A Prison Diary Read online

* Since this was written, the Home Secretary has downgraded cannabis/marijuana to Class C classification.

  * A joey is about the size of two aspirins.

  *Almost all of the prisoners have stopped swearing in front of me.

  * This sentence was added while I was editing Volume One, and had finally been transferred to a D-cat. As of today, 1 October 2002, William Keane is still ‘on the out’.

  * You never enter someone else’s cell unless invited to do so.

  * I presented Fletch’s original script to my publisher in full; names and places have been necessarily omitted from the final text.

  * Fletch subsequently attempted to commit suicide on 7 January 2002

  * Since the court case, Dr Susan Edwards, Associate Dean of Buckingham Law School, has researched every perjury case during the last ten years

  * Michael Beloff QC is an Olympic judge and is allowed to take a guest to the World Championships. His wife Judith has never shown much interest in watching half-naked men running around a track, so we’ve been a regular ‘item’ at such events for the past thirty years.

  On the circuit we’re known as Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.

  * The novel has since been renamed Sons of Fortune.

  * Bleaching powder can be added to pure heroin, diluting its strength, thus ensuring a larger profit for the dealer It’s against regulations to have two pillows.

  * I have already decided, once I’m released I will visit Billy (14 more years) and Fletch (19 more years) if they will allow me to.