Sing You Home: A Novel Read online

  “Oh yeah?” Angela asks. “When’s the last time you talked to him?”

  “Objection,” Wade says. “I won’t let her mock my witness.”

  “Sustained . . . watch yourself, Counselor.”

  “You said you’ve known Max for half a year, Pastor?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’ve never met Zoe Baxter—you’ve only just seen her in this courtroom, correct?”

  “That’s right.”

  “You have no information about them when they were a married couple?”

  “No. They were not members of my church at the time.”

  “I see,” Angela says. “But you do know Reid and Liddy Baxter quite well?”

  “Yes.”

  “You had no trouble coming into this court and saying that, in your opinion, they are the preferred custodial couple for these embryos.”

  “Yes,” Pastor Clive says.

  “You have a professional relationship with Reid Baxter, too, right?”

  “He manages the church’s funds.”

  “He’s also one of the biggest contributors to your church, isn’t he?”

  “Yes. Reid’s always been very generous.”

  “In fact, your church recommends tithing income for its members, doesn’t it?”

  “Many churches do that . . .”

  “Isn’t it true that you receive a grand total of about four hundred thousand dollars a year from your friend Reid Baxter annually?”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “And coincidentally, here you are today recommending that he be awarded custody of these embryos, correct?”

  “Reid’s generosity to the church has nothing to do with my recommendation—”

  “Oh, I’ll bet,” Angela Moretti says. “When you spoke with Max about his ex-wife’s request to have custody of the embryos, you were the one who in fact suggested that he consider Reid and Liddy as potential parents, weren’t you?”

  “I opened his mind to the possibility.”

  “And you even went a step further, didn’t you—by finding him an attorney?”

  Pastor Clive nods. “I would have done the same for any member of my congregation . . .”

  “In fact, Pastor, you didn’t just find Max a lawyer. You found him the biggest hotshot attorney in the United States with a reputation for protecting the rights of the pre-born, right?”

  “I can’t help it if Max’s predicament attracted the attention of someone so prestigious.”

  “Mr. Lincoln, you stated that the purpose of marriage is to procreate?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does the Bible have anything to say about heterosexual couples who are unable to have children?”

  “No.”

  “What about heterosexual couples too old to have children?”

  “No—”

  “How about people who remain single? Does the Bible condemn them as unnatural?”

  “No.”

  “Even though, by your own logic, they are not procreating?”

  “Plenty of other passages in the Bible condemn homosexuality,” Pastor Clive says.

  “Ah, yes. That lovely bit you read from Leviticus. Are you aware, Mr. Lincoln, that Leviticus is a holiness code that was written over three thousand years ago?”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Do you know that holiness codes had a very specific purpose? That they weren’t commandments but prohibitions of behaviors that people of faith would find offensive at a certain time and place? Are you aware, Pastor, that in the case of Leviticus, the code was written for priests in Israel only, and meant to hold them more accountable than priests from other countries, like Greece?”

  “It’s quite clear what’s right and wrong when you read that passage. And you may try to explain it away historically, but it’s still morally relevant today.”

  “Really. Did you know that, in Leviticus, there were many other prohibitions listed? For example, there’s one against wild haircuts, did you know that?”

  “Well—”

  “And one against tattoos.” She smiles. “I’ve got one myself, but I’m not gonna tell you where.” The lawyer walks toward Pastor Clive. “Is that a silk tie against a cotton shirt? Did you know that there’s another prohibition against wearing garments made of mixed fabric?”

  “I fail to see how—”

  “And hey, there’s another one saying you shouldn’t eat pork or shellfish. You like shrimp scampi, Pastor?”

  “This isn’t—”

  “There’s another prohibition against getting your fortune told. And how about football? You like football, right? I mean, who doesn’t? Well, there’s a prohibition against playing with the skin of a pig. Wouldn’t you agree, Pastor, that many of those prohibitions are indeed historically outdated?”

  “Objection,” Wade says. “Counsel is testifying!”

  The judge tilts his head. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, Mr. Preston. Overruled.”

  “The Bible is many things to many people, but it is not a sex manual, correct?”

  “Of course not!”

  “Then why on earth would you turn to it for recommendations about appropriate sexual activity?”

  Pastor Clive faces the lawyer. “I look to the Bible for everything, Ms. Moretti. Even examples of sexual deviance.”

  “What does it have to say about butt plugs?”

  Wade rises. “Objection!”

  “Really, Ms. Moretti?” the judge says, scowling.

  “Should we assume then that there might be things not mentioned in the Bible that are still sexually deviant?”

  “It’s entirely possible,” Pastor Clive says. “The Bible is just a general outline.”

  “But the ones that are mentioned in the Bible as being sexually deviant—that, in your opinion, is God’s word? Completely and utterly inviolable?”

  “That’s right.”

  Angela Moretti picks a Bible off the defense table that has been littered with Post-it notes. “Are you familiar with Deuteronomy 22:20–21?” she asks. “Could you read this out loud to the court?”

  Pastor Clive’s voice rings through the room. “If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.”

  “Thank you, Pastor. Can you explain the passage?”

  He purses his lips. “It advocates stoning a woman who isn’t a virgin at the time of marriage.”

  “Is that something you’d advise your flock to do?” Before he can answer, she asks him another question. “How about Mark 10:1–12? Those passages forbid divorce. Do you have any members of your congregation who are divorced? Oh, wait—of course you do. Max Baxter.”

  “God forgives sinners,” Pastor Clive says. “He welcomes them back into His fold.”

  Angela flips through her Bible again. “How about Mark 12:18–23? If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have sex with each of his brothers in turn until she bears her deceased husband a male heir. Is that what you tell grieving widows?”

  I hate myself for it, but I think of Liddy again.

  “Objection!”

  “Or Deuteronomy 25:11–12? If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them tries to rescue her husband by grabbing his enemy’s genitals, her hand should be cut off and no pity should be shown to her—”

  Seriously? I had joined an adult Bible study at Reid’s suggestion, but we never read anything as juicy as that.

  “Objection!” Wade smacks the table with his open hand.

  The judge raises his voice. “Ms. Moretti, I will hold you in contempt if you—”

  “Fine. I’ll withdraw that last one. But you must admit, Pastor, that not every decree in the Bible makes sense in this day and age.”

  “Only because you’re taking the verses out of historical context—”

  “Mr. Lincoln,” Angela Moretti say