Crazy for You Read online

  Everybody’s Falling in Love with the Rollicking, Romantic Novels of Jennifer Crusie

  Crazy for You

  “With beach season soon upon us, I’m now going to root around for Crusie’s other novel, Tell Me Lies. She’s certainly a legitimate heir to the Beach Reading Throne.”

  —Los Angeles Times

  “A gem of a story—fresh, funny and wickedly sexy…Jennifer Crusie has a marvelous writer’s voice—funny and dead-on realistic at the same time…The sexual attraction between [the hero and heroine] is powerful stuff, a memorable pairing of wit and passion…With a satisfying romance and a wacky contingent of secondary characters to keep the humor rolling along…Just call me crazy for Crusie; I think I have a new favorite author.”

  —Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

  “[Crusie’s] characters have sharp edges that lend themselves to both comedy and villainy.”

  —The New York Times Book Review

  “CRAZY FOR YOU is definitely worth the read. So, girlfriend, grab a soda pop and some chocolate chip cookies, turn off the phone, put Lucinda Williams on the CD player, stake out the sofa, and enjoy. You deserve it.”

  —Cleveland Plain Dealer

  “An updated, rollicking version of Peyton Place…Crusie infuses a great deal of humor about human nature into this contemporary romance, deploying as well an engaging cast of characters.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Funny and entertaining, Crusie’s novel presents a lively cast and an exciting conclusion.”

  —Booklist

  “Romance has a new star in Crusie…one of the few in the genre who can make you laugh out loud.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  “A sexy, humorous romp with complex relationships and entertaining characters.”

  —Rendezvous

  “Hold onto your seat for an hysterical look at relationships…Crusie has you laughing and crying as these special people struggle to find that elusive something within themselves.”

  —Old Book Barn Gazette

  “CRAZY FOR YOU firmly establishes Jennifer Crusie as the monarch of marvelously witty romantic comedy in small-town America.”

  —BookPage

  “Diametrically humorous and dark, making the novel a joy to read…Ms. Crusie’s current opus leaves the reader feeling happy to be alive.”

  —Affaire de Coeur

  “Wonderful…This may well be the most enjoyable book you’ll read this year. I read it three times in one week…If you miss out on CRAZY FOR YOU, well, you’re crazy. This is Jennifer Crusie in top form.”

  —The Romantic Reader

  “Jennifer Crusie can write the socks off anyone on the market today. Sexy, humorous, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound…nothing can stop this woman from writing one of the best books on the market today. Destined for the bestseller list, CRAZY FOR YOU will leave you holding your sides with laughter as you enter the world of small town gossip, seven-year-itch marriages, love-crazed men, and Monday Night Football, all the ingredients for a rip-snorting good time. Do yourself a favor and buy this book. Jennifer Crusie never disappoints.”

  —Amazon.com

  Tell Me Lies

  “Lovers of Susan Isaacs’ mysteries, take heart: There’s a new author on the block!”

  —Woman’s Own

  “Jennifer Crusie presents a humorous mixture of romance, mystery, and mayhem. A winner!”

  —Susan Elizabeth Phillips, New York Times bestselling author of Lady Be Good

  “Smart, sexy, romantic suspense.”

  —Minneapolis Star Tribune

  “Wonderfully fresh, funny, tender, and outrageous…Crusie is one of a kind.”

  —Booklist

  “Jennifer Crusie rocks! TELL ME LIES is a sexy, wickedly funny peek inside the secrets and lies of a Midwestern town. This is hot, happy, laugh-out-loud fun.”

  —Eileen Dreyer, bestselling author of Brain Dead and Bad Medicine

  “A jaunty tale of love and murder…There’s enough intrigue and scandal here to make a small city stay home.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Smart, sexy, and howlingly funny. Having a bad day? TELL ME LIES is just the tonic to make you laugh again.”

  —Tess Gerritsen, New York Times bestselling author of Bloodstream and Life Support

  “Jennifer Crusie is truly a talent to be treasured! TELL ME LIES is filled with the wit and humor that are Ms. Crusie’s trademarks. As with chocolate, all it takes is one taste of Ms. Crusie’s singular storytelling gifts, and readers will be hooked for life.”

  —Romantic Times

  For

  Lee K. Abbott,

  a god among men

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Preview

  Acknowledgments

  One

  On a gloomy March afternoon, sitting in the same high school classroom she’d been sitting in for thirteen years, gritting her teeth as she told her significant other for the seventy-second time since they’d met that she’d be home at six because it was Wednesday and she was always home at six on Wednesdays, Quinn McKenzie lifted her eyes from the watercolor assignments on the desk in front of her and met her destiny.

  Her destiny was a small black dog with desperate eyes, so she missed the significance at first.

  She didn’t miss anything else. The dog that her favorite art student held out to her was the canine equivalent of an exposed nerve: wiry black body, skinny white legs, narrow black head, all of it held together with so much tension that the poor baby shuddered with it. It looked cold and scared and hungry and anxious as it struggled in Thea’s arms, and Quinn’s heart broke. No animal should ever look like that.

  “Oh.” Quinn rose on the word and went toward Thea while Bill groaned and said, “Not another one.”

  “I found it in the parking lot.” Thea put the dog down on the floor in front of Quinn. “I knew you’d know what to do.”

  “Come on, baby.” Quinn crouched in front of it, not too near, not too far, and patted the floor. “Come here, sweetie. Don’t be scared. It’s all right now. I’ll take care of you.”

  The dog trembled even harder, jerking its head from side to side. Then it made a dash for the nearest door, which, unfortunately for it, was the storeroom.

  “Well, that’ll make it easier to trap and catch,” Bill said, his tone as cheerful and sure as always. It was always a beautiful day in the neighborhood for Bill, a man who’d taken the Tibbett High football team to five consecutive championships and the baseball team to four—fifth one coming right up—almost solely, Quinn believed, by never considering the possibility of defeat. “Know where you want to be and go there,” he’d tell the boys, and they would.

  Quinn decided she wanted to be someplace else, with a pizza, but she had to comfort this dog and get rid of Bill before she could go there. She crawled on her hands and knees to the door, trying to look nonthreatening. “Now look, dogs like me,” she said in her best come-to-mama voice as the dog cowered against a carton of oaktag at the back of the narrow storeroom. “You’re missing a good deal here. Really, I’m famous for this. Come on.” She moved a little closer, still on her hands and knees, and the dog peeled its eyes back.

  “I suppose you had to do this,” Bill said to Thea good-naturedly, and Quinn felt equally anno