Cotillion Read online

  Hugh turned to look over his shoulder, and for an instant it seemed as though he doubted the evidence of his eyes. A slight flush mounted to his cheeks; he compressed his austere lips, as though to check some hasty utterance, and with deliberation pushed back his chair, and rose. By this time, Lord Dolphinton had assimilated the fact that another of his cousins had come to Arnside. He looked rather pleased, and said helpfully: ‘Here’s Freddy! Hallo, Freddy! You here?’

  ‘Hallo, old fellow!’ responded Mr Standen good-naturedly. He drew near the fire, nodding affably to his other cousins, and levelling his quizzing-glass at the card-table. ‘You above par, George?’ he enquired, mildly surprised. ‘Never seen you play cribbage before in my life! Well, I mean to say—Cribbage!’

  ‘No, I am not!’ replied Biddenden crossly. ‘It’s Hugh!’

  ‘You don’t say so?’ said Freddy, bringing his glass to bear on Hugh’s handsome countenance. ‘Hugh full of frisk? Well, I wouldn’t have thought it of you, Hugh!’

  ‘Do not pretend to be more of a fool than God made you, Freddy!’ said Hugh coldly. ‘You know very well that George did not wish to signify that I was inebriated—if, as I apprehend, that is the meaning of the cant you choose to employ.’

  ‘Something thrown you into gloom?’ asked Freddy solicitously. ‘A trifle out of sorts? Daresay you ate something at dinner that’s making you feel queasy. Devilish bad cook, my uncle’s: never eat a meal here if I can avoid it.’

  ‘Thank you, I was never better in my life,’ said Hugh. ‘May we know what has brought you to Arnside?’

  Lord Biddenden stirred impatiently. ‘Oh, play off no airs for our benefit!’ he begged. ‘It is as plain as a pikestaff why he is here!’

  ‘I hesitate to contradict you, George, but I am far more inclined to suppose that Freddy does not know for what purpose he was invited here.’

  Mr Standen, who had turned to observe himself in the spotted mirror over the fireplace, discovered that his neckcloth needed an infinitesimal adjustment. Until this delicate operation had been performed, it was plainly useless to address questions to him. Hugh tapped his foot against the floor, his lip curling disdainfully; and Biddenden, who had himself a great inclination towards dandyism, watched with reluctant appreciation the deft straightening of a cravat which had roused his admiration at the outset. He held the poorest opinion of his cousin Freddy’s mental ability, but he always took covert note of any new fashion Freddy adopted, and very often copied it; and he would not for an instant have denied that Freddy’s rulings on such matters were worthy of respect. ‘Schultz make that coat?’ he asked.

  ‘Weston, George: never let another snyder cut my coats! Mind, if I wanted sporting toggery—’

  ‘You have not yet answered my question!’ interrupted Hugh. ‘What has brought you here?’

  ‘Hired chaise,’ said Freddy. ‘Thought of driving myself down, but too far for the tits. Bad weather, too.’

  ‘I shall not gratify you by explaining my meaning,’ said Hugh contemptuously. ‘You know quite well what it is.’

  ‘I came in my own carriage,’ offered Lord Dolphinton. ‘We changed horses twice, and I had a hot brick to keep my feet warm, and a shawl round my shoulders. I shall have another hot brick put in the carriage when I go back. I shall tell Stobhill to attend to it. My mother said that was what I should do, and I shall do it. Stobhill will know how to set about it.’

  ‘I imagine the task need not strain his powers unduly!’ said Biddenden snappishly.

  ‘Some people,’ said Dolphinton, ‘don’t heat the bricks right through.’ He thought for a moment, and added: ‘Some people heat ’em too much.’

  ‘Fact of the matter is, old fellow,’ said Freddy, entering into the spirit of this, ‘it’s a dashed difficult thing to do. You leave it to Stobhill!’

