Twisted: Brides of the Kindred 23 Read online

  “It’s the E’lo stone of course.” Mistress Hellenix waved a hand dismissively, as though Nikki should already have known this. “It grants immediate translation and language ability at the moment of transfer.”

  “You mean this purple M&M-looking thing?” Nikki held hers up and Mistress Hellenix nodded and held hers up as well.

  “I assume you found yours on this beach where I have been stranded?” she asked, frowning.

  “Well, yes.” Nikki nodded. “What about you? Where did you find yours?”

  “I didn’t find it—I own it. I own both of them, actually, but Commander Sylvan of the Kindred told me one had been lost in the oceans of Earth. The one you found must have washed on shore and you picked it up just as I was pleasuring myself with the other.”

  “I’m sorry, what?” Nikki asked. “I mean, I thought you said you were, uh—”

  “Pleasuring myself,” Mistress Hellenix said breezily. “The E’lo stone vibrates so nicely—I like to use it when I take my daily rejuvenation treatment. The virgin yerba-blood is especially good at conducting vibrations.”

  “What?” Nikki asked again blankly. Was she really saying she got off while she was lying in that bathtub filled with blood? How disgusting! And virgin yerbas? She had thought—hoped—that the blood came from animals. Now she wasn’t so sure. Was her evil twin a serial killer? “How many people did you kill to get that blood?” she demanded. “What kind of a person are you, anyway?”

  “People? Don’t be silly. Yerbas are little fluffy yellow creatures that live on Creetson Four. You just have to bleed them before they mate or else the blood is toxic,” Mistress Hellenix sniffed. “Anyway, we were both touching the stones at the same time and you, are apparently, an exact genetic match for me. Otherwise the E’lo stones couldn’t have transported us into each other’s lives.”

  “Well, let’s make them transport us back out again!” Nikki exclaimed. “I mean, you have a really nice place here, don’t get me wrong, but I’m over an hour late for work now and there’s no way my boss will believe I got transported to another planet by a purple M&M! It’s just not a credible excuse for being late.”

  “It’s not that easy,” Mistress Hellenix snapped. “Or it would have already happened.”

  “Well, how do we make it happen?” Nikki demanded. “It’s not just work I’m missing—I have to go to my twin’s school for their 504 Plan meeting. If I don’t, their benefits will get slashed.”

  “Goddess give me strength!” Mistress Hellenix rolled her eyes. “I can see I’ll be dealing with a lot of mundane tasks while I wait for you to get to me.”

  “While you wait for me to get to you? Why can’t you come to me? Or why can’t we get the stones to switch us back?” Nikki asked.

  Her evil twin gave a long-suffering sigh.

  “Don’t you know anything about E’lo stones at all?”

  “Uh, no.” Nikki glared at her. “How would I? I’m a realtor—not an expert on weird alien rocks that whisk you halfway across the universe the minute you touch them.”

  “All right, to be fair, not many are well-versed in E’lo lore,” Mistress Hellenix said grudgingly. “And to be honest, even those of us who have studied the ancient E’lo civilization and their technology still don’t know everything about them. But from what I understand, the stones can only transport those who are an exact genetic match—such as you and I must be.”

  “But…how is that possible?” Nikki asked blankly. “I mean, I’m an only child. I’m pretty sure my mom would have told me if I had a twin.”

  “Not twins—genetic matches,” the other woman corrected her. “Haven’t you heard it said that everyone has at least one perfect double in the universe?”

  “No—no I haven’t,” Nikki said. “But I guess you must be right—we must be, uh, really close in make-up to have switched like we did.”

  “Exactly. Now, to my understanding, the E’lo stones work only once. So you must come to me so that we can have our own lives back again. Oh, but not right away.” She got an annoyed look on her face. “The Banquet of Pain—I forgot all about it.”

  “The Banquet of what?” Nikki was certain she’d heard her wrong.

  “The Banquet of Pain—it’s a gathering of all the Mistresses on Yonnie Six who believe in the use of corporal punishment to train our slaves. I preside over it every year and I can’t back out now! You’ll just have to go in my place.”

  “But…but I don’t know anything about training slaves,” Nikki protested. “I’ve never even owned any!”

  “That’s too bad—you’ll just have to manage,” Mistress Hellenix said stonily. “And anyway, all you really have to do is give the opening address and then you can enjoy the rest of the banquet.”

  “The opening address?” This was getting worse and worse. Nikki wasn’t one of those people who feared public speaking more than death, but she did at least like to be know a little about the topic she was speaking on and Mistress Hellenix’s lifestyle was completely foreign to her.

  “Look, you’re going to love it.” The other woman waved a hand dismissively. “There will be vendors from all the training companies with examples of the latest nerve-conduction pain response devices and the food is fabulous—yoan grubs as big as your fist and rare loa fruits that will make you as horny as an ursus! I think we might even have some dream gas this year. Honestly, I’m sorry to miss it. It’s the social event of the season among the pain crowd.”

  “When…when is it? Is it tonight?” Nikki asked faintly, wondering how long she had to prepare for this awful party. Nothing Mistress Hellenix was telling her about it made her think she would “love” it at all.

  “Tomorrow night,” the other woman said briskly. “And you can leave to come get me as soon as it’s over. Tell my primary bodyslave, Malik, to ready the long-range cruiser—he can pilot it as well—and have him bring you here to…what is this place again? I know it’s somewhere on Earth but where?” She looked around herself disdainfully.

  “You’re in the Tampa Bay area,” Nikki told her. “But why don’t we meet somewhere in the middle—wouldn’t that be faster?” Maybe it would even be fast enough so she didn’t have to attend the awful Banquet of Pain!

  “It would be.” Mistress Hellenix nodded. “Do you have a long-range space cruiser here that I can use? All I saw was a rather dilapidated looking vehicle that actually had wheels on it!” She laughed as though the very idea was ridiculous. “Please don’t tell me it’s yours.”

  “Actually, it is,” Nikki said a bit stiffly. “It’s a car—that’s how we get around on Earth. But what I meant was, why don’t you ask the Kindred for help to get to me? Didn’t you mention you knew one of them earlier?”

  “Oh yes, Commander Sylvan—he’s actually the leader of the entire Kindred Council, I believe.” Mistress Hellenix sniffed. “Inasmuch as a male can lead anything.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Nikki asked blankly. “You don’t like him because he’s a man?”

  “Well, I mean males are inherently inferior, my dear,” Mistress Hellenix said condescendingly. “Don’t you find it to be true? Our whole society on Yonnie Six is built on the principle of female superiority.”

  “It is?” Nikki said, frowning.

  “Of course! That is why males must be enslaved—for their own good. And to keep them contained—they can be such brutes if they aren’t properly collared.” She shook her head and made a tsking sound.

  “I have to admit, I haven’t been overly enchanted with the guys in my life lately,” Nikki said, thinking of Gary’s cheating, not to mention Jude stealing his grandmother’s drugs and the twins being so embarrassed to have their mom around. “But I never thought about locking them up or putting, uh, collars on them.”

  “You should consider it—you really should,” Mistress Hellenix said earnestly. “The only good male is a collared male. But we are getting far from the subject at hand and the E’lo stones may break contact at any time