An Angel for Emily Read online

  “Let me take a guess. I lived the life of a recluse, surrounded by books and maybe a cat or two. Once a month I put on a literary tea for elderly ladies so we could discuss the latest bestseller. And I never had young friends because I couldn’t bear to see their children and hear of their happy home lives.”

  Michael didn’t speak for a while, but when he did, it was a barely audible, “Yes.”

  “I can see that. It’s the life I have most feared, what I used to dream would happen to me. And you did that to me twice?”

  “I thought that everything went wrong the first time because I didn’t know what I was doing. But I thought I’d get it right the second time. I thought I’d find a wonderful, caring man for you then I’d nudge you both into the right direction and for once you’d have a happy life on earth.”

  “I think I can guess this one too. You never found a man worthy of me.”

  “Exactly. Who can live up to your goodness?”

  Very slowly, Emily moved away from him and when he looked at her he was startled to see anger in her eyes.

  “You bastard!” she said softly, but there was power in her voice. “I’m not some…some angel,” she spat at him. “I’m a flesh-and-blood woman, not someone to be worshiped but to be loved. I don’t want to be put in a museum and looked at because I’m—ha, ha—‘good.’ I want to live and experience all that life has to offer. I bet I was happier when I was a washerwoman than I was when I was rich and had ladies’ meetings.”

  “Yes, you were,” he said in wonder. “And I never could understand that. I saw to it that you had everything. You had—”

  “I had nothing! Do you hear me? I had absolutely nothing whatever. I had—” Suddenly it was all too much for her and she couldn’t continue. “You’ll never understand. Never. Donald gave me—”

  “I know what he gave you!” Michael half-shouted. “For all that I’m an angel, right now, in this body, I’m first of all a man. Do you think it’s easy for me to see you like this and not touch you? I had one night with you and now I must pay for it for all eternity. But it was worth it. Yes, holding you was worth all the punishment in the world.”

  For a moment Emily stared at him, then she fell into his arms. “Michael, I can’t love you. I can’t. You’re not real. You’ll disappear.”

  Michael held her as though to let her go would end his life. “I know,” he whispered. “It’s the same with me. How can I love a mortal? How can I return home and watch you life after life with…with….” He took a deep breath, then held her at arm’s length. “What if I take away all memory of me?”

  “You can’t do that,” she said, looking into his eyes. “You’ve told me enough that I understand that not even God can erase love. Maybe I won’t remember why I feel so empty but I’ll always know that there’s something missing. Am I right?”

  He took a moment before answering. “Yes. You cannot forget love, whether it’s love for a human or love for God.”

  “I don’t miss Donald, but I miss you when you so much as go into another room. I was angry at you for leaving me alone after we made love.”

  “I know. I didn’t want to leave but I was…taken. My spirit and my body were moved elsewhere.”

  She put her head against his shoulder. “We shouldn’t have done what we did and I’ve tried hard to forget it ever happened, but I can’t. I’m afraid, afraid of being alone after you leave.”

  “Emily, you will never be alone, you never have been, never will be.”

  She looked up at him. “It won’t be the same if you don’t have a body.”

  “I know. I’ll be able to see you but you’ll be unable to see or hear me. And you may be unable to remember me at all.” For a moment he held her, then he pulled away to look into her eyes. “All right, Emily, my love, we have two choices. One is that we can cry in our soup or—”

  “Beer. Cry in our beer.”

  “Good. I like beer more than soup,” he answered then grinned at the smile he got from her. “Anyway, we can cry over what is going to happen to us, because, make no mistake about it, we are going to be separated. Or we can live for the moment and try our best even though we know that tomorrow may bring bad news.”

  “I see,” Emily said, pulling away from him. “By that I take it you mean that we should spend every minute you have on earth making love and being with each other.”

  “Exactly,” he said brightly, smiling in delight. “Precisely.”

  “You are a man, aren’t you? Angel or not, you are definitely a man!” She spat the last word at him as though it were something vile and loathsome.

  Michael looked at her in bewilderment. “Your thoughts are too confused for me to read.”

  “You poor thing,” she said, moving away from him. “I am one hundred percent on Adrian’s side. You are indeed the worst angel in Heaven. I don’t even know how you got to be an angel. You tell me that I’m bad at choosing men, but even I can see through what you are trying to do.”

  Michael’s face was a study in confusion as he was obviously trying to figure out what she was talking about. “What have I done?”

  “You got me away from Donald just for your own purposes, didn’t you? And you let me rot without male attention for two lifetimes, also for your own selfish purposes, didn’t you?”

  “I, uh, well, maybe I was a bit selfish, but I was trying to protect you.”

  “Oh? And are you trying to protect me now when you’re being so damned nice to me?”

  “I wasn’t trying to do anything bad,” he said in confusion. “I—”

  “That’s just it, isn’t it? You come here and you’re nice to someone who you know is the world’s worst judge of men, then you’re so blasted nice to me that I fall head-over-heels in love with you and then what? I ask you, then what?”

  “I….” Michael scratched his head. “I don’t seem to follow your logic.”

  “Well, good! I’m sick of being told what I am by you men. Sick of it! Do you hear me? Sick!”

  “So what do you want me to do?”

  “Find me a man, of course. I don’t want to live alone. I want a house in the country and I want at least three children. You’re an angel and you can see into people’s hearts so you find me a man before you leave.”

  “But we have to find out who’s trying to kill you.”

  “I see. You have the time to do that but not to do something good for me, is that it?”

  “Emily, I seem to have lost my intelligence. I can’t figure out why you’re angry at me. I am thoroughly confused.”

  “It’s very simple. You came to earth and ruined the life I chose. Maybe in your eyes it wasn’t a good life but it was a life. But, now, thanks to you, I have nothing. I am two-thirds in love with an angel who is going to leave this earth and may or may not take away my memory of him when he goes, and I live in a tiny commuter town where I see very few men and meet even fewer. Being a small-town librarian doesn’t open a lot of doors, does it?”

  Emily almost felt sorry for Michael as his handsome face became a glower of concentration as he thought about what she was saying. But Emily was tired of being told she was a doormat, tired of what seemed to be centuries of falling in love with the wrong man. She had no doubt that she was in love with Michael and she didn’t want to examine that too closely, but, by golly, sometimes a person needed to be selfish! Maybe it was wonderful that an angel had come to earth to save her life, but what kind of life was it going to be if she spent the rest of it alive but pining away for some man who she might not even remember?

  “Well?” Emily said and was surprised by the strength in her voice. Her mother had taught her to be nice at all times, but right now being selfish felt amazingly good. She was going to use an angel for her own selfish purposes. “Can you find a good man for me or not?”

  “I guess so,” he said quietly. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Apparently I usually prefer drunkards and men who marry me to give dinner parties, remember?