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  The AllFather scanned harder, digging deeper and more brutally than he ever had before, but Xairn was unmoved. At last there was a savage curse and he felt the corpse-cold fingers withdraw from his brain.

  “Why?” The AllFather glared at him. “You ssshould be brimming over with pain—ssshould be filled with agony. But I find nothing to feed upon, nothing to sssate my appetite.”

  “There is nothing left,” Xairn replied, and knew it to be true. He was hollow inside now, a shell. The part of him that had been capable of love, of pity, of pain, was gone. It had died the moment the spark in Sanja’s eyes had gone out. “You should be glad, Father,” he said, looking into the AllFather’s crimson eyes, so hatefully like his own. “Finally you have a son in your own image. One who feels as much—and as little—as you.”

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  “So are you and Sylvan going to wait awhile before you tie the knot?” Liv asked. It had been over three weeks since Sophie’s return to the Mother ship and the three of them were sitting on the floor in Kat’s suite having a girl’s night in. Due to Liv’s cravings, the menu consisted mainly of ice cream, ice cream, and more ice cream. “Well?” Liv asked again and took another spoonful of Chunky Monkey from the carton the three of them were sharing. She licked it slowly, clearly savoring its rich flavor. “Mmmm. So good,” she moaned.

  Sophie shook her head and laughed. “You’re too funny, Liv. The way you act, anyone would think you’d never tasted ice cream before.”

  “I haven’t—not like this,” Olivia protested. “I’m serious, you guys. You have no idea how good food can taste when you’re pregnant. It’s like everything I eat is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

  “Except for spaghetti and meatballs, right?” Sophie asked. There had been an incident just the other night with the now infamous Italian staple—one she was sure would never be repeated. Especially by poor Baird, who had been doing the cooking at the time. Liv had taken one look at the plate he’d placed proudly in front of her and promptly lost all the ice cream she’d had earlier for lunch.

  Olivia shivered. “Ugh, don’t even talk about that! Don’t even say it. Just the idea of…of S and M makes me feel like I’m going to hurl.”

  “Oh yeah? I thought you said Baird was uh, into S and M now.” Sophie nudged her sister and grinned at Kat, who gave her a weak smile in return.

  “Ha-ha, very funny,” Olivia said dryly, taking another spoonful of ice cream. “I never should have told you about that. I should have let you find out about the Law of Conduct on your own.”

  “Oh I’m not worried about Sylvan spanking me.” Sophie grinned. “He’s too busy biting me for that.”

  Liv shook her head. “How you got over your fear of needles enough to be into that I’ll never know. And if he’s biting you all the time, how we can’t see any marks on your skin?”

  “He heals me too,” Sophie answered promptly. “He just licks me and the little holes disappear. It’s amazing what he can do with his tongue.”

  “I’ll bet,” Liv said dryly.

  Sophie blushed. “I didn’t mean—”

  “I know what you meant. Anyway, back to your wedding—when are you having it?”

  Sophie licked her own spoon of ice cream thoughtfully. “I want to wait until Nadiah comes of age so she can be part of it. Of course her parents think I’m crazy, so they don’t want her to have anything to do with me. But she swears she’ll be here the minute she can legally come.”

  “Sounds like you bonded pretty quickly out there on Tranq Prime,” Olivia remarked.

  “Well, yeah. She was the only person there besides Sylvan that wasn’t absolutely horrible.” Sophie shivered. “I mean, don’t get me wrong—I’ll give the place another shot if I have to—especially now that MM2 is behaving itself.” She stroked the green tharp, which she was wearing as a shawl at the moment. “But I really don’t want to.”

  Liv made a face. “I just can’t believe you came back with one of those creepy live blankets and you actually made a pet out of it.”

  “So what?” Sophie said a little defensively. “MM2 is actually really sweet—you just have to know how to talk to it. Isn’t that right, MM2?” she cooed, stroking the tharp.

  Olivia just shook her head. “So how does Sylvan feel about you two ‘living in sin’ until Nadiah can be part of the bonding ceremony?” she wanted to know. “I mean, you do know that’s what Grandma and Grandpa Jakes would have called it, right?” Their mother’s parents had been notoriously strict about anyone living together without being legally wed.

  “Yes, I know.” Sophie sighed. “But they’re dead so it’s not like I can invite them to the wedding.”

  “I wouldn’t think you’d want to even if they were alive,” Olivia said. “That’s the reason they kicked mom’s sister, out of the family, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know,” Sophie admitted. “Mom would never talk much about Aunt Abby to me but I always got the idea that they were really close—almost as close as the three of us.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s the reason they got rid of her.” Liv took another bite of the ice cream which was almost gone. “I got the story out of Dad once. He said Aunt Abby got pregnant ‘out of wedlock’ and they kicked her out of the house when she started to show. Mom wanted to go be with her when she had the baby but Grandma and Grandpa forbid it. And then Aunt Abby died having the baby. It was a little girl and she was going to name it after Mom, only the…the little baby g-girl didn’t make it either.” She sniffed and her eyes began to water. “Dad said Mom never forgave herself for not being with her sister when…when she d-died. Oh God, I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes on a stray napkin. “Stupid pregnancy hormones.”

  “It’s all right.” Sophie put a hand comfortingly on her twin’s shoulder. “It is a really sad story. But to get back to your question, Sylvan doesn’t care how long we wait. I think the Kindred really do these ceremonies more for our benefit than for theirs—in his mind, we’re already married.”

  “I think Baird felt the same way once we were bonded,” Liv said thoughtfully. She blew her nose on a paper napkin and then nudged Kat playfully. “What about the Twin Kindred, Kat? How do they feel about ‘living in sin?’”

  “I wouldn’t know, since I’m not talking to any of them at the moment.” Kat tried to smile but it turned into kind of a grimace instead.

  “Kat, are you all right?” Olivia leaned toward her anxiously.

  Kat made a shooing motion with one hand. “Fine, I’m fine.” But her voice was barely there and her usually rosy cheeks were as pale as paper. Worse, the circles under her deep blue eyes were almost as dark as bruises.

  “No, you’re not,” Liv said firmly. “You’ve been quiet for weeks. Sophie and I were hoping you’d open up in your own time but we can’t wait anymore. You have to talk, Kat—tell us what’s going on. You’ve hardly said a word all night.”

  “And you haven’t eaten a bite,” Sophie pointed out. “I figured you and Liv would do battle once I pulled out the Ben and Jerry’s but you haven’t even had a single spoonful.”

  “Yeah, Kat woman, if you keep on like this you won’t be one of the ‘elite’ for long.” Liv’s tone was joking but it was clear she was really worried about their friend.

  “Sorry girls but for the first time ever, I’m just not hungry.” Kat put a hand to her head. “I’ll tell you, messing around with the Twin Kindred is a great diet plan.”

  “Really?” Liv asked.

  Kat nodded. “Seriously, Weight Watchers had better watch their ass. If word gets out they’ll lose half their membership and the HKR building will be packed with plus sized ladies looking for love in all the wrong places.” She tried to laugh but it turned into a groan.

  Sophie felt horribly guilty. “It’s because you had to join with Deep and Lock again to find me, isn’t it? Are you still feeling all their emotions?”

  Kat nodded. “They’re not fading like they did last time. And this headache…