  ‘Well, that’s what I shall do,’ said Dolphinton, much gratified. ‘I’m glad you’ve come, Freddy. Sensible fellow. You going to offer for Kitty?’

  ‘That’s it,’ replied Freddy.

  ‘You know what?’ said Dolphinton. ‘I hope she takes you. Wouldn’t take Hugh. Wouldn’t take me. George didn’t offer. Couldn’t, because he’s married. Can’t think why he came. Wasn’t invited, you know.’

  Hugh said, with a certain deepening of his mellifluous voice: ‘We are to believe that, Freddy? You have indeed come for that purpose? I own, I had not thought it of you!’

  ‘Well, if it comes to that,’ said Freddy, ‘I hadn’t thought it of you! Never took you for a downy one. Daresay I was misled by those bands of yours: very likely thing to happen!’

  ‘My motive in offering the protection of my name to our unfortunate young cousin is not, I assure you, a mercenary one.’

  ‘Not our cousin,’ objected Lord Dolphinton. ‘George said she wasn’t. Said my uncle told us so. I didn’t follow it all myself, but that’s what George said.’

  No one paid any heed to this remark. Biddenden said with some asperity: ‘This is a new come-out for you, Freddy! Pray, since when have you been hanging out for a rich wife?’

  ‘Took a sudden notion to get married,’ explained Freddy, extemporizing cunningly. ‘Must have an heir!’

  ‘As your father is in the prime of life,’ said Biddenden, with heavy sarcasm, ‘and has two other sons beside yourself—’

  ‘Too young to be married,’ Freddy pointed out. ‘Well, look at it! Charlie’s up at Oxford, and Edmund ain’t even at Eton yet!’

  ‘I can tell you now that you have wasted your time! If the girl means to marry any other than Jack, you may call me a zany!’

  ‘Now, that’s where you’re wrong!’ said Freddy, speaking with authority. ‘It ain’t Jack: doesn’t seem to like him above half.’

  Biddenden gave a snort. ‘She’s piqued, I don’t doubt. That she doesn’t hanker after him you will find it hard to make me believe! As for her entertaining for an instant the thought of marrying you—! Upon my soul, I have not been so much diverted since I came to this damned, cold house!’

  ‘Lay you a monkey she takes me!’ offered Freddy.

  ‘You must be out of your senses! If you imagine she will accept you for the sake of a title, you much mistake the matter! She has refused Dolphinton already, and he, as he will be only too ready to inform you, is an Earl!’

  He had no sooner uttered these words than he regretted them. Lord Dolphinton, who had shown signs of relapsing into the state of suspended animation natural to him, responded as to a clarion-call. ‘Only Earl in the family,’ he said. ‘Thought she’d like it. Good thing to be a Countess. Don’t see it myself, but that’s what my mother says. Must know, because she’s a Countess. Seems to like it pretty well. No good Freddy’s offering. Only be a Viscount. That’s better than a Baron, but George don’t count in any case. Can’t think why he came.’

  ‘If you say once more that I was not invited,’ exploded the much-tried Biddenden, ‘I will not be answerable for the consequences!’

  ‘Well, what did you want to start him off for?’ said Freddy reasonably. ‘You might have known he’d catch his own name! That’s all right and tight, Dolph: don’t pay any heed to George! He’s a gudgeon.’

  ‘If we are to talk of gudgeons,’ countered Biddenden, ‘there is a bigger one in this room even than Dolphinton!’

  ‘Well, why don’t you sport a little blunt on the chance!’ suggested Freddy. ‘I’ll lay you handsome odds!’

  ‘The style of this conversation is quite improper,’ interposed the Rector. ‘Unless you are in the expectation of being received by my great-uncle tonight, Freddy, I suggest that we should all of us retire to bed. I will add that while I cannot but deprecate the freedom George uses in discussing such a matter I believe that whatever may be our cousin’s sentiments upon the occasion, my uncle is much chagrined at Jack’s absence from Arnside, and is very likely to wait upon the chance of his making a belated appea