Roughing It With Ryan Read online

  And Suzanne’s breathing was very ragged, more so when she slipped her hand inside, past the melted ice cream and wrapped her fingers around him. He was fully erect, needing release, and she was so desperate for the same thing she could hardly contain herself.

  “Your bed,” he said.

  But she shook her head. She didn’t want to wait that long. “Here.”

  He fascinated her, he had from that very first day when he’d dropped out of that tree, but this, right here right now, was taking that fascination to another level and she knew it. He was real, much more real than anyone else she’d let in her life. He had hopes and dreams. He was physical, astonishingly graceful.

  Powerful.

  And aroused. For her.

  She wanted him, wanted him in a way that went beyond the physical, and she was going to have to face that. Later.

  His fingers were shaking as he put on the condom. Watching him was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen.

  “Ryan?”

  His gaze, hot and heavy, lifted to hers.

  “Hurry.” She slipped her arms around his neck at the same time he caught her up and hauled her to him. With her wrapped around him, he turned from the counter and faced the table. One swipe of his hand sent her mail and a couple of books to the floor before he sat her on it. He was strong and hard, and she’d never wanted anyone as she wanted him. He took her face in his hands, and when they kissed this time it was no simple, gentle touch but a deep, wet, hot statement of raw hunger.

  They were both lost in it. He bunched the material of her skirt up past her waist. She used her toes to shove down his pants. He pulled a breast into his mouth, teasing the chocolate-covered nipple with his tongue while she guided him to where she needed him most.

  Then he thrust into her, making them both cry out. Using the table for leverage, he pulled back and thrust again, this time going higher, deeper. And then again.

  Looking at him, holding his dark, dark gaze, she burst right out of herself, yet another orgasm, with shocking ease, when such a thing had never come easy for her, never. Always, she’d had to strain and strain, and often had just settled without.

  Not now, though she had the sinking feeling it wasn’t the time or the place, but the man.

  Oh, yeah, it was the man.

  He kissed her again, and touched her face. Drew her hands to his chest and moaned his encouragement when they lowered. And she felt, unbelievably, another tightening within her body. Struggling to keep her eyes open, she watched as he drove her higher, then higher still, and at the end, threw his head back, her name on his lips.

  Just watching him, so untamed, so uninhibited, hearing him say her name in that ragged voice, triggered her third—her third!—orgasm of the night.

  But even as the lights exploded inside her head and her body shuddered with the insane pleasure of it all, her mind rebelled. And held back.

  Because this was nothing but a single episode. An end to a means. A temporary diversion.

  And no matter what her heart cried as Ryan gently put his mouth to hers, no matter what she really yearned for, she wouldn’t let herself sink into him.

  She’d keep her heart out of it.

  FOR RYAN, he came back to earth in slow increments. “If that was just sex,” he said, too weak to lift his face away from Suzanne’s neck or open his eyes. “I’ll eat my shorts.”

  This was greeted with silence.

  Forcing himself, he pulled away from the soft skin of her neck and looked at her.

  She, however, hopped down from the table and bustled around, gathering clothes, tossing his to him.

  “Suzanne?”

  She turned away, staring out the window, into the dark, dark night.

  “Hey. You okay?”

  She hugged herself, and when he put his hands on her shoulders, she stepped forward, and away from him. “Of course I’m fine. Perfectly fine.”

  He had a good idea what was going through her head. She was very busy distancing herself, convincing herself that everything was still the same. But she was wrong, nothing was the same, and it wouldn’t be ever again. “What just happened wasn’t the norm for me, I want you to know that.” He’d been with other women, he’d even done it in a kitchen before, once with whipped cream, but even that hadn’t been close to what he’d just shared with Suzanne. Chocolate ice cream or not, this hadn’t been just sex. When she’d been in his arms, he’d felt…whole. And when he’d sank into her body, she’d shattered him, heart and soul.

  “It’s late,” she said. “I’m sorry.” And she walked out of the kitchen. A moment later he heard her bedroom door shut.

  Leaving him standing there in the kitchen with his ego on the floor at his feet next to his pants.

  TWO MORNINGS LATER Suzanne stood in the same kitchen in which she’d allow Ryan to eat her up, literally. Chocolate was involved this time as well, though not quite in the same mind-blowing manner.

  She was putting little dollops of frosting on top of cookies, preparing a dessert tray for her third catering event of the week. A luncheon, a referral from the party she’d catered at Ryan’s.

  Ryan.

  Only two nights before he’d rocked her world right here in this very kitchen, looking at her with those dark, dark eyes as if she could quite possibly be the one for him.

  And she’d ruined that by walking away.

  Which had left her lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for two nights running, wondering which exact gene she’d inherited that had made her such an fool.

  With a sigh, she popped another fattening cookie into her mouth. It made for an even dozen. The chocolate melted in her mouth, the cookie dissolved beautifully.

  Well, good. If she couldn’t keep her personal life on track, at least she made a hell of a cookie.

  AFTER THE LUNCHEON, Suzanne drove through South Village, trying to clear her head. Everything had gone smooth. Better than smooth. She’d booked two more jobs for the following week.

  Pretty good for a hobby, she supposed, and ignored the little voice that said it should be more than a hobby.

  Maybe she just hadn’t been born to be regimented, responsible or serious.

  It was afternoon and the streets were humming with action. Businesswomen were out on break shopping and lunching. Men were watching the women shopping and lunching. There were bikers, walkers, joggers…all talking, laughing or, in the case of a roller-blading teen, singing at the top of his lungs. Scents from the sidewalk cafés contrasted with the scents of Southern California air—flowers and smog.

  Suzanne stopped to buy a newspaper, thinking she still needed a job, then drove around some more, checking out a few newer cafés and restaurants.

  She came back to reality when she ended up at Ryan’s office.

  To get out or not, that was the question now. She wondered what it meant that she couldn’t come up with an excuse for being there other than the simple one. She wanted to see him.

  “Hey.”

  At the husky voice in her ear, she jumped. Ryan stood next to her car, looking so good her hands itched to touch, though his smile seemed a bit strained and there were things in his eyes that…oh, God, the things in his eyes.

  “Hey,” she said back. “I…just wanted to…” She couldn’t remember. “Um…”

  He looked at the newspaper on the passenger seat. “Job hunting?”

  “Still.”

  “What’s up with the catering?”

  “It’s just—”

  “A hobby,” he said with her, then smiled.

  “It is.”

  “I know it. What I don’t know is what you’re so afraid of.” He said this softly, without any censure or reproach.

  And maybe that was why she was able to give him a helpless smile and admit the truth. “It’s the usual.”

  “Failure?”

  She nodded, struck dumb by how well he understood her. Had anyone ever understood her so well?

  “Suzanne, don’t you love catering?”