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  “Too late? What do you mean?” Mav asked. “You think I would’ve stopped being your friend if you came out?”

  “If it was just telling you I was gay, I woulda done it.” Duke looked at him earnestly. “But, Mav, by that time we were already roommates and I was…well, I was already in love with you.”

  “Are you still?” Mav stood and walked around the couch to be closer to his friend. “Still in love with me?”

  Duke frowned unhappily. “I wish I wasn’t. God knows I wish I wasn’t. But, yeah. I can’t help myself, Mav. Sorry.”

  “No, don’t apologize.” Mav took a step closer, feeling like he was being pulled by a magnet. After an entire week of not seeing Duke he felt starved for the other man’s company. It was like he’d been in withdrawal and suddenly he’d gotten a hit of what he needed most in the world. “I came over here to see you one last time. I just…I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  Duke looked down. “Goodbye then, Mav. I hope you have a great time in Tallahassee.” He turned and started to walk away and Mav felt his heart sink. Could Duke really walk away just like that, so easily?

  Stop him! screamed a voice in his head. Find some excuse to get him out of here and back to the apartment. Do something—don’t just let him go!

  “I, uh, wait,” he said, feeling like an idiot. “You, uh, you left some of your stuff at our place. I need you to come get it so I can finish packing.”

  Duke sighed and turned around. “Look, Mav, I’m pretty sure I got everything important when I left so if you could just—”

  “No, you missed some stuff and I don’t want to just leave it lying around when I go. Come on, man. It’ll only take a minute.” Inside he was as tense as a knotted fist. He wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do once he got Duke back to their apartment, he just knew that it was important to get him there.

  At last, to his relief, Duke nodded. “All right. If it’s only for a minute…” He looked at Evan. “Tell Ethan I’ll see him later, okay?”

  Evan nodded. “Sure. Take it easy.” He looked at Mav. “Remember what I told you,” he said and then left the room before Mav could say anything in reply.

  “Well, he’s a cryptic guy, isn’t he?” he muttered to Duke. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He was halfway afraid that Duke would change his mind but to his relief, his friend shrugged and followed him out the door.

  ***

  “Okay, here I am. Now show me what I forgot.” Duke stood in the mostly bare living room and turned in a circle, as though looking for his missing possessions.

  Mav hadn’t had any idea what he was going to do once he got his old roommate back to the apartment and he was still drawing a blank. He’d lied to get Duke back here but for what purpose? What was the point? Had he thought that once he got his old friend back on familiar ground Duke would magically forgive him and agree to go back to the way things were before? What was wrong with him? What was he supposed to do?

  Keep him in your life. Convince him to stay, that same little voice that had urged him to get Duke to come back to the apartment with him whispered in his brain. Mav agreed with it one hundred percent. Seeing Duke now, in the familiar surroundings of their apartment, brought home to him exactly how much he’d missed his best friend. The last week without Duke had been painful—heartbreaking. Was he really willing to go through that pain again, not only for a week but for the rest of his life, just because he didn’t want to admit what he was?

  So what am I? The answer came back almost immediately. I’m in love with Duke. Does that make me gay or what? Mav didn’t know, but he did know he didn’t want to risk losing the most important person in his life over a label. But how could he tell Duke that? After what he’d put Duke through would he believe it?

  “Well?” Duke was looking at him with a mixture of exasperation and annoyance and Mav realized he’d been standing there silent for the past few seconds, just thinking.

  “What did I forget?”

  Suddenly Mav’s body went into action independently of his brain. He’d thought enough and now he was ready to act. “You forgot this,” he said roughly. Grabbing Duke, he pulled him into a tight embrace and pressed his lips against his friend’s. God, what am I doing? Should I be doing this? He didn’t know. He only knew that it felt right and he wasn’t about to stop doing it until he had his fill.

  Duke fought the kiss for a moment and then seemed to change his mind. Melting against Mav, he began to give as good as he was getting. Opening his mouth, he invited Mav inside and Mav wasn’t hesitant at all in taking him up on the invitation. God, it felt so good, so right. Duke’s mouth under his was just like he remembered it. Mav wanted to drink him from the lips down, to explore every inch of him, to stake a claim that would never fade.

  “Wait a minute!” Duke broke away suddenly. “Stop, Mav, we can’t do this!”

  “Why not? You saying you don’t want to? ’Cause if you say that you’re lying.” Mav looked challengingly into his best friend’s eyes. “You want it as much as I do. I could feel it in the way you kissed me.”

  “Just because we want it doesn’t mean we should do it. Do you know how much what you said hurt me, Mav? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me to stay away from you?” Duke ran a hand through his spiky blond hair. “I’m tryin’ to fall out of love with you and it’s harder than hell. I can’t just start up again because you want one last fuck.”

  “What do you mean one last fuck? We never got to the first fuck,” Mav pointed out. “Which reminds me—you owe me one, roomie. I never got to collect on our dare the other night.”

  “What, are you kidding me?” Duke gave him an incredulous look. “You really expect me to do this with you just because I lost a dare?”

  “It’s as good a reason as any, isn’t it?” Mav raised his eyebrows. “If you need a reason, that is. Besides that you want me to fuck you, don’t you, Duke? You want me inside you as much as I want to be there.”

  “You sonofabitch,” Duke growled and for a minute Mav was sure he was going to punch him. Instead, Duke reached for him and pulled him close again. “Goddamn you,” he whispered fiercely and kissed Mav hard on the mouth again. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

  “Why would I want to do that when I…” It was on the tip of Mav’s tongue to say when I love you but somehow the words wouldn’t come out. They were true—he realized that now. Being without Duke for a whole week had taught him that. He needed the man he was kissing, needed him as more than a best friend, more than a roommate. He needed Duke as a lover, as someone he could count on to be there for the rest of his life. Forever. But if he said that now, when they were about to have sex—at least Mav hoped they were about to have sex—would Duke really believe it? Mav wanted it to mean something when he said it. He wanted his lover to know that he felt the words with his whole heart when he said them. So instead he said, “When I want you so much it’s driving me crazy.”

  “Maybe you’re getting a taste of your own medicine. You’ve been driving me crazy for the last four years.” Duke kissed the side of his neck, sucking fiercely as though he wanted to leave a mark. Mav groaned and gripped his lover’s hips, grinding their cocks together. It was happening, it was finally happening—he and Duke were going to fuck and he couldn’t think of anything else in the world that he wanted more.

  He steered Duke toward the bedroom, glad that he’d left his bed set up until the last moment. He hadn’t wanted to sleep on the floor his last night at USF. But he knew that the lack of a bed wouldn’t have stopped him. Even if there had been nothing but a bare wooden floor to do it on, he wouldn’t have cared. The driving force to be inside Duke, to claim him, was eating Mav alive. He felt like he couldn’t rest until he buried his cock deep in Duke’s unresisting body and fucked him hard.

  “Mav…Mav, wait,” Duke murmured breathlessly as Mav backed him up until the backs of his knees hit the mattress.

  “I’m done waiting. Want you now.” Ma