Rumor Has It Read online

  He inhaled sharply and then reached out and snagged her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I have to go.”

  “Because I’m not important enough to be the reason for you to stay?”

  “You’re important,” he said tightly, whipping her around to face him. “You’re so damn important to me that I’m actually not sure I can take it.”

  “You were taking it just fine,” she managed to point out.

  “Because I thought I knew who I was.”

  “You still know.”

  He was already shaking his head. “No, I don’t. And I’m done here in Sunshine.”

  “You mean you’re done with us.”

  He stared at her. “Us?”

  “Yes. I actually thought you had real feelings for me.”

  “I do have real feelings for you,” he said. “But I have things to take care of. I have a life to lead. And that life isn’t here.”

  “Why, because you’re not Donald Reid’s blood?” she asked. “What does that matter? This is your home.”

  “No,” he said with terrifying stillness. “It’s not. I don’t belong here. I never did.”

  She stared at him, at the absolute, resolute determination on his face, and she knew she was talking to a brick wall. A brick wall that had just broken her heart. “So. DC?”

  “Teaching and training,” he said curtly.

  “Just like that.”

  “I’ve been entertaining offers since I got here, you knew that. Just as you knew I was here for two weeks max, that we could never have been more than a two-week thing.”

  Bullshit. Such bullshit. “So this is it, then?” she asked. “We’re . . . done?”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw, nothing more.

  She stepped close and put a hand on his chest to feel his heart beating steady and sure beneath her palm, which was reassuring, because for a moment she’d thought maybe he’d turned to stone. “I’m in love with you, Griffin.”

  He closed his eyes.

  “What?” she said quietly. “Do you not want to hear me say it, or do you not want me to feel it?”

  “I have nothing to offer you,” he said just as quietly. “I’m a soldier, or I was. Now I’m . . . hell. I have no idea, but it’s nothing much.”

  “You offer me the same things you’ve always offered me,” she said. “No one but you has ever taken me outside all the daily grind and responsibility. You make me more than a teacher or a sister. You make me feel sexy and fun. Griffin, when I’m with you, the rest of the world just drops away. It has nothing to do with the fact that you could be dropped anywhere in the world and find the explosives or that you can make a shelter out of nothing. You have value outside of being a soldier. So much.”

  He was already shaking his head. “Kate—”

  “No, please. Please, don’t,” she said. “I don’t want excuses about why you can’t love me. I’ve probably heard it all before.”

  She started to leave, but he caught her at the door, pinning her between the hard wood and his even harder body. He stood with his chest to her back, a hand holding the door closed on either side of her head. “I love you too, Kate.”

  Her heart stopped.

  “I love you so goddamn much it hurts,” he said.

  This had her heart starting again, at full speed, thundering in her ears. Don’t overreact, she told herself. His declaration had clearly been made under extreme emotional duress. On a normal day he’d never have admitted it to her, and she knew it. “But?” she managed. “Because I definitely sense a but at the end of that sentence.” She paused, but he didn’t say a word, and it hit her so hard that she could only spin to stare at him in shock for a long moment. “I just figured it out,” she whispered. “The difference between us.”

  He just looked at her.

  “Yeah, you give off this badass, adventurous vibe,” she said. “Like you’re up for anything. But you’re not.”

  “Kate—”

  “No, it’s true. You’re only adventurous physically. But not with your heart. That’s me,” she said. “I’m the adventurous one.” God, who’d have thought it? “I’m the one,” she repeated, rubbing her aching chest. “Because I’ll follow my heart anywhere.” She sniffed. “I’d follow it to DC if that’s what worked. I’d do whatever it took.”

  There was a beat of stunned silence, and she had no idea who was more shocked, herself or Griffin.

  “Kate,” he finally said, sounding raw to the bone. “Your life is here. You love it here. You’re going to get your master’s and then come back and get married and have kids and a great life. Right here in Sunshine.”

  “First,” she said fiercely, finding her mad. “You don’t get to tell me what I’m going to have. And second, I don’t necessarily dream of children and a white picket fence.” She paused, waiting for him to look at her. “But I dream of you, Griffin.”

  He opened his mouth and then shut it. Apparently, she’d rendered him speechless.

  “I don’t want you to plan your life around me,” he finally said.

  She’d argue that he was worth it, but there was no point. She couldn’t make him want this. And even more important, she couldn’t take this thing with him backward. She couldn’t go from what they’d had these past two weeks, with the crazy need, the lazy lovemaking in the middle of the night when he’d spent hours worshipping every inch of her, back to boundaries and bare-minimum contact. She couldn’t pretend to be okay when she knew there was more. He’d ruined her for other men, damn him. “Explain one thing to me,” she said. “Explain how you not being Donald Reid’s blood is chasing you out of here, out of Sunshine, when you’d decided to stay.”

  “I told you. I don’t belong here now.”

  “That’s just dumb. Sunshine’s still your hometown. Nothing changes that. Not even blood.”

  He let out a low laugh, utterly without mirth. “Even the fucking name of the town . . .” he muttered, and scrubbed a hand over his head. “Look, you love it here,” he said. “You love to cook and feed your family and teach the kids, and you’re . . . hell, Kate. You are Sunshine. But not me. I was wrong before. I can’t . . . I don’t fit into this cozy little world; it’s not me. It’s not my perfect little world like it is yours.”

  She stared at him. “There is something seriously wrong with you if you think my life is perfect.”

  “You have a family who loves and adores you.”

  “You think Donald doesn’t love you?”

  He shrugged. “I thought I could come here and make it right. But I’m not his son. I’ll never be his son.”

  “Griffin . . . look at who you’ve become. You’re brave and strong and giving and heroic . . . You’re the best person I know. So does it really matter who provided the one-in-a-million sperm that hit the egg?”

  He stared at her for a long beat during which time she allowed herself a kernel of hope because she could see things in his gaze. Affection. Need. Even love.

  But then that all vanished, and his expression went blank. The soldier’s expression. “This wasn’t my intention,” he said. “Falling for you.”

  “No?” she asked. “What was your intention?”

  He didn’t answer her directly. “I got carried away in the moment. You were so . . . open and warm and—”

  “Oh my God. If you say sweet,” she warned.

  A very small smile curved his mouth. “Hot. Smart. Irresistible.” His smile made its way to his eyes. “A pain in my ass.” He held her gaze. “You’re dangerous to me, Kate.”

  He was a demolitions expert, and he thought she was dangerous. It was a bitter pill, even though she knew exactly what he meant.

  She was dangerous to his heart.

  Well, join the club, she thought.

  “I have to do this,” he said. “I have a flight out tomorrow.”

  “So this is good-bye, then,” she said with far more calm than she felt. Stupid man . . .

  “We’ll see each other,” he said.

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