Sought...Book 3 in the Brides of the Kindred series Read online

  “Of course, Aunt Abby.” Olivia looked chagrinned. “And we’re really sorry for not telling you in the first place. “We just thought…well, obviously we thought wrong.”

  “Obviously,” Aunt Abby agreed. “Oh, and you can expect a visit from Detective Rast. He’s going to be coming up soon to see what other information he can get.”

  “Of course, he’s welcome to come.” Sophie nodded eagerly.

  “I’ll talk to you later. If you get any more information about Lauren or her whereabouts, I’m always available.” Aunt Abby nodded once more and was gone.

  “Whew.” Sophie put a hand to her head. “That wasn’t so good. I guess we should have told her in the first place.”

  Liv frowned. “We agreed not to for her own good. Though I guess I can understand how you’d want to know any information you could about your child.” She cupped her still-flat belly protectively.

  The maternal gesture caught Kat unawares and she nearly started crying again. I’ll never get to meet Liv’s little boy, she realized suddenly. Never get to hear him call me ‘Aunt Kat’ or have any babies of my own. Oh God…

  A knock on the viewing room door interrupted her morbid thoughts. She looked up to see Deep standing there, his broad shoulders slumped wearily.

  “Yes, what is it?” Olivia asked him at the same time Sophie chirped,

  “Did you find it? Did you find the cure?”

  “Forgive me,” he said heavily. “But could I please speak to Kat alone?”

  Liv and Sophie exchanged glances that held a world of silent communication. They nodded at the same time. “Of course,” Liv said quietly. “We’ll be outside in the hallway if you need us.” They stepped out together, the door whooshing shut behind them.

  “Did you find anything? What did Mother L’rin say?” Kat tried not to sound too eager but she couldn’t help herself. Surely the wise little healer would be able to help her. Surely…but Deep was shaking his head.

  “I’m sorry, Kat but she says there’s nothing she can do.”

  “Nothing? Nothing at all?” Kat could scarcely believe it. “No magic plants or herbs. No spells? Just…nothing?”

  “Forgive me.” Deep bowed his head. “I have failed you in the worst possible way.”

  “No.” Kat shook her head, trying to keep back the wave of despair that was threatening to drown her. “No, it’s not your fault.”

  “It is my fault,” he said forcefully, looking up. “I was the one who insisted we cut the bond between us. I was the one who pretended I didn’t…didn’t love you so that you would agree to our separation.”

  Kat’s breath caught in her chest. “What are you saying?”

  “That I do love you. Oh, Kat…I’ve been such a fool. Such a Goddess damned fool when it comes to you.” His voice was hoarse with emotion.

  “Deep—”

  “I’ve always loved you,” he went on, taking her hand. “From the moment Lock and I first laid eyes on you. He was male enough to admit how he felt but I…I was afraid. So afraid that what had happened once before might happen again.”

  “I know about that,” Kat said quietly. “About Miranda. I saw it when I was dream sharing with you. I know how deeply it affected you.”

  “You didn’t seem to want us at first,” Deep said, examining her small hand in his big one. “I hardened my heart against you then. I told myself I wasn’t surprised that such a gorgeous elite female wasn’t interested in joining with Lock and me. After all, we’d already had our chance once and failed miserably. Or I should say, I failed miserably.”

  “It wasn’t your fault Miranda killed herself,” Kat protested.

  “Yes it was. Just as it’s my fault you’re going to…to…” Deep shook his head, apparently unable to go on.

  “You don’t have to say it.” Kat squeezed his fingers. “And it’s not all your fault. I was against being with you and Lock to start with. It was scary—the idea of being with two guys at once—really big guys too. And having your emotions in my head all the time, at first it was awful. Now…now I kind of miss it. Miss feeling you, Deep.”

  He raised his head. “When did you change? I thought you seemed different while we were on Twin Moons but I didn’t let myself believe. I was too afraid. And then you collapsed after we made love and I told myself it was for the best if you didn’t want us. I was so afraid, you looked so much like her at that moment.”

  “I understand,” Kat said quietly. “I thought it might be something like that. But as for when I changed my mind about you and Lock, It was so gradual it’s hard to say. I think it was on Twin Moons, before we were captured by the natives, when I first realized how nice it could be feeling you and Lock inside me.” She blushed. “Uh, you know what I mean.”

  Deep smiled sadly. “Yes. Don’t worry, I won’t mock you.”

  “That’s a change.” She gave him a tiny smile back. “Anyway, I noticed that when both of you were in harmony, when you were loving each other and…and caring for me, it was wonderful feeling your emotions. Like being filled with sunshine. I think that’s when I began to feel less opposed to the idea of being bonded to both of you permanently, even if it was an unconscious rather than a conscious decision.”

  Deep sighed. “Lock and I haven’t had many of those brotherly moments lately. I’ve made him hate me—just as I tried my damndest to make you hate me, Kat.”

  “Well, you never really succeeded.” She squeezed his hand. “Although I certainly thought you were an asshole.”

  “I was,” he said seriously. “And a bastard and any other Earth vernacular names you can think of to call me. But worst of all, I was a fool. Lock and I could have had you in our lives forever if I hadn’t been so arrogant and cowardly. Now…there’s nothing I can do except admit my faults to you and say goodbye.”

  “Deep—” she started to protest but he shook his head.

  “I do not ask for your forgiveness. I know full well I am beyond redemption.” He sighed and looked into her eyes. “But please let me say it once more—I love you, Katrina O’Connor of Earth. I love you with everything that is in me. I will never forgive myself for the way my foolish actions have harmed you. And for this…” he brushed her wounded cheek with his fingertips. Kat felt the tingle and knew the curling green lines must have progressed. But she didn’t pull away from his touch.

  Deep studied her eyes for a long moment. Searching for something, Kat thought. But what? If he was searching for hatred or recrimination he didn’t find it. Even though she was going to die, Kat couldn’t bring herself to hate him. He had acted horribly but in the end, it was her best interest he’d had in mind. He was trying to save me…save me from himself. And now it’s too late.

  “Kat…” Deep’s voice was filled with need. He pulled her close and Kat didn’t fight him. She expected a desperate, burning kiss filled with passion and Deep didn’t disappoint her. But then, suddenly, the kiss turned gentle and his touch was soothing rather than demanding. This is how he could be all the time, if only he let himself, she thought as he deepened the kiss, sucking her lower lip tenderly before exploring her mouth. If he could let go of his past, his bitterness, his fear. If he could have let himself admit he loved me before it was too late…

  She clung desperately to him, her heart drumming in her ears, feeling like she was going to die if he let her go. But you’re going to die anyway, no matter what, a little voice in her head reminded her. Kat pushed it away. She didn’t want to think of that right now. She just wanted to let herself melt against Deep and know, finally truly know that he loved her.

  Even if it was too late.

  At last he pulled back and studied her face. “Thank you.” His voice was hoarse and there was a bright sheen of tears in his bottomless black eyes. “Thank you for not hating me.”

  “Deep, I could never—”

  “Forgive me, but we need to use the viewing room.” Two Beast Kindred officers came in with Olivia and Sophie trailing behind them.

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