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Graydon frowned as he seemed to be trying to figure out what had triggered this outburst. “Lorcan should not have told you of my dislike of the Ulten cheese. It was not her place.”
Toby made her hands into fists. “That isn’t about cheese. That woman was letting me know that you belong to her.”
Graydon looked shocked. “Lorcan and I have never—”
Toby threw up her hands. “How can men be so dumb? How are you able to dress yourselves when you have no brains at all?”
Graydon’s eyes widened.
Letting out her breath, Toby unclenched her fists. “Has a woman ever yelled at you before?”
“No,” he said. “And may I say that I find it quite confusing? I have tried to be courteous at all times. I have had a few lapses in decorum. You in your …” He motioned up and down with his hand. “I should not have stayed in the room with you when you were so scantily attired, but I could not make myself leave.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” She wiped away the tears. She no longer felt like crying. Now only anger ran through her. “Is Daire married?” she asked abruptly.
“No, he is not.”
“I just wondered because he let me know that if I’m willing, he is. Right now, I’m thinking that I’ll take him up on his offer.” With that, she went to the door and stepped into the old bedroom.
Graydon caught her by the arm. His face was fierce. If she didn’t know him she would have been frightened. “You will not bed my man.”
She glared at him. “The last I heard, I have free will.” She jerked away from his grasp, took a step forward, then looked back. “You want to know a truth about me?” She didn’t give him time to reply. “I’m not a virgin because I’m ‘saving myself for marriage.’ That was something I said because it’s fashionable. The truth is that no man has ever made me feel that passion I read about. When I was in college the girls would come in with their clothes on backward, then giggle about it. But I didn’t! Never once was I tempted by any of those boys. But when Daire looked at me, I did consider it. But then I realized that since you’re just a shorter, paler version of him, it was really you who I wanted, but—” She threw up her hands. “Oh, what does it matter? It’s not like you have any interest in me.” Turning, she started for the stairs down.
“Is that what this is about?” Graydon said from behind her. “You think I don’t desire you?”
She looked back at him, glaring. “Of course it isn’t. You’re engaged to someone else. Or you almost are. You’re going to marry someone who I bet is an overly tall woman with black eyes who would look down her nose at a washed-out blonde like me. I bet she can fight with a lance or any other weapon. Hey! Nantucket has a harpoon-throwing contest, so maybe Lorcan and your beloved Danna could enter. I’m sure they’d win.”
Toby ran down the stairs and he caught her at the bottom, his hands on her shoulders. “Let me go!”
But he didn’t release her. He put his face close to hers. “How can you not know?” he said, his eyes nearly as angry as hers. “How can you not feel what I go through every day with you? To be so near you yet not be allowed to touch you tears me apart. I lie awake at night, in the room so close to yours, and dream of going to you, of slipping into bed with you and pulling you into my arms.”
“But you’ve never said or done anything to make me think that’s true.”
“I dream of kissing your neck.” His eyes seemed to turn to black coals and every spark showed his desire for her. As his fingertips cut into her upper arms, she saw a different man from the one who laughed so easily. This man didn’t seem to laugh about anything. This man looked like one of his Lanconian warrior ancestors.
He pulled Toby against his hard chest, not gently but with force. “In the morning I lean over you so I can smell your hair. Just one soft whiff is all I ask.”
“Graydon,” she whispered, but he didn’t let her speak.
“I have seen women of all nationalities, all shapes and sizes, but I have never desired any of them as I do you.” His voice was more of a growl than a human sound. “I have wanted to touch you, caress you, make love to you, since the first day.”
Toby was blinking up at him, her eyes wide. He was making her feel as she’d never felt before. For the first time in her life she was experiencing what other girls did, what made them sigh and giggle—and it felt glorious! Powerful, really. Never in her life had she felt … well, so very pleased to be a woman.
It was tempting, like original-sin tempting, to hold her lips up to his and … Then what? They’d go at it on the floor?
With a bit of an inner smile of triumph, she pushed him away—and it took more than a little force. There, at last, was that look in his eyes that she’d wanted to see. Heat radiated from him like fire, drawing her to him. He made Daire seem like a boy. At this moment she could see how Graydon’s ancestors had won the kingship.
“No,” she said softly. “I’m not going to give in to you. You’re as good as a married man.”
Graydon fell back against the big newel post. “You thought I didn’t desire you and I showed you that I do, but now you’re saying no?”
“Yes, that’s right. But at least now I know where I stand with you and what all this is about. I’ll tell you something, Graydon Montgomery, I am not going to fall in love with you.” She flung the front door open, then stood back and looked at him, waiting for him to leave.
He looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t think of exactly what. Mostly, he looked bewildered.
It took a great deal of discipline on her part, but Toby didn’t comfort him. He’d hidden his true feelings for her since they’d met, which made her very angry. And now that he’d revealed himself he seemed to think she’d give in to him instantly.
No, she valued herself a great deal more than that! Graydon put his hands in his pockets and left the house.
As soon as Graydon was outside, Toby slipped on the rain-soaked marble floor and hit her head on the edge of the door. She caught herself before she reached the floor, and for a moment she stood there, watching Graydon walk down the path toward the lane. Never before had she seen his shoulders slumped, but they were now. The rain was pounding down on him but he seemed oblivious to it.
She watched him until he crossed the road and went inside her house. Part of her hoped he’d turn and look back and see her standing there, but he didn’t.
She closed the front door and leaned against it for a moment. It was going to take a while for the anger inside her to calm down. And she needed to think about everything in her life right now. One thing she knew for sure was that if she had any sense she’d tell all the Lanconians to leave, and this included the almost-married Graydon. Kingsley House was free of guests now so maybe they could stay there.
But she needed time to figure out what to do. A flash of lightning momentarily illuminated the entryway and she looked at the two doorways that led into the rooms. As had happened upstairs, she knew which door to go through. Inside the door on the right was a large room with a big fireplace along one wall. Beside it was a cabinet door. “It’s been built over the old oven,” she said aloud, then frowned. Obviously, she’d been going on too many of the old house tours on Nantucket.
At the back was another door and she went to it. Inside was a small room with a little fireplace along one wall.
Suddenly, she felt dizzy, and when she put her hand to her head, it felt wet. Another burst of lightning showed blood on her fingertips. When she slipped she must have cut her head. She knew she should go home and bandage it, but the thought of confronting Graydon right now made her hesitate. She needed to consider all aspects of this situation. What happened after what had been revealed between them? Was their friendship over? In the coming weeks should she do what Lexie had advised and have a rip-roaring good time in bed with Graydon—even though she now had an idea of the pain she’d feel when he left? And besides, would they carry on this affair with the flirting Daire and sneeri