Charlie All Night Read online

  “He went home. Things got weird.” Joe looked at Charlie. “Did you annoy anyone lately?”

  “Just about everybody.” Charlie sat down on the arm of the couch. “I’m not going to like this story, am I?”

  Joe shook his head. “When I opened the door, this blonde was standing there, and she shrieked, ‘Charlie!’ and flung her arms around me.”

  At least nobody had tried to gun Joe down. There were worse things than being hugged by a blonde. Charlie grinned at Allie. “Happens to me all the time.”

  “Then she dropped her coat,” Joe said. “She was naked.”

  Charlie stopped grinning. “That doesn’t happen nearly as often.”

  “Then she grabbed me again and somebody took a picture. With a flash.”

  “That never happens to me.” Charlie frowned at him. “What the hell?”

  “I don’t know,” Joe said. “But it’s not good.”

  Charlie glanced at Allie. She was glaring at him. “What?” he asked her.

  “Is there something you’re not telling me?” Allie said.

  “Something blond? No.” Charlie looked at her with disgust. The last thing he needed was Allie getting jealous while he tried to figure out this newest wrinkle. “Come on, I spend every waking moment with you. Every sleeping moment, too, for that matter. When would I be dating blondes?”

  “Well, something’s going on with you,” Allie said, getting up. “And I don’t like it.” She went in her room and shut the door.

  Charlie looked at Joe. “Is this my fault?”

  “I don’t think so.” Joe said. “But if it is, knock it off. “you’re screwing up my social life.”

  * * *

  The picture of Joe and the hooker was on the front page of Monday’s Tuttle Tribune.

  “I can’t believe they printed that,” Allie said as she stared at it over breakfast, trying to figure the public-relations angles. “Local DJ Patronizes Call Girl? How much of the paper does the mayor own?”

  “God, I look like hell,” Joe said over her shoulder. “In fact, I almost look like Charlie.”

  “Very funny.” Charlie came into the kitchen and took the paper away from them to read the caption. “This is weird. They’re setting themselves up for a lawsuit here. Somebody with clout must have got this in. Who have we annoyed that has clout?”

  “Well, the mayor owns a chunk of the paper, and there’s Roger Preston and all his friends.” Joe took the paper back. “Good thing I warned David about this. He’s not the jealous type, but this looks bad.”

  “Actually,” Allie said, trying to look on the bright side. “It might help the ratings. It should definitely get us some callers.”

  “Great,” Charlie said. “The Moral Majority calling in to tell me I’m the spawn of Satan. Yeah, I’m looking forward to that.”

  Allie tried not to laugh. It would be great talk radio if they did.

  “Forget the Moral Majority,” Joe said. “How about Bill?” The phone rang, and he got up to answer it. “Even as I speak. Do you want to talk to him?”

  “No.” Allie stood up and carried her plate to the sink. “We’re already on the carpet for the 2 Live Crew mess. Tell him we’ll see him this afternoon.” She smiled at Charlie to reassure him. “It’s all right. Bill’s going to know that’s Joe, not you, and that it has to be a setup. Really. It’s all right.”

  Allie wasn’t as sure later that afternoon.

  Bill sat in his desk chair and swiveled back and forth, glaring at both of them. “I don’t know what it is with you two,” he began on a deceptively quiet note. “I don’t know whether you’re dumb or crazy or out to get me or what.” He glared at Charlie. “I’m particularly glad I hired you, you dumb-ass.”

  Allie winced at the injustice. “Wait a minute. The Friday broadcast was all my fault. I know the rule is never to say anything in the booth that can’t be broadcast. I broke it. It’s my fault.”

  Charlie sighed. “No, it isn’t. It’s mine. I was the one who sat on the mike slide and moved it up so everyone heard us. She had every right to assume we were off the air. It was my fault.”

  Allie shook her head, trying to warn him off. Her job was safe, but his might be in jeopardy. “I’m the producer. I should have checked. It was my fault…”

  “No, it wasn’t…”

  “When you two are finished,” Bill said, “I’d like to say a few words.”

  They both shut up.

  “We logged a lot of calls Friday night.” He stood up and began to pace. Allie found herself moving her head back and forth with him. “Even more calls over the weekend. A lot more than we ever have before. And now there’s this mess with the hooker.” He wheeled around suddenly and put his hands on the desk, looming over them. “The press would like to talk to you both.”

  Charlie shifted in his seat. “About the hooker-”

  “I know about the hooker,” Bill said. “Somebody’s out to get you, son, but it’s hard to tell who since you’ve pissed off so many people.” He glared at Charlie. “Had to make waves, didn’t you?”

  “I don’t think that was what I had in mind,” Charlie began and Bill cut him off.

  “You don’t think at all, son. That’s why we’re in this mess. Just look at you on Friday. Playing songs about raping women.” He snorted. “Making fun of Barry Manilow.”

  Charlie looked at Allie, and she closed her eyes in defeat. Bill was on her side. She must be wrong.

  “And you,” Bill said to her. “You and your women’s movements. I’ve told you to keep that stuff off the air. The only good thing this fool said Friday night was when he made fun of you for that. And even that was dirty.” He glared at Charlie again.

  “Oh, hell, Bill.” Charlie leaned back in his chair. “Fire us and get it over with.”

  Allie felt her heart rise in her throat, but then Bill saved her.

  “I’m not gonna fire you.” He slapped the desk. “I need you. And besides, you’re starting to make me money. Albert raised the ad rate on your show and it’s still sold out. Damn it.”

  “You can fire me,” Allie offered, not too worried he’d take her up on it. “Nobody knows I exist.”

  “The hell they don’t.” Bill glared at her, too. “You’re famous now. I told you, the press wants to talk to you. Some fool woman wants to do a human-interest story on you two.”

  “Well, we don’t want to talk to her.” Allie stood up. “I’m not talking to anybody ever again.”

  “Sit down,” Bill said and she sat down. “You’re gonna have to go on again tonight.”

  “No,” Allie and Charlie said together.

  “And you’re gonna talk nice to each other, and answer questions nice for the rest of the week, and then when everybody’s really bored, you, Charlie, are gonna go back to being a solo DJ and you, Alice, are gonna go back to being a producer, and that’s gonna be the end of it. Understand? Find something boring to talk about that you both agree on and talk about it for a week. There must be something that you both agree on.”

  Sex, Allie thought, but she kept her mouth shut. She looked over at Charlie who was fighting back a grin. He was turning into one hellacious one-night stand.

  “Either of you got anything else to say?”

  “No, sir,” Allie said, and then she and Charlie escaped into the hall before he could start again. “I think Bill has slipped around the bend this time,” she said when they were out of earshot.

  “Well, he owns the bend,” Charlie said. “Let’s make this thing short and sweet. Think of something we talk about.”

  “The show,” Allie said. “Chinese food. Sex.”

  “I don’t think any of those are going to make a program,” Charlie said. “What else do we talk about?”

  Allie stopped, struck by the thought. “That’s pretty much it. We don’t talk much.” She looked at him, appalled. “We don’t really talk at all.”

  Charlie ignored her. “Maybe we can talk about music. You don’t know anything abou