Tell Tale: Short Stories Read online

  A year later, a JCB rolled onto the site, and the builder licked his lips when rolls of twenty-pound notes changed hands on a regular basis, even if the project manager found Molly a bit of a handful.

  So while Joe and Molly continued to live a frugal existence in Barnsford, with Joe’s only extravagance a season ticket for Barnsford Rovers, who still languished in the bottom half of the third division, Molly did allow herself the occasional visit to The Smoke to see the latest musical and have an Indian curry at Veeraswamy. But they always traveled back to Barnsford second class in case anyone spotted them. However, during the summer holidays, the family could always be found residing in their luxury villa overlooking the sea in the Bay of Pollença.

  * * *

  When Joe’s father retired at the age of sixty, Joe sent his mum and dad for a cruise on the QE2, explaining that they’d had a little win on the Premium Bonds. And two years later, when the zoo had an appeal for a new elephant house, the manager (Joe’s fifth) was delighted when they received an anonymous donation of £10,000, but was just a little surprised that it arrived in a large brown paper bag.

  Joe was particularly proud when Joe Jr. was offered a place at Leeds University to study law, another first for the Simpson family, but Janet trumped her brother two years later when she won a scholarship to read English at Durham.

  “What are we going to do when the time comes for us to retire?” asked Joe, aware that Molly would have already given the problem some considerable thought.

  “We’ll go and live in Majorca and, to quote the good Lord, enjoy the fruits of our labor.”

  “But what about my car park?”

  “You can leave someone else to worry about that.”

  * * *

  Being a conventional sort of chap, Joe also retired on his sixtieth birthday, and after handing back the keys of their council house, he and Molly packed up everything they needed (very little), and headed for the airport with two one-way tickets.

  It wasn’t long before Joe became a vice president of Real Mallorca, who were at least in the top half of the second division, and deputy chairman of the local Rotary Club, while Molly became honorary treasurer of the residents’ association.

  Joe Jr. was now a practicing barrister on the northern circuit, while Janet taught English at Roundhay grammar school. They both paid regular visits to their parents in Majorca, accompanied by Charlie, Rachel, and Joe very Jr., who Joe and Molly adored.

  * * *

  “Have you seen what they’ve done with my car park?” said Joe one evening, after reading his weekly copy of the Yorkshire Post. “Daft pillocks,” he said as he continued to read the article.

  On January 2, the new manager of the zoo, a Mr. Braithwaite, called the estates department at Barnsford City Council, to ask when Joe Simpson’s replacement would be reporting for work.

  “Who’s Joe Simpson?” the estates manager asked.

  “He’s the man who ran the car park opposite the zoo. Has done for the past forty years. We even gave him a farewell party.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said the estates manager, “I always assumed you owned the land.”

  “But we thought you did!” said Braithwaite.

  “Daft pillocks,” repeated Joe as he put down his paper and joined Molly in the kitchen. “If manager ’ad bin half awake, he’d ’ave kept his mouth shut, and only the zoo would have benefited,” he told his wife, “which is what I’d always wanted. But no, he had to consult council chairman, Alderman Appleyard, who thought they should take legal advice, which has ended up with a lengthy court battle between Barnsford City Council and the zoo. Result? Both sides lost out, while weeds are sprouting up all over my car park.”

  Three years later a judge finally ruled that the council should take charge of the car park, but any profits were to be divided equally between the two. A typical British compromise, where only the lawyers benefit, was Joe’s opinion when he read the latest news coming out of Yorkshire.

  “I’m only surprised,” said Molly, “that they’ve not come after us.”

  “No chance,” said Joe. “I reckon that’d make council look like a bunch of wallies. No, least said, soonest mended. And you can be sure of one thing, no one will stand up and take responsibility. Don’t forget, that lot will be coming up for reelection in May, so mum’s the word.”

  * * *

  When I last had dinner with Joe and Molly in Pollença, I couldn’t resist asking him how much he thought he’d made over the years, as a car park attendant.

  “Supervisor,” he corrected me, not answering my question.

  “Three million, four hundred and twenty-two thousand, three hundred and nineteen pounds,” replied Molly.

  “That sounds ’bout right,” said Joe, “but next time you’re in Barnsford, Jeff lad, take a look at the zoo’s new aquarium. Summat the missus and I are right chuffed about!”

  * * *

  Joe and Molly Simpson are buried next to each other in the churchyard of St. Mary the Immaculate in Barnsford. Something else Molly insisted on.

  A WASTED HOUR

  KELLEY ALWAYS THUMBED a ride back to college, but never told her parents. She knew they wouldn’t approve.

  Her father would drive her to the station on the first day of term, when she would hang around on the platform until she was certain he was on his way back home. She would then walk the couple of miles to the freeway.

  There were two good reasons why Kelley preferred to thumb a ride back to Stanford rather than take a bus or train. Twelve round trips a year meant she could save over a $1,200, which her father could ill afford after being laid off by the water company. In any case he and Ma had already made quite enough sacrifices to ensure she could attend college, without causing them any further expense.

  But Kelley’s second reason for preferring to thumb rides was that when she graduated she wanted to be a writer, and during the past three years she’d met some fascinating people on the short journey from Salinas to Palo Alto, who were often willing to share their experiences with a stranger they were unlikely to meet again.

  One fellow had worked as a messenger on Wall Street during the Depression, while another had won the Silver Star at Monte Cassino, but her favorite was the man who’d spent a day fishing with President Roosevelt.

  Kelley also had golden rules about who she wouldn’t accept a ride from. Truck drivers were top of the list as they only ever had one thing on their mind. The next were vehicles with two or three young men on board. In fact she avoided most drivers under the age of sixty, especially those behind the wheel of a sports car.

  The first car to slow down had two young fellows in it, and if that wasn’t warning enough, the empty beer cans on the backseat certainly were. They looked disappointed when she firmly shook her head, and after a few raucous catcalls continued on their way.

  The next vehicle to pull over was a truck, but she didn’t even look up at the driver, just continued walking. He eventually drove off, honking his horn in disgust.

  The third was a pickup truck, with a couple in the front who looked promising, until she saw a German shepherd lounging across the backseat that looked as if he hadn’t been fed in a while. Kelley politely told them she was allergic to dogs—well, except for Daisy, her cocker spaniel back home, whom she adored.

  And then she spotted a prewar Studebaker slowly ambling along toward her. Kelley faced the oncoming car, smiled, and raised her thumb. The car slowed, and pulled off the road. She walked quickly up to the passenger door to see an elderly gentleman leaning across and winding down the window.

  “Where are you headed, young lady?” he asked.

  “Stanford, sir,” she replied.

  “I’ll be driving past the front gates, so jump in.”

  Kelley didn’t hesitate, because he met all of her most stringent requirements: over sixty, wearing a wedding ring, well spoken, and polite. When she got in, Kelley sank back into the leather seat, her only worry being