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Saber swiveled in his chair to see Merrick, the huge half Blood, half Beast Kindred striding toward him. He was absolutely the largest male Saber had ever seen—well, excluding the Beast who had been Lady Hake’bean’s slave on Yonnie Six, that was. Still, Saber couldn’t help being in awe of such a large and powerful male.

  “Hello, friend.” Merrick smiled at him. “You’re the Touch Kindred everyone was so pissed about having on board before you got those lost scrolls and became a hero, right?”

  “Right.” Saber turned back around and slumped in his chair. “Don’t remind me.”

  “Sorry. Didn’t know it was a touchy subject.” Merrick sat down beside him and thumped the bar with his huge knuckles. “Hey, where’s the drink my friend ordered?” he demanded, glaring at the mechanoid.

  “Your pardon, sir. But this gentleman is at his limit. I cannot serve him anymore,” the mechanical intoned hollowly.

  “Fine then.” Merrick slapped a cred chip on the bar. “Give me a bottle of fireflower juice and two glasses and make it quick.”

  “An entire bottle?” The mechanoid looked at him uncertainly. “But I am not programmed to sell an entire bottle at once. Unless the subject is over seven standard feet tall and weighs over three hundred pounds, there is no way he could safely metabolize so much alcohol.”

  “Take a look at me.” Merrick gestured to himself. “I fit the fucking description, right?”

  The mechanoid appeared to be scanning him and then doing a series of calculations. “Actually, you do.”

  “Good. Then serve me one whole bottle of fireflower juice and two glasses. Now.”

  Saber wasn’t sure if mechanoids were able to feel intimidation but this one certainly seemed to. It moved so fast serving the huge hybrid that its mechanical arms were little more than a blur. In short order an entire bottle of the milky white fireflower juice and two shot glasses were sitting in front of Merrick.

  “Good.” The hybrid nodded in satisfaction. “Now go clean the other end of the bar and don’t bother me again unless I ask for more.”

  “Oh, sir,” the mechanoid protested. “After serving you an entire bottle, there is no possibility of me serving you even more.”

  Merrick glared at it for a long moment. “What the fuck did you say to me?”

  If a mechanoid could look scared, this one certainly did. “I said…I will be over here cleaning the bar until you wish further libation, valued customer.” It eased carefully away and began cleaning the far end of the bar vigorously with a damp cloth.

  “That’s better.” Merrick grinned at Saber and poured them both a drink. “Here you go—to drowning your sorrows.”

  “To drowning my sorrows.” Saber clinked glasses with him—he enjoyed the Earth custom of saluting your drinking companions that he had picked up while staying on the Mother Ship.

  Merrick downed his shot of the strong liquor in one gulp and poured himself another. “Although if you don’t mind me saying, I don’t see what sorrows you have to drown, friend. Since you brought back the scrolls that told how to defeat the enemy, you’re accepted and respected here on the ship. You could settle down here if you wanted to—you and that pretty little female who went with you.”

  Saber frowned and took another sip of his own shot. He could feel the potent fireflower juice working on him and he didn’t want to say anything he would regret.

  “Actually, that was exactly my plan,” he said, after giving it some thought. “But I can’t now.”

  “Why?” Merrick downed another shot and refilled Saber’s glass as well. “If you don’t mind me asking,” he added.

  “I don’t care.” Saber frowned. “I can’t always promise to answer but you can ask all you damn well want.”

  “Okay.” Merrick took another drink. “So I’m asking. What’s wrong?”

  “Why do you care?” Saber countered, taking another drink himself. He knew he should slow down but the fireflower juice was so smooth and mellow on his tongue he couldn’t seem to stop drinking it.

  Merrick shrugged, his huge shoulders rolling. “I guess because you’re an outcast, like me. Not an outcast really but, you know…” He made a vague hand gesture. “Different. Even back when everyone was pissed off we let a Touch Kindred aboard, I wanted to get to know you. Just never got the chance until now.”

  Saber gave him a look from the corner of his eye. “Must be hard—being the only one of your kind.”

  “You tell me,” Merrick shot back. “I don’t know any other Touch Kindred who would have been willing to break his people’s taboos to go on a mission to Yonnie Six with the girl he loves.”

  Saber frowned. “How…how can you tell I love her?”

  “It’s written all over your face, Brother. Every time you look at her.” Merrick clapped him on the back and poured him another drink. “It hurts to see you so fucking miserable. And my Elise says your girl is hurting too. She’s moping around all the time, looking like she wants to die. So what is it that has the two of you so upset?”

  Saber shook his head. “I…I can’t talk about it.”

  “Sure you can.” Merrick poured him another drink. And another and another until Saber felt dizzy.

  “I…” He shook his head as Merrick waited. “I can’t…” No matter how much he wanted to unburden himself, he couldn’t make himself explain the humiliating circumstances behind his split with Lissa.

  “Just tell me,” the hybrid urged. “What exactly happened there on Strap-on Central that split the two of you up?”

  Saber started and nearly fell out of his chair. He looked at Merrick in horror. “You…what did you just say?”

  “What, you mean Strap-on Central?” Merrick grinned at him. “That’s just what we used to call Yonnie Six. I haven’t lived my whole life on the ship, you know. I used to be freelance—did a lot of smuggling. That was our nickname for that crazy planet.”

  Saber felt sick. “So everyone knows…what goes on there?”

  “Oh, I doubt it.” Merrick made a dismissive gesture and poured himself another drink. “Kindred steer clear of it. They have the right genetic combination to mate with us but the way they treat their males…” He shook his head. “Not fucking good.”

  “I agree.” Saber sighed and took another drink himself. He tried to remember how many fireflower shots he’d had. Was it three? Five? More? Whatever the number, the alcohol seemed to be lubricating his mind. All the embarrassing, shameful memories he’d been trying to suppress suddenly came back. And then he heard himself say,

  “I thought it would be no big deal.”

  “Uh-huh.” Merrick nodded sympathetically and didn’t ask what wouldn’t be a big deal, which encouraged Saber to go on talking.

  “It was the only way to get the scroll. And I thought I could handle it. I mean, I’d been acting like Lissa’s slave for days. I helped her get dressed, I fed her, massaged her…” The memory of rubbing her naked body all over until she came for him made Saber hard and he shifted uncomfortably. “Hell, I even got down on my knees and kissed her foot every time we went somewhere new. And I had no problem with it. None.”

  “Doesn’t sound so bad,” Merrick said neutrally, pouring him another shot.

  “That’s the thing—it wasn’t.” Saber drank the fireflower juice and sighed. “I really enjoyed it because it meant I got to be close to her, to touch her. But I was just playing a part. When we…did what we had to do to get the scroll…”

  “It got real?” Merrick suggested.

  Saber nodded. “Exactly. I just…I never expected it to feel so…so…damn good.” He could feel his face getting red and he took another hurried gulp of fireflower juice to cover his embarrassment.

  “So let me get this straight…” Merrick took another drink too. “Lissa fucked you and you liked it and now you don’t know who you are or what’s wrong with you.”

  “Exactly!” Saber put his elbows on the bar and cradled his head in his hands. “I…I shamed myself, Brother. You should have heard me—