Forbidden Read online

  “Good.” She sniffled. “Now that’s settled, I’m beat. Let’s go to bed.”

  Owen raised an eyebrow at her. “Don’t you have to finish reading your book of angel porn?”

  She laughed through her tears and slapped at his arm. “Stop it! I told you I was only reading it as an assignment for Professor Dobrev. I can’t help it if it’s smutty.”

  Owen rolled his eyes. “Okay, if you say so.”

  “You.” She slapped his arm again and got off the couch. “C’mon. Aren’t you tired? It’s been a long day.”

  And it’s going to be an even longer night. But even the thought of lying beside her—loving and wanting her and still unable to touch her—couldn’t dampen his mood. “Yeah,” he said, smiling and manufacturing a yawn. “Let’s go to bed.”

  Chapter Eight

  Leah couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so happy. So content. She’d suspected it all along, but now, at last, she knew for certain what had driven the wedge between her and Owen. Finally they could heal the rift between them.

  Leaving on the white T-shirt, she turned her back to Owen and unhooked the black bra. After pulling it out of the armhole of her shirt, she left it on a chair by her side of the bed and then pushed down the tight jean shorts as well. Keeping on her pink panties, she climbed into bed and settled down with a sigh.

  “Hurry up and turn off the light,” she murmured drowsily.

  “In a minute.” Owen’s voice sounded strained.

  She looked to her left and saw that he had his shirt off but was hesitating, fiddling nervously with the button of his jeans.

  “Just take them off,” she said, yawning. “I don’t care if you sleep in boxers or briefs, as long as we get to sleep sometime tonight.”

  Shrugging, he pushed the tight denim down. Now that she was watching him, Leah couldn’t help admiring his body. His bare shoulders were so broad, and the tight muscles of his abdomen bunched and flexed as he kicked off the jeans. He had on black silk boxers, which emphasized his powerful legs. God, if he weren’t my brother… But he is my brother, and I’m still thinking this. Still wanting him. Feeling like we belong together. Is that wrong?

  Owen climbed into bed beside her and turned off the bedside lamp. But though Leah had been feeling emotionally exhausted and ready to drop a minute ago, the sight of him undressing seemed to have woken her up. She thought of how little it was that had kept them apart all these years. One kiss! One kiss had cost her ten years of love and affection from her wonderful older brother. One measly, single, solitary, stupid kiss. As she thought of it, she couldn’t help remembering the golden dream she’d had—of the angel with her brother’s face who had begged her to bring them together. Not to mention the feeling of rightness she had when she thought of being with Owen…that way.

  “Owen?” she said into the darkness.

  “Hmm?” He was lying on his back, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she could barely make out his profile in the dim light coming through the heavy drapes.

  Leah took a deep breath. Should she really do this? Yes, she decided as she remembered the vision, she should. “I’ve been thinking,” she said before she could change her mind.

  “Yeah?” He turned toward her, his eyes gleaming softly.

  “I’ve been thinking that…that since a kiss was all that stood between us all these years…well, I’ve been thinking that maybe you should kiss me again,” Leah said quickly, trying to get all the words out before she lost her nerve. “Just once, you know? To prove to yourself it’s no big deal.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Owen sounded hesitant.

  “Of course it’s a good idea. You’ve agonized over that one incident until it seems insurmountable. If we kiss—just once—you’ll see what a small thing it really is, and maybe you can let go of some of that guilt you’ve been carrying around for so long.”

  “Leah, I don’t think—”

  “Well, I do.” Levering herself up on one elbow, she leaned over him and looked down into his eyes. “And if you won’t kiss me, then I’ll kiss you.”

  Owen started to protest again, and Leah pounced.

  She’d meant for the kiss to be a quick peck—just once on the lips, and then she would say, See? Nothing to it. It seemed like a good way to test the theory that her dream had something important to tell her. And if nothing came of it, she and Owen could laugh about the whole thing and go to sleep. But somehow that wasn’t what happened.

  Owen’s mouth was firm against hers at first, as though he intended to reject the kiss at all costs. But Leah was determined. She kissed him softly and then sucked gently at his lower lip. Then she nibbled lightly and teasingly, daring him to return the favor. Owen made a small noise of surprise and pleasure, his lips parting with the sound. Before he could close them again, Leah was darting her tongue between them, lapping quickly at the roof of his mouth, begging for more.

  Owen groaned, the sound of a man who was lost and knew it. Then he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her under him, pinning her to the bed in one swift motion.

  Leah gasped in surprise. The entire length of his hot, hard body was pressed against hers from breast to thigh. She could even feel the ridge of his cock rubbing against her inner leg, right where her thigh met her body. Owen deepened the kiss, his tongue invading her mouth as though he had every right, learning her, owning her in a way she had never been owned before. Leah could feel her nipples getting stiff and achy, and between her legs, she was wetter than she could ever remember. If only he would shift over just a little, that rigid length she felt rubbing her thigh would be in just the right place, and if she moved her panties to the side just a little bit…

  The realization struck like a bolt of lightning. God, what were they doing? Owen wasn’t her lover or some guy she’d picked up for a one-night stand. And her little experiment was getting way out of hand.

  “Owen,” she gasped, turning her head to the side to break the kiss. “Owen, wait. I don’t know if we should be doing this. I—”

  He rolled off her at once and sat up with his head in his hands. “You’re right, I know. I’m sorry, Leah.” His voice was low and choked. “I swore to myself I’d never touch you like that again, and here I go and do exactly what I’ve been trying to avoid for the past ten years.”

  His shame and self-recrimination bit deep. This was Owen, she reminded herself, and she loved him with all her heart. She didn’t want to see him hurt or beating himself up—especially since she’d caused the problem in the first place. She needed to find a way to help him—to heal him. To…

  “Show him the way.”

  The words seemed to appear in her head out of nowhere, and suddenly she remembered the sad look on the face of the man in her dream. The face that had been Owen’s and yet not Owen’s at the same time.

  Maybe she hadn’t been on the wrong track with the kiss after all. Maybe…maybe Owen needed to do this, needed to touch her in order to be healed of his guilt. But how could she make him see that? And would he even want to touch her that way? What would he think if he knew what she was contemplating? Would he hate her the way he seemed to hate himself? Leah couldn’t bear the thought. Couldn’t stand the idea of losing him again so soon.

  I’ll have to go slowly. Have to convince him that we’re doing the right thing. Because we are doing the right thing when we touch. I can feel it—feel how right it is for me to be in his arms. We belong together. If only I can show him that without making him hate me or himself any more.

  Leah nodded decisively to herself. Now she understood what Owen needed, what had to happen between them to make things right. She was going to have to take things very slowly and carefully, and it was going to be difficult, but it had to be done.

  He started to slide out of bed, but she caught his arm. “Hey, where are you going?”

  “To the couch. It’s better that way.”

  “No, it’s not,” Leah insisted. “Look, so what if things got