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“Because I have to tell you, Olivia, I’m not looking for a quick fuck.” He caught her gaze with his own and wouldn’t let her look away. “I don’t want to do this half way—I want all of you.” His voice was a low growl, filled with desire. “That means my cock all the way inside your hot little pussy. My mating fist locking us together while I fuck you and come in you over and over until you’re mine forever. Are you ready for that?”
His hot, explicit words and the blazing need in his gold eyes sent a shiver of lust through her entire body. “I’m ready,” she assured him breathlessly. “And…and that’s what I want too. I want you all the way inside me.”
“But why?” he persisted pulling out of her and putting some distance between them with an obvious effort. “Why the change of heart? I don’t want you doing this out of a misguided sense of guilt or pity.”
“I’m not.” She leaned forward again and gave him a long, leisurely kiss on the mouth. “And I’m not doing it because I can’t help myself either. It’s because I want you and I want to be with you…forever.”
“Gods, Lilenta, I love you.” He crushed her to him in a hug that nearly took Liv’s breath away. “Which is why I can’t do this with you. Not tonight.”
“What?” Liv pulled back and gave him a look of disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
“Afraid not.” He shook his head firmly.
“But…but I thought I’d lost you.” Liv blinked back tears. “And then when I finally get you back and all I want to do is be with you forever you say no. Why?”
Baird sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not because I don’t want you. Gods, Lilenta, I have never wanted anything more than I want to fill you with my cock and bond you to me right here and now.”
“Then why don’t you?” Liv demanded. “Please, Baird—I’m ready now.”
“I’m not sure you are. Look, Olivia…” He pulled her close and looked into her eyes. “I just don’t want you to rush into anything. I don’t want us to do something now, tonight in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later. Remember—once I bond you to me, it can never be undone. We’ll be one forever.”
“I understand. That’s what I want.”
Baird kissed her and nuzzled her neck. “And if you still want it tomorrow after you sleep on it, believe me, I’ll be more than willing to give it to you. But not now—not tonight. For tonight just let me hold you in my arms and breathe in your sweet scent.”
Liv appreciated what he was trying to do in delaying their bonding but she still felt irritated. “I can’t believe this. You’re taking us back to the first week—to the holding week.”
“Yeah, if you wanna think of it that way,” he growled. “Which means no touching under your clothes. And since you’re sitting naked in my lap about to drive me crazy I think it’s time we got up and you put something on.”
Before Liv could protest further he’d somehow fastened his pants over his still erect cock and was getting off the couch. She was left sitting there, exposed and more than a little upset.
Baird must have seen the hurt in her eyes because he knelt beside the couch and took her hands in his. “Try to understand, Lilenta,” he murmured. “I just want you to be absolutely sure. I don’t want us to have an incomplete bonding.” He kissed her palms gently and looked into her eyes. “I thought I’d lost you once. I don’t ever want to feel that way again. If we bond, I want it to be the most complete, strongest bond possible. One neither one of us will ever regret for a minute.”
“Baird—”
“I’m sorry.” Rising smoothly, he walked out of the living area leaving Liv on the couch alone.
Well this certainly isn’t how I pictured the night ending! Splashing sounds from the bathroom let her know he was probably taking a dip in the bathing pool. She started to get up and go join him when she realized he probably wouldn’t allow it. Damn! Liv had never felt so sexually frustrated in her entire life and she knew in her heart she was ready—truly ready to become one with Baird. But how could she convince him of that? How could she make him see that she wanted him to do more than hold her? It drove her crazy to have to start from the beginning all over again, made her frustrated beyond belief that they were back to the strict guidelines of the holding week.
Suddenly an idea began to form in her head. The holding week, hmm? We’ll just see about that. Humming to herself, she hopped off the couch and went into the bedroom.
If she hurried, she could be ready when he came out of the bathing pool.
Baird had hoped that a long, relaxing soak in the bathing pool would help him relax and forget his need for his bride but so far it wasn’t happening. He kept seeing Olivia spread out and open for him, begging him to take her. In the past he would have jumped at the chance but his time with the Scourge had made him hesitant. In his mind’s eye, the scenes the AllFather had shown him played over and over in an endless loop. Olivia angry and accusing, demanding to know why he had taken her away from her family. The look in her eyes when she told him she didn’t really want to be with him—that she wanted to leave, to go back to Earth and never see him again…
Lies, everything that bastard told me, everything he showed me—all lies, Baird told himself uneasily. Because that was what the AllFather did—he took your memories and hopes and dreams and warped them. Twisted them just enough to plant a seed of doubt. But even knowing that, Baird couldn’t get over the uncertainty he felt.
Closing his eyes, he tried to push the false memory away but the real one which took its place was even worse. The hurt look in Olivia’s eyes when he’d turned her down, refused to bond with her. The distress in her voice when she’d begged him to take her. I hurt her. I should go to her—make it right. But he couldn’t. Even though he wanted her with every fiber of his being, he couldn’t let himself take her until he was certain she was ready. Not after she’d spent so long fighting and resisting him. And not after the AllFather’s seed of doubt had been planted deep in his head.
I’ll just hold her tonight, Baird told himself. He knew the scent of a willing female—the one female in the universe who was right for him and who was ripe and ready for bonding—would be a torment almost past endurance. But he had no choice. He had to give her a little more time to think—time to be sure—before he took that irrevocable step.
Sighing, he got out of the bathing pool and dried himself thoroughly. Putting on his black sleep pants, he headed for bed. It was going to be a difficult night but somehow he had to get through it. And if Olivia really still felt the same way tomorrow and wanted him to bond her—
His train of thought was cut off abruptly by what he saw when he opened the bedroom door.
Olivia looked up eagerly when the door opened and had the pleasure of seeing the stunned look on Baird’s face when he took in her outfit.
“Lilenta?” He looked at her uncertainly, desire and doubt warring in his amber eyes. “What in the seven hells do you think you’re wearing?”
“This?” Liv gestured down at her outfit. It consisted of a crimson see-through bra which clearly showed the hard points of her nipples through its open weave lace and a tiny black pleated skirt so short it barely deserved the name. It started low on her hips and ended at the tops of her thighs. When she shifted and the flirty pleats of the skirt flared up, a pair of red lace panties which matched her bra were revealed. It was absolutely the naughtiest thing Liv owned and she had never had the nerve to wear it before. But desperate times called for desperate measures and from the look on Baird’s face, he was rapidly becoming as desperate as she was.
“Yes, that.” Baird was positively glaring at her now. “What the hell is it?”
“Nightclothes.” Olivia smiled at him. “You told me to put something on, so I did. Why, don’t you like it?”
Baird ran a hand though his hair. “You know damn well I do. But can’t you wear something different? Where’s that long, ugly gown you were always wearing during our first week?”