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  “I think you have my wife in here,” Riley said, and Nell thought, Oh, thank God.

  “Your wife?” Ben said, and Nell went to the door, trying not to smile in relief.

  “Hi, honey,” she said brightly.

  “Honey?” Ben said. “I thought you were divorced.”

  “Not quite,” Riley said through his teeth, glaring at her. “She misses on the details sometimes.”

  “Really sorry about this,” she said to Ben as she slipped past him. He looked at her the same way Riley had. Well, she couldn’t blame him, she’d lied to him.

  Although he had definitely lied to her.

  “I really am sorry,” she said, turning back at the door. “I think it’s indefensible to lie to a prospective lover about your marital status. Don’t you?”

  The last thing she saw as Riley pulled her away was Ben flushing, whether in rage or embarrassment, she couldn’t tell. It really didn’t matter.

  * * *

  Riley was seethingly quiet all the way down High Street, waiting until they were back in Nell’s apartment, and she’d turned to him and said, “Okay, so I probably shouldn’t have done that,” before he snarled, “Probably?” and launched into a tirade on her criminal negligence in not following orders that could have led to grievous consequences. “What are you trying to do?” he yelled at her finally. “Turn Gabe and me into pimps?”

  “I think you’re exaggerating.” Nell felt close to tears. She hadn’t wept for months, not since Tim had dumped her. She tried to listen to Riley’s accusations, tried to goad herself into sobbing, but it wasn’t going to happen. She could smash offices and dye her hair and pick up men all she wanted, but she was never going to feel anything again. Depressed beyond measure, she left Riley in midsentence and went into her living room and sat down on her daybed in the dark, still not crying. She hadn’t even bought the daybed herself, Suze had. She was a ghost in her own life.

  After a minute, Riley came in and sat down beside her. “I’m finished yelling,” he said in a normal voice. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I can’t feel anything,” Nell said. “I haven’t felt anything forever. I forget to eat because I never get hungry anymore. I find out my husband lied to me and cheated on me and I wreck his office—”

  “What?” Riley said, alarm in his voice.

  “—and by five, I’m back to numb. I end up in a total stranger’s hotel room, and he kisses me and I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even revulsion or fear.” She looked at him and said, “I’m dead. And I don’t think I’m coming back. That man was kissing me and I felt nothing.”

  “He was also a total stranger who was cheating on his wife,” Riley pointed out. “I don’t think those are big turnons for you.”

  “Nothing is a big turn-on for me,” Nell said. “I’m stuck in the ‘off’ position, and I think it’s forever.” She drew a long, shuddering breath. “I thought maybe changing the way I look would do it, but it’s all on the outside. I’m still gray inside. And I can’t break out of it.”

  Her voice rose up to a cry at the end, an ugly, fingernail-down-a-blackboard screech, and she expected Riley to pull away, but he put his arm around her instead, solid and strong.

  “You are overdramatizing this,” he said.

  She pulled back, insulted. “Listen, you,” she said, and he leaned forward and kissed her.

  Chapter Five

  She grabbed at him, first in surprise, and then because he felt good, hot on her mouth, solid under her hands. “What was that?”

  “You think too much.” Riley let his fingers slide down her neck and made her shiver. “See? Not dead.”

  “Hey, I have real troubles,” Nell said, trying to get her indignation back, but he drew his fingers over her breast, and she lost her place in the conversation.

  “You have no troubles,” Riley said. “You got divorced from a guy who didn’t deserve you, you have friends who are so worried about you they got you a great job, and tonight you have me. I see no problems here.”

  “Well, I—”

  He kissed her again, this time full out groping her while he did, and the pressure of his hand felt so fine on her breast that she leaned into him while she kissed him back, wanting him to push against her, to struggle with her, to make her feel something again. “See?” he whispered against her mouth. “You were just with the wrong guy.”

  “Oh, and you’re the right guy?” she said and surprised herself by laughing.

  “For tonight, I’m the right guy.” Riley slid his thumb into her neckline. “You’re definitely at the disposable lover stage,” he said and kissed her neck.

  “There’s a disposable lover stage?” Nell said, but he was leaning into her, and she smiled into his mouth as he kissed her again. “I don’t believe this,” she said when she pulled away. “I’m really depressed—”

  “No, you’re not. You’re mad as hell.” He ran his fingers lightly down the back of her dress. “You just think depressed is more ladylike. Time to blow off some steam. Where’s the zipper to this thing?”

  “I am not having sex with you,” Nell said, moving away, but not too far. The kissing part was cheering her up too much for her to kick him out just yet. “It would be unprofessional.”

  “Oh, and you’ve been such a pro tonight.” Riley pulled her toward him gently so he could look over her shoulder. “There is no zipper on this dress.”

  “It’s Lycra,” Nell said. “It pulls on. With a great deal of effort.”

  “Good thing I’m a strong guy,” Riley said, reaching for the hem.

  “Nope.” Nell pushed his hand away. “I’m not having sex with you. You’re an infant.”

  “An older woman,” Riley said. “Good. Teach me everything you know.” He pulled her to him again, and she put her arms around him and kissed him back because he was really good at it, and he fell slowly back onto the daybed with her on top of him. “I’m a beginner at this,” he said, “so you’ll have to tell me everything I’m doing wrong.”

  He slipped his hand between her legs and she said, “Well, that for starters.”

  “Too soon?”

  His hand slid away and she felt vaguely disappointed.

  “We’ll start at the top and work down, then,” he said and kissed her again when she opened her mouth to protest, touching her tongue with his. As soon as this kiss is done, she thought, but when the kiss was done, she was pressed against him, thinking, Necking doesn’t count, especially when you’re with somebody who does it this well, and ten minutes later, when he’d managed to pry the Lycra above her hips, she decided petting didn’t count, either. And shortly after that, she wasn’t thinking at all, just reacting to his mouth and his hands, feeling herself grow hotter the more he touched her, wanting his hands to be rough instead of gentle, but willing to take gentle if that was all she could get. When her dress and his shirt were off, he drew his fingers up her stomach and she shivered against him as he said, “It’s a real shame the way you can’t feel anything.”

  “Don’t gloat,” she said and pressed closer to him, trying to absorb his heat.

  “Nothing to gloat about,” he said. “Yet.”

  Then he began to kiss his way down her body, easing her underpants off with one hand. Nell said, “Uh, wait a minute,” and he said, “No,” into her belly button and kept on going. And ten minutes later, every nerve in Nell’s body thawed and came screaming back to life.

  “Now I’m going to gloat,” Riley said, and then, while Nell tried to catch her breath, he shoved off his pants. I really shouldn’t be doing this, she thought, but he rolled so she was on top of him, kissing her softly, and she clung to him while he slid hard up into her. And then to her amazement and relief, he rocked her back to another short, sharp explosion, clearing out her veins and her brain with cheerfully gentle efficiency.

  “You do that really well,” Nell said when she had her breath back and they were apart again. She felt weirdly good, as if she’d just had