his she remembered every caress he’d given her last night, every word he’d spoken. Blood rushed to her face and she looked away. “Explain what, Dr. Montgomery?” She thought she heard him groan. No doubt he was upset at having one of his women see him with another of his women. “Explain these new translations? Explain how I’m to tell the people this is a union and not a soup kitchen? I’ll do my best.”

  “Explain about Reva. She—”

  “Threw herself at you?” Amanda’s eyes blazed. “You poor man. That seems to happen to you a great deal.”

  “Amanda, please, I—”

  She grabbed a letter opener from the desk. “You take one step closer to me and I’ll use this.”

  His eyes were angry now too. Calmly, he reached out, grabbed her wrist and squeezed until the opener fell to the desk. “Have it your way,” he said. “Let’s get busy. We have people waiting.”

  Amanda was glad for the noise, the confusion and all the people. They kept her from remembering last night. Reva kept smiling at her in an infuriating way, and a few times Amanda caught Dr. Montgomery glowering at her but she looked away.

  At one o’clock Hank clamped down on Amanda’s hand and said, “We’re going to lunch.”

  “No, thank you,” Amanda said. “I’m not hungry.”

  “The day you aren’t hungry is the day the world ends. Come with me or I’ll make a scene so bad you’ll never be able to hold your head up in this town again.”

  “I’m not sure I care, if it means being alone with you. Or do we take your other lady friends? Your harem, to be precise.”

  “I’ll carry you,” he threatened.

  Amanda stood and walked out with him but she wouldn’t allow him to touch her. He stopped at his car. “I will not get in that with you,” she said. “No matter what you do to me.”

  He almost smiled. “All right, then, we’ll try the diner.”

  He didn’t speak again until after they were seated and he’d ordered the special for both of them.

  “Thank you,” she said nastily. “I’m accustomed to having my meals chosen for me.”

  “What’s eating you? Is it last night? Or is it this morning? If it’s last night, I—”

  “I’d rather forget that, if you don’t mind.”

  “I’ll never forget it as long as I live,” Hank said softly and started to take Amanda’s hand, but just then the waitress arrived with their food.

  To the utter astonishment of both of them, Amanda burst into tears. The waitress heard and gave Hank a dirty look for whatever he’d done to cause her to cry in public. Embarrassed, Hank grabbed the tray from the waitress’s hand, put their plates of food and drinks on it, took Amanda’s arm and began pulling her toward the back of the restaurant. The kitchen workers looked up in surprise, and Amanda tried her best to keep from crying,