Wishes Read online

  With a shaking hand Nellie knocked on the door of Jace’s hotel room. Her heart was in her throat as she planned what she’d say to him.

  He opened the door, his face full of sadness, but when he looked at her the sadness left and was replaced with anger. “Come to say goodbye?” he asked, then he walked away from her. He was packing.

  “I came to apologize,” she said, stepping into the room. “You were right about everything. I was totally wrong.”

  “Oh?” he said, putting shirts into his case. “Wrong about anything specific?”

  “This morning a girl brought your letters to me. It seems her aunt lied to the postmaster’s son, and the letters were given to the aunt rather than being delivered to me.”

  “How interesting,” he said, but there was no interest in his voice.

  “And this morning Mae came to tell me that she and her friends had lied. You didn’t try to…to kiss them.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he said, turning for a moment to glare at her.

  Nellie took a breath. “I came to apologize for all I said and even for what I thought.”

  He walked toward her, and Nellie’s heart almost stopped, but he just kept walking toward the bureau to get his razor. “So now what am I supposed to do? Say that everything is fine? Forgive you for everything and start all over again?”

  “I don’t know,” she said softly. “I only know that I love you.”

  He paused for a moment, his hands on the clothes in his case. “I’ve loved you, too, Nellie. I’ve loved you from the first day, but I’m not strong enough to fight your family. You believe everything they tell you. I don’t want to spend my life fighting for a piece of you.”

  “I didn’t know,” she said. “I didn’t know about the letters.”

  He turned to look at her. “And you didn’t know about Warbrooke Shipping either, did you? Tell me did your father put you up to coming here? Or did you make a pledge with your greedy little sister? If you get Warbrooke Shipping you’ll give them—What? A hundred dresses a year for Terel, new freight wagons for your father?”

  Aunt Berni had said to grovel if she must, but Nellie couldn’t bear any more of this. “My family has only wanted what’s best for me. They did not want me to marry a man who left town without leaving a message, or one who courted many women at once. There was no proof that you had sent letters or that you hadn’t—”

  “Kissed all the girls?” he said angrily. “There was proof. There was my word. You should have believed me. You should—”

  “Yes, I should have,” Nellie said, fighting tears. “But I didn’t. I’m not much of a fighter, Mr. Montgomery. I just wanted to do what was right for everyone concerned, and it looks as though I’ve’ failed. I apologize for inconveniencing you.”

  “Your apology is accepted,” he said tightly. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have a train to catch.”

  There was a knot rising in Nellie’s throat, a knot that threatened to choke her. She couldn’t speak. She just nodded then and left the room, walking down the stairs and out of the hotel. She walked home, but she wasn’t aware of moving. As surely as though she’d been killed, she knew her life was over.

  Berni sat in the kitchen, still reading People magazines, when she heard the front door open. She expected Nellie, her handsome hero on her arm, to come running into the kitchen. Instead, Berni heard Nellie’s heavy footsteps going up the stairs.

  “Now what?” she mumbled. “Antony and Cleopatra didn’t have this much trouble.” She snapped the magazines and mocha and chocolates away and went upstairs. Nellie was prostrate on the bed. She looked about two inches away from suicide.

  “So tell me,” Berni said, licking her fingers.

  Nellie didn’t answer, so Berni wiggled her ears.

  “He says I should have believed him,” Nellie whispered.

  “Ah, men like blind obedience. Nellie, let me give you a little advice from somebody who’s known a few men. I don’t know if you’ve heard this or not, but there’s a saying that man’s best friend is a dog and that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Man’s best friend is a dog because that’s what he wants a woman to be: a dog. He wants a pretty little wife, preferably blonde, who will do whatever he wants, when he wants it. He wants to be able to say, ‘Come on, let’s go,’ and she’ll get up, tail a-waggin’, and follow him. He doesn’t want her to ask questions about where or when or how, and he does not want her to have an opinion.

  “For a woman, she’s found out that she can trust something like diamonds because they don’t run around at night, nor do they constantly point out how she should behave.”

  These words seemed to have no effect on Nellie, so Berni continued. “Don’t you understand? You weren’t his best friend.”

  “I have other responsibilities.”

  “Yes, of course you do, but you’re trying to talk logic to a man who’s in love. Being in love is enough of an alien emotion to a man; you can’t try to introduce logic to him, too.” Berni looked down at Nellie, who was softly crying into her pillow, and knew she was making no sense to her. The first time a woman fell in love she was so full of hope, so full of the belief that if she could just get this guy then everything in her whole life was going to be fixed, that never again would she be angry or lonely or would her skin break out. Love was going to solve problem. Berni knew it was no use trying to tell Nellie a few truths. Truth had nothing to do with love.

  “All right,” Berni said, sighing. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out. Maybe it’s best to forget him.”

  “I’ll never be able to forget him. He has been so good to me, and I have treated him very badly. Now he hates me, and I deserve it.”

  Berni wanted to tell Nellie about sex, wanted to tell her to use her beauty and sexiness to capture Jace, but she knew Nellie would never understand. Nellie had no idea how to go about taking what she wanted.

  This morning, after she’d sent Nellie off to see Jace, she’d thought her job was over, but she’d underestimated how hurt Jace was. It was time for Plan Two. She closed her eyes and did a little wishing and rearranging of people.

  “Nellie, what you need is to get your mind off this man. Reverend Thomas stopped by and asked you to run an errand for him.”

  “I can’t,” Nellie said into the pillow. “I have to see to my family.”

  “Oh, your father and Terel have already left the house.”

  Nellie turned to look at Berni. “Left? But they have guests coming today. I have to prepare the food.”

  “Not today. They’ll be gone all day, so you’re free.”

  Nellie sniffed. It wasn’t like her family to leave unexpectedly. “Where did they go?”

  “To Denver. Your father received a telegram saying his investors wanted to meet with him in Denver today, so he went up there. And Terel went with him.”

  “Terel went with Father to a business meeting?”

  “Hard to believe, isn’t it? But that’s what she said, that she wanted to help her father with his clients. Between you and me, I think this had something to do with it.” From behind her back Berni pulled a Denver newspaper. “Look on page six.”

  Nellie sniffed and sat up, took the newspaper, and opened it. “ ‘Christmas Eve special,’ ” she read. “ ‘Every clothing item in every store in Denver is on half-price sale today only.’ ” She looked at Berni. “Every store?”

  “All of them, so I guess that makes you free for the day. How about going to see Mr. Montgomery again?”

  The tears started anew. “I couldn’t. He…he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

  Berni sighed. “Unfortunately, you’re probably right. So maybe you ought to spend the day doing whatever the preacher wants you to do.”

  “I don’t think I feel up to seeing anyone. I think I’d just like to stay in my room today.”

  “Of course. I understand. Broken hearts take a long time to mend. Besides, those kids don’t need anybody. They’ll be fine. Maybe after Christmas someon