Shadow Hawk Read online

  14

  AS HAWK TURNED ON THE LIGHT, a warm glow bathed the room. The bed was tousled, and so was the woman in his arms.

  “You’re naked,” she accused him.

  “I’m wearing a towel.”

  “Nearly naked, then.” Her breathing had changed, and she wasn’t meeting his eyes. But that’s because she was soaking him in, from his shoulders to his pecs to his belly, which she seemed to linger over, making the muscles there quiver like…well, like he was a horny teenager about to get lucky for the first time. He felt lucky, so goddamned lucky, even knowing he was crazy to be here, like this, with her.

  Insane, he thought, even as his hands fisted in her shirt. Reckless, after what had happened tonight. But she did something to him, to his gut, his heart.

  She’d spent six months being cool and icy, shooting him down with her superior disdain. Now he was suddenly beneath that tough veneer, and while he was here, he wanted to ruffle her up, see the real her. He should be running, yet instead he kissed her.

  Pulling back, her gaze dipped down his body again, taking in the towel loosely wrapped around his hips and what it covered.

  And what it didn’t cover.

  But there was the problem. The longer she looked, the less that it covered. Hawk didn’t want to freak her out or anything but if she kept it up, which she appeared to be set to do, he wasn’t sure that the entire bedspread could cover him. He needed to slow them down, somehow, and opened his mouth to say so, but her tongue came out and wet her lower lip, and he went harder. Great. Nice way to slow down. “Uh, Abby?”

  “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

  “Not like you. You take my breath.” And now the Neanderthal in him wanted to strip her down and get to even more beautiful parts. He wanted it so badly he was shaking, but that was for him. For her…he didn’t know what the right thing was, but he wasn’t going to rush her, or make the first move. Nope, he was going to sit here and let her look her fill, completely still, nonthreatening, for as long as she wanted.

  And if he keeled over from having all his blood between his legs, well then, he hoped she knew CPR. “The last thing I want to do is bring up bad memories.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’m okay. I just forgot what it felt like, this…rush.”

  Okay, looking at him was giving her a rush. He liked that. He liked that a lot. In fact, knowing it gave him a rush of his own.

  A big one. One she couldn’t possibly miss. But she kept looking, and he kept letting her, for as long as he could, until it had to be completely obvious what she was doing to him, since his towel had become more like a tent. “It’s sort of a direct ratio thing,” Hawk murmured in his own defense.

  Her eyes lifted to his, wide and questioning.

  “The longer you look at me like that, the more turned on I get.”

  “Oh.” She grinned.

  He tried to laugh, and found his mouth touching her temple.

  She lifted her face and their noses bumped. “Oh,” she said again, even more breathlessly, and then he was stroking away her hair, which was poking him in the eye.

  She smiled a little, but her gaze was glued to his mouth, which was a mere fraction of an inch from hers, and then suddenly she’d closed the gap. When her tongue met his, he thought he’d died and gone to heaven. Oh, God, he didn’t want her to ever stop.

  Cupping the back of her head with his hand, he deepened the kiss, which tugged a surprised, throaty moan from her and sent a flood of desire raging through him, one that seriously threatened the placement of his towel. Abby was curvy and warm in his arms, her soft sighs of pleasure causing a rush of emotion that nearly swamped him.

  She had one hand on his chest, palm open, as if she might have originally planned on holding him off but had lost her train of thought.

  Or changed her mind.

  He hoped for that second option. She was battling her demons, and Hawk could appreciate that because he had his own. All his life, his job had always taken priority, over family, over friends, over everything. While in Special Forces, he’d lost most of those close to him because it was hard to maintain relationships with what he did for a living.

  He’d felt a little regret—but there’d always been that elusive future when he’d stop working, settle down and get serious about letting someone in his life. For now, he was still driven to ferret out bad guys. Hell, he didn’t even know how to do anything else, be anyone else. Women as a whole didn’t seem to like that, and as a result, they’d come and gone, mostly gone.

  But when Abby looked at him, he didn’t have to try to downplay his life, or hide how crazy his job was. She knew, because she lived it, too.

  So freeing. Slipping his fingers into her hair, Hawk kissed her again, deeper now, trying to let her know it was okay to delve as long and hot and wet as she wanted. With a sexy-as-hell little murmur, she lifted one of her hands.

  Oh, yeah, he thought. Touch me. Do it. Even the thought made him hard. Or harder, because he’d been hard, painfully so, since he’d pulled her onto the bed with him.

  Her hand hovered in the air, then headed toward his shoulder, touched down, jerked back, then touched down again.

  At the connection, he groaned and she jerked both hands off him and pulled her mouth free, lips wet, breathing ragged, body trembling. “I’m sorry,” she gasped.

  Sorry? Was she kidding? “No, I want you to—” Wanted so much he was afraid to even finish the thought. But she’d kissed him like he was better than air, like he was her lifeline, her only hope, like maybe that one kiss wasn’t going to be enough, could never be enough.

  Yeah, he could live off that fantasy alone. When he’d rolled around with her on that hard ground at the ranch, her body had moved against his, all curves and softness, and he’d sent up a desperate wish that someday they’d be rolling around and not fighting for their lives.

  The need had surprised him then, but it didn’t now. This thing between them had been building up for six months, six months during which he’d been frustrated and hot and bothered, and he hoped she’d been the same. Now there was nothing to hold them back.

  Still staring at him with those wide eyes, Abby lifted her fingers to her mouth and slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not ready—”

  “Okay,” he managed. He even smiled, though truthfully, he wanted to cry. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s just that you’re so strong,” she said very softly, staring at the width of his shoulders. His chest. The tattoo on his bicep. His belly…the tented towel. “Very strong.”

  That clearly was not a compliment. “Would it help to know that when you look at me, I feel like a two-pound weakling?”

  She smiled, but shook her head. Hawk sighed. He was strong. Hell, he’d spent years toning and strengthening his body for his job, they both knew that. It’d been a matter of survival after all. “I’d never use my strength against you, Abby.”

  “Except, of course, if I was going to turn you in.”

  At the reminder of how he’d tumbled her around in the woods, he winced. “I tried really hard not to—”

  “I know. And you weren’t naked then, and I couldn’t really see…but now…” She lifted a shoulder. “I guess I’m just wishing that you were very skinny, or maybe even fat. Yeah, fat would do.”

  He blinked. “You’d rather I was fat?”

  “And weak. Instead of…” She eyeballed him again. “You know.”

  “Wow. Okay…”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, wait. I can fix this.” Grabbing the handcuffs on the nightstand, he snapped one on his wrist, the other to the headboard.

  Abby stared at him in shock. “What are you doing?”

  Arm stretched above his head now, he leaned back. “Just sitting here. Not fat, sorry, but weakened. One hand only, see?” Hawk wriggled his fingers. “You can take me one-handed, and we both know it. I’m at your mercy, Ab.” He looked into her eyes. “You’re in total control.”