Still the One Read online

  “Ugh,” Xander said, and stood up, swiping at his face like he’d been exposed to the plague. “Seriously? Gross.”

  Tyson nodded in approval at the dog. “Nice,” he said. “What else you got?”

  Raisin lay down, rolled over, and closed her eyes, playing dead.

  “Huh. Not bad,” Tyson said. “But can you bring in the chicks?”

  Raisin got back to her feet and leaned against Darcy.

  Tyson smiled, actually smiled, and Darcy was pretty sure it was the first smile she’d ever seen out of him. “Wow,” she said. “Your mouth does curve up at the ends.”

  “Jesus,” Xander said. “Why do you always have to poke at the bear?”

  Tyson met Darcy’s gaze, his eyes not quite as cold as they’d been. “And look at that, you’re not always a bitch.”

  “Tyson,” Xander said in a low warning voice.

  “It’s okay,” Darcy said to Xander, eyes still on Tyson. “He’s right. I’m not always a bitch.” She dropped Raisin’s leash in Tyson’s lap. “And you’re not always a bitter, angry asshole.”

  “Fuck,” Xander muttered. “The two of you give me heartburn, you know that?”

  “He always was a drama queen,” Tyson said to Raisin.

  “It’s because he loves you,” Darcy told him.

  “And you,” Tyson reminded her. “He loves you, too.”

  “Seriously,” Xander said. “Shut the fuck up.”

  “I know he does,” Darcy told Tyson. “And I love him, too. And because I do, I also love you.”

  Tyson narrowed his eyes. “You love me,” he repeated, heavy on the disbelief.

  “Yes. Because he loves you—even when you’re being an insufferable prick.”

  Tyson choked out a laugh. “Well, why don’t you just tell us how you really feel?”

  “I’m about to,” Darcy said.

  “Okay,” Xander said, shifting on his feet. “I think we’re done here.”

  Without taking her eyes off Tyson, Darcy pointed at him to zip it. “You’re hurting,” she said. “I get that. God, how I get that, Tyson. But by refusing to try to get back to the land of the living, by closing yourself off and depending on Xander for every damn thing every minute of the day, you’re making him hurt, too. Do you get that?”

  Tyson’s smile was gone. His jaw was tight, his eyes shuttered. “What, you think I’m a reliant dick for shits and giggles? I can’t get around, and I can’t handle anyone else near me.”

  Darcy looked at the hand he’d set on Raisin’s back. “Looks like you’re handling Raisin just fine.”

  Raisin lifted her head from where she’d set it on Tyson’s leg and licked his hand.

  Tyson made a rough noise and lowered his face to look into the dog’s eyes. Raisin very sweetly and very politely—and most touching of all, very slowly—leaned in and licked his chin.

  Just once.

  Then she sat back and seemed to smile.

  Tyson stared at her. “She’s not afraid of me.”

  “Well, why should she be?” Darcy asked. “You’re injured, not an ogre—at least not in appearance.”

  Tyson never took his eyes off Raisin. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll be an asshole to her?”

  “I’m more afraid that you’ll stop being an asshole all together and I might have to learn to like your sorry ass.”

  Tyson snorted and finally looked at her. “I can’t afford to buy her.”

  “I’m giving her to you.”

  “So you feel sorry for me? I’m not a charity case.”

  Darcy narrowed her eyes. “Raisin was a throwaway. Do you know what that means? It means that her owner took one look at her and decided she was different and therefore not as good as the others. And we both know, being that we’re different, too, that that’s just complete and utter bullshit. She’s better than all the others because she had to work doubly hard to do everything. I raised the money and bought her because she deserves to go to someone who gets her, someone who understands, someone who won’t treat her like a damn reject because she’s different. I thought you were that guy. Am I wrong?”

  Tyson studied her for a long beat and then reached down and hauled Raisin up into his lap. Three-legged dog and PTSD man stared into each other’s eyes. “You hear that?” Tyson asked the dog. “She’s yelling at your new dad. I’m going to teach you to growl at her just a little, show her who’s boss around here.”

  Raisin licked his chin again.

  Tyson let out a breath, closed his eyes, and wrapped his arms around Raisin, his expression more peaceful than Darcy had ever seen him. She glanced at Xander, who was staring at his brother like he was someone he hadn’t seen in a damn long time, his eyes suspiciously shiny.

  Darcy was having the same problem. “I’ve got a fifty-pound bag of food in my trunk and other supplies,” she said. “Like her other food and water bowls and a doggie bed. Be good to her.” She turned and walked to her car, with Xander following.

  He began to unload the stuff for her but then stopped and looked into her eyes. “You love me?”

  “You know I do,” she said.

  “But you’re not in love with me.”

  She met his gaze head-on. She was done with battling the truth, done battling period. “I wanted to be,” she said quietly. “Do I get points for that?”

  He stared at her for a beat, stone-faced. Unmoving. Giving nothing away. “I hate this.”

  Her heart squeezed at the pain on his face. “Xander—”

  “I’ve loved you for fucking ever, you know that.”

  He wasn’t going to make this easy. She’d known that. But she could make him understand, she needed to make him understand, because he meant far too much to her for there to be any other option. She’d just explain exactly how much he meant to her, how important he was to her, and he’d be okay. They’d be okay. “I know you’ve felt things for me,” she said carefully. “But I wasn’t ready—”

  “No,” he interrupted grimly. “You weren’t. Not before the accident. And not after. I knew that. But I thought you’d get there someday, so I waited. I’ve been waiting all year, Darcy.”

  “Xander,” she breathed, her heart hurting as much if not more than her leg now. “I never asked you to wait—”

  “But you didn’t cut me loose, either,” he said, pointing at her. “You kept me on the hook—”

  “No. Oh hell no, you don’t get to say that.” She’d found her own mad and frustration to match his and slapped aside his finger, jabbing her own into his chest. “I told you from the start that we were just friends. I told you that being friends was all I had to offer you. And you’re my best friend, Xander.” Her voice shook. “You’re—”

  “What changed?” he demanded. “Huh? Tell me, Darcy, what changed that suddenly you’re so willing to go there with AJ and not me.”

  “I’m not going to go there with AJ.”

  “But you want to.”

  The shocking truth of that shut her up. So did the pain in his voice. And for the first time she became afraid that she wasn’t going to be able to fix this at all, which she couldn’t even think about. She didn’t want to lose him. Couldn’t lose him.

  Xander stared at her and then shoved his fingers into his hair and turned away. “Jesus, Darcy. It’s true. Shit. You know what? The hell with this. I’m over it and the way you hurt everyone you claim to love. The hell with you.”

  She could scarcely breathe as every single word he’d uttered stabbed her in the gut and heart. “Xander—”

  “I don’t need you, Darcy. We’re done.”

  “No.” She reached out for him. “Xander, no—”

  But he threw her hand off, grabbed all of Raisin’s supplies, and strode off, leaving her standing there in the parking lot feeling like she’d just been run over.

  He’d walked away from her, left her without even looking back, like it had been the easiest thing in the world to do. She’d had it happen before, of course, and she should’ve been