Arabella Read online

  ‘Bertram, you must be mad!’ cried Arabella, pale with dismay. ‘When Papa knows you are in town, and without leave –’

  ‘The thing is he won’t know it,’ interrupted Bertram. ‘I wrote a letter to Mama, telling her I had met my friend Felix, and he had invited me to stay with him. So they won’t be in a fret when I don’t go back immediately, and they won’t know where I am, because I didn’t give my direction. And that brings me to what I particularly want to warn you about, Bella! I’m going by the name of Anstey while I’m in town, and while I don’t mind if you tell this godmother of yours that I’m a friend of yours, you are not to say I’m your brother! She’d be bound to write and tell my mother, and then the fat would be in the fire!’

  ‘But, Bertram, how can you dare?’ asked Arabella, in an awed voice. ‘Papa will be so angry!’

  ‘Yes, I know. I shall get a rare trimming, but I shall have had a bang-up time first, and I can stand a lick or two after,’ said Bertram cheerfully. ‘I made up my mind I’d do it, before you came to town. Do you remember my telling you that you might get a surprise? I’ll swear you never thought this would be it!’

  ‘No, indeed I did not!’ Arabella said, sinking into a chair. ‘Oh, Bertram, I am quite in a quake! I cannot understand any of it! How can you afford to be staying in London? Are you Mr Scunthorpe’s guest?’

  ‘No, no, poor old Felix ain’t standing the huff! I won a ticket in a lottery! Only think of it, Bella! A hundred pounds!’

  ‘A lottery! Good God, what would Papa say if he knew that?’

  ‘Oh, he would kick up no end of a bobbery, of course, but I shan’t tell him. And, you know, once I had won it the only thing to be done was to spend it, because you must see I had to get rid of it before Papa found I had it!’ He saw that his sister was looking horrified, and said indignantly: ‘I must say, I don’t see why you would grudge it to me! I daresay you are having a capital time yourself!’

  ‘No, no, how could you think I would grudge you anything, Bertram? But to have you in town, and to be obliged to pretend I am not your sister, and to deceive Papa and Mama –’ She stopped, remembering her own situation. ‘Oh, Bertram, how wicked we are!’

  Mr Scunthorpe looked very much alarmed at this, but Bertram said: ‘Fudge! It’s not telling lies precisely just not to mention that you have seen me when you write to Mama!’

  ‘You do not know! It is worse than that!’ whispered Arabella. ‘Bertram, I am in such a scrape!’

  He stared at her. ‘You are? How is this?’ He saw her glance towards his friend, and said: ‘You needn’t mind Felix: he’s no gabster!’

  Arabella was easily able to believe this, but she not unnaturally felt reluctant to disclose her story to one who was a stranger to her, even though she had already realised that if he was not to betray her unwittingly he must be taken some way at least into her confidence. Mr Scunthorpe tweaked his friend’s sleeve. ‘Must help your sister out of the scrape, dear boy. Happy to be of service!’

  ‘I am very much obliged to you, sir, but no one can help me out of it!’ said Arabella tragically. ‘If only you will be so kind as not to betray me!’

  ‘Of course he won’t betray you!’ declared Bertram. ‘What in thunder have you been about, Bella?’

  ‘Bertram, everyone believes me to be a great heiress!’ disclosed Arabella, in a stricken tone.

  He stared at her for a moment, and then burst out laughing. ‘You goosecap! I’ll wager they don’t! Why, Lady Bridlington knows you are not! You don’t mean that she put such a tale about?’

  She shook her head. ‘I said it!’ she confessed.

  ‘You said it? What the devil made you do such a thing? However, I don’t suppose anyone believed you!’

  ‘They do believe it. Lord Bridlington says that every gazetted fortune-hunter in town is dangling after me – and, oh, Bertram, it is true! I have refused five offers already!’

  The idea that there could be found five gentlemen ready to marry his sister struck Bertram as being exquisitely humorous, and he went off into another burst of laughter. Arabella was obliged to confess the whole, since he seemed so incredulous. Her narrative was rather disjointed, since he interpolated so many questions; and at one point a considerable digression was caused by Mr Scunthorpe, who, having regarded her fixedly for some moments, suddenly became loquacious, and said: ‘Beg pardon, ma’am, but did you say Mr Beaumaris?’

  ‘Yes. He and Lord Fleetwood.’

  ‘The Nonpareil?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Mr Scunthorpe drew a breath, and turned to address his friend. ‘You hear that, Bertram?’

  ‘Well, of course I heard it!’

  ‘Didn’t think you could have. You see this coat of mine?’

  Both Tallants stared at his coat in some bewilderment.

  ‘Got my man to copy the lapels of one Weston made for the Nonpareil,’ said Mr Scunthorpe, with simple pride.

  ‘Good God, what has that to say to anything?’ demanded Bertram.

  ‘Thought you might be interested,’ explained Mr Scunthorpe apologetically.

  ‘Never mind him!’ Bertram told his sister. ‘If it wasn’t just like you, Bella, to fly into a miff, and go off into one of your crazy starts! Mind, I don’t say I blame you! Did he spread the story over London?’

  ‘I think it was Lord Fleetwood who did that. Mr Beaumaris told me once that he had not discussed the matter with anyone but Lord Fleetwood. Sometimes I have wondered whether – whether he had guessed the truth, but I cannot believe that he has, for he would despise me dreadfully, I am sure, if he knew how odiously I behaved, and certainly not stand up with me at all the balls – for he very seldom dances! – or take me out driving in his curricle.’

  Mr Scunthorpe looked very much impressed. ‘He does that?’

  ‘Oh, yes!’

  Mr Scunthorpe nodded portentously at Bertram. ‘You know what, dear boy? All the crack, your sister! Not a doubt of it. Knows all the best people. Drives out with the Nonpareil. Good thing she said she was an heiress.’

  ‘Oh, no, no, I wish I had never done so, for it has made everything so uncomfortable!’

  ‘Now, Bella, that’s gammon! I know you! Don’t you try to tell me you don’t like being all the go, because I wouldn’t believe you if you did!’ said Bertram, with brotherly candour.

  Arabella thought it over. Then she gave a reluctant smile. ‘Well, yes, perhaps I do like it, but when I remember the cause of it I do indeed wish I had never said such a thing! Only consider what a fix I am in! If the truth were known now I should be utterly discredited! No one would even bow to me, I daresay, and I have the greatest dread that Lady Bridlington would send me home in disgrace! And then Papa would know, and – Bertram, I had almost rather throw myself into the river than have him know such a thing of me!’

  ‘Lord, yes!’ he agreed, with a shudder. ‘But it won’t come to that! If anyone asks me any prying questions, I shall say you are well known to me, and so will Felix!’

  ‘Yes, but that is not all!’ Arabella pointed out. ‘I can never, never accept any offer made to me, and what Mama will think of such selfishness I dare not consider! For she so much hoped that I should form an eligible connection, and Lady Bridlington is bound to tell her that – that quite a number of very eligible gentlemen have paid me the most marked attentions!’

  Bertram knit his brows over this. ‘Unless – No, you’re right, Bella; devilish awkward fix! You would have to tell the truth, if you accepted an offer, and ten to one he’d cry off. What a tiresome girl you are, to be sure! Dashed if I see what’s to be done! Do you, Felix?’

  ‘Very difficult situation,’ responded Mr Scunthorpe, shaking his head. ‘Only one thing to be done.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  Mr Scunthorpe gave a diffident cough. ‘Just a little thing that occurred to me. Daresay you won’t care about i