Ruby Shadows Read online

  “But you did?” He laughed, a little sadly I thought. “Ah, if only I had known. But it is too late—my betrayal is complete now.”

  I took a deep breath and looked up at him.

  “What—you mean the way you took my virginity? Or the way you formed a soul bond with me without telling me?”

  Laish nodded thoughtfully, clearly unsurprised.

  “I knew you would find out eventually. Especially once you realized I had stolen half of your soul.”

  “I should have figured it out sooner,” I said evenly. “Considering that instead of having only half my power I now have enough for a whole coven of witches.”

  “Do you really?” He looked interested. “I thought as much when I saw you use that word of power on Druaga. Most impressive, my little witch.”

  “I wasn’t trying to impress anyone—I was trying not to get raped,” I said evenly, trying to suppress the sick feeling in my stomach the memory brought up.

  “I am sorry I didn’t come to your aid sooner,” he said seriously. “I came as fast as I could—as fast as the Creator would allow.”

  “What?” I frowned at him. “Do you mean you met God? Uh—the Creator?”

  He nodded. “Remember when you said you thought I was dead and I told you that I was for a time? Well, I was. I did not survive my fall into the Abyss.”

  “You didn’t? You died?” I could scarcely believe it. “So then, what happened? How did you come back?”

  Laish sighed. “It is a long story. Why don’t we sit and I will tell you. Here…” He led me over to where a small blanket had been spread on the sand which was rapidly cooling now that the sun was almost gone. In the lengthening shadows, I saw his eyes were glowing deep red as he looked at me.

  We settled on the blanket and I wiggled a little, trying to get the sand under me to conform to a more comfortable shape. At last when I was ready, I looked up at him again.

  “All right—tell me.”

  “When I was dragged down into the Abyss the Ancient Ones took what they wanted of me.” He drew in a deep breath. “To put it bluntly, they tore me limb from limb.”

  “Oh, Laish!” I felt tears rise in my eyes and tried to blink them back. That was exactly the kind of thing I’d been afraid had happened to him, back when I’d been sure he was dead. To hear that he had actually suffered just as much as I’d been afraid he was suffering made me feel awful. Especially since he had basically sacrificed himself to keep those horrible, seeking tentacles from grabbing me.

  “It’s all right,” he murmured, cupping my cheek and brushing away a tear with his thumb. “Because thanks to your soul, I did not immediately revert to the Lake of Fire. Instead, I was drawn up to Heaven, to stand before the Judgment Throne. There I came face-to-face with the Creator for the first time since my fall.”

  “You did?” I stared at him. “And then what happened?”

  Laish shrugged. “He asked me if I had finally found what I left Heaven to search for. He asked if I had finally found love.”

  “And you told him…?”

  Laish smiled sadly. “I told him that I had, though I scarcely recognized it at first. I had been lost for so many eons I had forgotten why I left my post in Heaven in the first place.”

  “Eryn said it was because you wanted to be able to love the way mortals were allowed to,” I said. “Is that right?

  He frowned. “Eryn, your pet moth?”

  “Who turned out to be an angel. You mean you didn’t know about that?”

  He shrugged. “I came in at the last minute, as you recall—barely in the nick of time. My negotiations with the Creator took some time.”

  “God negotiated with you?” I could hardly believe it.

  “Not really—the Almighty does not actually negotiate. But he did give me a choice.”

  “Which was?”

  Laish looked down at the sand covering our toes.

  “He told me I can return to Hell and live as I have been for so long. If I do, I will retain my powers and status in the hierarchy of the Infernal Realm as well as my ability to change forms. But I will be only a demon with no soul and no hope of redemption. Or…”

  “Or what?” I asked, unable to hide the curiosity and eagerness in my voice.

  “Or I could retain my soul—the final shred that is left, anyway, after using the thrak on both the Ancient Ones and Druaga—and give up most of my powers to live a mortal life.”

  “A mortal life? You mean, like a normal life span?” I asked. “Like seventy or eighty years instead of seventy or eighty million? Or billion—or whatever?”

  He gave one of his deep, soft laughs.

  “My life will be more like a thousand or so years, I believe. I will need some time to make up for all the harm I did as a demon.”

  “But still…even a thousand years is a drop in the bucket when you consider how long you’d live as a demon,” I pointed out.

  He smiled sadly. “My darling, if only you knew how the years can drag when you have no one to live for—no one to share them with. And the Creator has promised that after my life span is up, I can be judged as a mortal and pass into Heaven as one as well.”

  “So you’re considering it?” I asked. “What about your powers?”

  He shrugged. “Gone. Well, most of them anyway. I still retain some of my smaller abilities.” With a wave of his hand he made two wine glasses half filled with ruby red liquid appear and handed me one.

  I took a sip.

  “What about your different forms? I know you gave up your dragon form during the fight with the Skitterlings. But what about your true form?”

  He spread his hands. “Gone. This is my true form now—as it will be permanently if I choose to take the Creator’s offer.”

  “Really?” I stared at him. “And you’re okay with that? With leaving Hell where you’re a Prince of Night and Shadows and have legions of demons to command and coming to the Mortal Realm where you’re just plain Laish with uh, no demons to command?”

  “I didn’t leave Heaven in the first place because I wanted to rule and command,” he said mildly. “That was Lucifer’s sin. I left with him because I wanted our kind to be allowed to love and bond together as the mortals do. I left seeking love…and then I found you, Gwendolyn.”

  I looked away. “You only think you love me. The Eternal Flame—remember?”

  “Is that what you think?” I could see him frowning from the corner of my eye.

  “Well, that’s what Belial said,” I pointed out. “And you said yourself you didn’t know why you loved me.”

  “It was because I had been without a soul for so long that I forgot I could love,” Laish said quietly. “At first I did not even recognize the feeling inside that I had for you. I knew only that I wanted to protect you, to be with you and care for you. I didn’t understand why until I stood before the throne of the Creator and looked into his eyes.”

  “How did that help?” I asked.

  “Because God is love,” Laish said earnestly. “Seeing him reminded me of the small part within me that was still uncorrupted. The part that can love deeply and unconditionally. The part that drew me to you in the first place.”

  “But the Eternal Flame—”

  “The effects of the Eternal Flame only work on creatures that have originated in Hell. I was once a creature of Heaven. And can be again, if I agree to the Creator’s plan.”

  “What’s stopping you, then?” I said softly. I was almost afraid to look at him as I asked, wondering what he might say next.

  Laish sighed. “What stops me is the fact that I do not wish to stay in the Mortal Realm by myself, without you. Yet I know you cannot love me back. Not after the way I betrayed you—first in stealing half your soul and then in forming a soul bond with you without asking your leave. It is…unforgivable.”

  “It would have been nice if you’d asked,” I admitted. “I mean, I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. But…I guess maybe you would have told me if