The Detective’s Undoing Read online

  He didn’t want a home, not ever again. It was bad enough he’d been stuck out on the ranch for as long as he had with his case. No, what he needed was to get out, to be free without any restraints, and he needed this with a violent urgency he nearly couldn’t contain.

  He had other cases, he reminded himself. Plenty of them. And all along, when the coziness and warmth of the Triple M had gotten too much for him, when it reminded him of things better left in his past, he’d used those cases to run.

  But he’d always come back.

  He was going to have to remedy that.

  Easier said than done, because that night, when he could have been working or reading or even sleeping, he lay in bed in his lonely hotel room and studied the ceiling. Thinking.

  Yearning. Aching.

  Watching Delia tonight had been heartbreaking.

  Jacob was a small kid, but with eyes as sharp as a tack. He didn’t miss much, and certainly not the fact that Delia was trying to please both him and Scott.

  Jacob had weaseled a shocking amount of quarters out of her, then managed to snub her when she offered to play some of the games with him, instead choosing Scott, who’d looked delighted at the invitation.

  Unintentional or not, Scott hadn’t helped matters any, because his mere presence made it easy for Jacob to ignore Delia.

  Cade figured all Jacob needed was to be told Delia was his sister and that was that. Family was family. The kid was decent, but he was wary and afraid, almost as if he needed to give himself permission to accept Delia.

  Cade had wanted to do that for her, to slam his hands on the table and tell Jacob to listen up and face facts. He’d wanted…to act like a father.

  Wasn’t that a joke. He’d had his one shot at being a father, a husband, too. His family had loved him in spite of all his faults, and he’d returned that love with all his unscarred heart. But he’d failed them, and because of that, had caused their deaths, no matter how inadvertently.

  Wouldn’t everyone who knew him now be shocked to know that? Shocked to know he did everything in his power to not think about it? That he used his job to hide from his past?

  Yeah, maybe thinking about the hauntingly beautiful Delia helped a little, helped him forget his weaknesses, but he didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve a second shot at happiness.

  Ever.

  Chapter 5

  “The house looks perfect, Delia. You really outdid yourself.” Maddie smiled as she came into the front room, which would serve as the living room and reception area for their guests.

  Delia looked around at the old but polished wood floors, at the antique furniture they’d hauled down from the attic and cleaned, at the huge picture windows that so perfectly showcased the mountains in the distance.

  “I didn’t get that highest window clean enough,” Delia murmured, seeing a smudge nearly twelve feet up, close to the open-beam ceilings. “I just need to get a ladder and—”

  “And nothing,” Maddie said firmly, coming closer. “Honey, you’ve been working for two days solid, ten hours a day, ever since you got back from L.A. You can’t keep up this pace. You’re going to get sick.”

  “Hard work never hurt anyone. But that window—”

  “Is far more fine than you. You’re exhausted.”

  “I’m just going to—”

  “Take a break,” Maddie said smoothly, snatching Delia’s rag from her hand. “You’re going to take a break and tell me what’s going on, what’s hurting you inside so much that you’re working yourself to death.”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  Maddie didn’t back down, just kept her caring gaze steadily on Delia. “I thought you said it went fine with Jacob.”

  Delia tried to draw a steady breath and couldn’t, nor could she find her calm. She’d been holding back for days now, and it was killing her.

  God help her, she’d actually lied to her sisters. She already felt so useless to the ranch. So unnecessary. The shame of failing with her brother had been too much to bear, so instead of telling them the truth—that Jacob had been less than thrilled with the thought of having her as a sister or moving to Idaho—she’d been noncommittal about the entire trip.

  And Cade. She’d been noncommittal about him, too.

  Maddie was looking at her much as a worried mom would a wayward child, which never failed to make the usually cool-as-a-cucumber Delia squirm. No one, certainly not she or Zoe, could ever hold up against that stare.

  Which was funny because Maddie was a small woman, with the delicate features of a porcelain doll. But she wasn’t nearly as frail as she looked, not even close. After twenty years together, Delia thought, she should know.

  When they’d been young, Maddie hadn’t been able to speak at first. No one knew what had caused this trauma, and Delia and Zoe didn’t know to this day, only that she’d come from some horrible situation. But with Delia and Zoe watching out for her, eventually Maddie had learned to both speak and smile and even laugh.

  Now, years later, Delia was convinced Maddie was the strongest of all three of them. So strong that Delia could come clean and sob out all her woes, but she didn’t. She held back with an effort that had her at the end of her rope. But she had to, had to be strong to get through this.

  Eyes narrowed in deep concern, Maddie came closer while Delia tried to act tough.

  “I’m not going to stand by and let you keep your hurts to yourself,” Maddie told her gently. “Share.”

  “Maddie.” Delia managed a laugh. “Come on. We have guests coming tomorrow. We have Zoe’s wedding in three weeks. There’s a million things we need to be doing, not to mention the wedding dress and two bridesmaid dresses I’m still working on, all by myself I might add, since the two of you are so pathetic with a needle and thread, and none of it involves spilling my guts—”

  Maddie reached out and hugged her tightly.

  Delia nearly cracked. While she returned the hug, soothed by Maddie’s warm arms, she fought for control. And just barely found it.

  “Always so strong,” Maddie murmured, stroking Delia’s hair. “So independent. It’s okay to need someone, Delia. To ask for help. Maybe you’ll feel better.”

  Help. She had always had a problem asking, mostly because she had learned at an early age that asking meant showing weakness, and showing weakness left her vulnerable.

  But this was Maddie, her sister, and one of the two people in the world who loved her unconditionally. She could ask for anything and nothing would be refused.

  And wasn’t that the problem? The same thought continued to haunt her. How could she put her brother’s needs before her sister’s? She had no right to ask anyone to give up their dream for hers, no right at all.

  “Jacob is okay, right?” Maddie asked

  “Yes, he’s…fine.” He hates me, but he’s fine.

  “And the custody hearing is still on. The judge is still considering you?”

  “Yes.” Until he looks at my background, combines that with the utter lack of financial security. Not to mention Scott, whom I didn’t exactly bowl over with my winning personality.

  “Well, I, for one, can’t wait to get him here and mother him to death.” Maddie’s smile was soft and full of affection as she pulled back. “He’s going to have all the family he ever wanted. It’s going to be perfect.”

  “It is.” She hoped.

  But Maddie wasn’t done fretting. “You’re not nervous about the guests?”

  “No.” Delia did smile at that, for this was one thing she was looking forward to. It would certainly keep both her mind and body busy. “But those windows are stressing me out, so—”

  “It’s Cade, isn’t it?”

  Delia dropped the bottle of cleaner. Slowly she retrieved it. It took some effort to make sure her voice, when she replied, would be steady, because just hearing his name evoked all sorts of images, mostly being held in those big warm arms and receiving a kiss that days later could still make her knees wobble. “What does