Surrendered Read online

  “It’s wonderful,” Sophie said, smiling. “We actually have a whole group of women who are friends up here. We’d love to introduce you…if you stay.”

  “Well, I guess that will depend.” Neh’sa bit her lip. “How long…how long does it take for a Kindred pregnancy to show?” she asked.

  “You mean if a Kindred is the father?” Liv asked. “Not too long after you, uh, have the encounter, actually. Maybe a day or two.”

  “Then…I may be contacting you soon and asking to take a test. You do have such things here on board?” Neh’sa asked.

  “What, a pregnancy test? Oh yes.” Liv nodded. “The Kindred pregnancy test is actually really adorable because you put in your blood sample and then you get a flower that tells you what’s going on.”

  “A white flower means not pregnant,” Lauren said. “A pink flower means a girl and a blue flower means a boy.”

  “But watch out if you get a blue and a pink flower,” Sophie added, laughing. “Because that means twins and let me tell you, mine keep me hopping!”

  “So…have you all had children with Kindred males?” Neh’sa said.

  “Well, Kindred and Scourge,” Lauren amended. “But my guy has some Kindred DNA too. So, yeah, we have.”

  “What…what are they like?” Neh’sa asked.

  “Excellent fathers,” Liv said decisively and the other two women nodded.

  “The best,” Sophie said. “Very patient with the kids—sometimes I think Sylvan is a better mom than I am!”

  “It sounds…nice. I was raised by my mother but I do remember my father a bit,” Neh’sa murmured. “He died when I was very young, before we moved to Yonnie Six.” It had been one reason her mother had decided to move them when she inherited a place as a Mistress in Opulex.

  “You could do a lot worse than to have kids with a Kindred,” Liv told her, pressing her hand. “They’re certainly better than human men.”

  The other two girls nodded in agreement.

  “When I think of some of the jerks I dated back on Earth…” Lauren shook her head.

  “I’m sure…” Neh’sa began but her words ended in a yawn. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said to her new friends. “I’m just…suddenly exhausted.”

  “After the day you’ve had, no wonder.” Sophie smiled at her understandingly. “Is there anything else we can do for you before we go?”

  “No…no thank you.” Neh’sa yawned again. “Oh, excuse me.”

  “No excuse necessary, hon,” Liv told her. “Come on, girls—let’s let her get some rest.”

  “We’ll send everything we promised over to you,” Sophie told her. “But don’t feel like you have to wait up for it. There’s a one-way delivery slot at the foot of the door. People can leave packages for you that way and you can get them whenever you want.”

  “Thank you—all of you—for everything.” Neh’sa looked at them gratefully. “I can’t tell you how much better it made me feel to…unburden myself to you.”

  “Girl talk always helps,” Sophie said, smiling.

  “And we’re available for more of it anytime you want,” Liv promised. She leaned over and gave Neh’sa a spontaneous hug. “You know, I think you’ll like it here if you give it a chance. I hope you decide to stay.”

  “Well…thank you.” Neh’sa, who was unused to such displays of friendly affection, found she liked the gesture. Tentatively, she hugged Liv back.

  “I hope so too,” Sophie reached around to hug her and then Lauren did as well.

  “I’ll send you more cupcakes along with the other food,” she murmured in Neh’sa’s ear. “I notice you seem to like them.”

  “They’re pretty much the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” Neh’sa admitted with a laugh which surprised even her. “We have nothing like them on Yonnie Six.”

  “You have to tell us more about your home planet when you get a chance,” Liv said as they all got up to go. “I mean, we’ve heard stories but never from an actual Mistress who lives there. You must lead a fascinating life.”

  Neh’sa thought of her life—which mostly consisted of training slaves, attending social functions where most of the other Mistresses might be out to discredit or hurt her, and working long hours in her Mercy clinic out of guilt for the lifestyle she led and sorrow for her loss of Heroth.

  “I don’t know about fascinating,” she said at last. “But it was…satisfying. In some ways, at least. Though often frustrating and saddening as well.” She put a hand to her mouth just in time to catch another yawn.

  “We’d better let you go. We can talk about it another time,” Liv said. “Come on girls—Baird is going to be wondering where I got to.”

  “I have to go pick up the twins and meet Sylvan for supper,” Sophie said. “What about you, Lauren?”

  “I’ve already got something going in the taste-cooker,” Lauren replied. “But Xairn usually waits for me to get home before he’ll eat.”

  Neh’sa thought their domestic situations sounded perfect if somewhat strange. She was used to having droids and servants do much of her domestic duties although she had learned by her mother’s side to do them herself when she was a girl. She tried to imagine herself working and cooking and raising children on the Mothership with Thorn at her side, not as a body-slave but as an equal, a partner…

  The idea was surprisingly easy to imagine but Neh’sa doubted that it could ever become a reality. There were still lingering doubts in her mind…worries and sorrows that could not be easily overcome.

  I need to rest—need some time to myself, she thought as she waved to her three new friends and watched them leave.

  But would time to herself help her decide if she could believe Thorn’s claim that he cared for her?

  After his betrayal and everything she had been through, Neh’sa just didn’t know.

  * * * * *

  Though he tried not to eavesdrop, Thorn could feel her wondering, through their new bond, whether she could ever trust him again. Whether she could forgive him and believe that he cared for her.

  Can you blame her for being doubtful? whispered a little voice in his head. You misrepresented yourself to her—lied to her for so long. And what was the one thing she said she couldn’t tolerate when she first bought you at that auction?

  “Dishonesty,” he said aloud, staring into the empty darkness of his private quarters. He’d hoped to bring Neh’sa here—instead she was installed in one of the single guest suites across the ship. Not that he blamed her for wanting time away from him. After the way he’d treated her during their bonding…

  He closed his eyes, hating himself, wishing he could have done things differently—that he could have told her the truth.

  The secret wasn’t mine to tell, he argued with himself. I couldn’t jeopardize my mission and the possible fate of my entire race for love.

  It was true but all the same he felt uncomfortable. He could hear Neh’sa wondering if anything he’d told her was the truth—if he hated her for what she’d done to him…

  Wait a minute.

  Thorn had been lying on the sleeping platform but now he sat up, frowning. Did Neh’sa really think he hated her for the way she’d dominated him? Did she think he’d faked all his emotions, that he didn’t want that kind of relationship—the kind she craved?

  Well, how did he feel about it? Thorn asked himself honestly. He’d gone into his mission on Yonnie Six expecting it to be torture to give himself sexually over to a dominant woman. Instead he’d found…love. He didn’t want to be dominated all the time but then, he didn’t think that Neh’sa wanted to dominate all the time. What if they just…took turns?

  And what if she turns you down flat and doesn’t want anything to do with you ever again? whispered a pessimistic little voice in his head. You couldn’t blame her if she did.

  No, but he was hoping she wouldn’t. He had to give her a reason to see that he loved her—a reason to trust him again, Thorn thought.

  Suddenly, he had an idea.