Instructing the Novice Read online

  But his prayer was cut off because just before he could raise his hand to knock, the door slid open revealing a red-haired, full-figured female he recognized as a friend of Lizabeth’s. He couldn’t remember her name, but he knew she was named for some kind of Earth animal.

  “Oh, hello!” The girl looked surprised and then pleased to see him. “Lone, right?”

  “Yes, I am Lone.” Lone bowed to her formally. “Forgive me, but your name escapes me. I know it is an Earth creature. Are you Bird? Or possibly Rat?”

  “Close.” She laughed. “I’m Kat but spelled with a 'K,' not a 'c' like cat the furry Earth pet. Anyway, come in—I was just going out to find you.”

  “You were?” Lone frowned as he stepped inside. “Why?”

  “Because it’s about time the two of you sat down and talked,” Kat said firmly, ushering him into the living area. Lizabeth was sitting there on the couch, looking so lovely Lone felt his heart seize in his chest.

  Her long dark hair was damp, as though it had been freshly washed and she was dressed in a long, lacy white gown. A white lace robe that went with it was belted modestly around her waist. She looked up at him, her big gray-green-blue eyes meeting his for the first time in over a week.

  “Hello, Lone,” she whispered, in a low, hoarse voice. “How have you been?”

  “Worried about you.” Lone came over to her. He wanted to sink to his knees at her feet but somehow he restrained himself. She might fear you now, he reminded himself. “May I sit by you, Lizabeth?” he asked quietly.

  In answer, she patted the cushions beside her.

  “Well, I think my job here is done.” Kat gave them a satisfied look and nodded to herself. “Remember,” she said to Lizabeth. “You have to have some contact if you want to get rid of the eye-spikes.”

  “The what?” Lone frowned at her but Lizabeth only shook her head.

  “Never mind. Thank you, Kat, for all your help.” Her usually lovely alto voice was still that same, hoarse whisper. As Kat nodded and left the suite, Lone turned back to Lizabeth, concerned.

  “What’s wrong with your voice?” he asked, frowning. “Have you had a cold while you were in the med center?”

  “You don’t know?” Lizabeth looked at him in apparent surprise. “I thought Commander Sylvan would have told you everything about my…my diagnosis.”

  Lone was becoming more and more worried but he tried to keep his voice quiet. He had learned in his support group that it wasn’t uncommon for a female to fear her Kindred for a while after she had seen him go into Rage—especially if he had done violent things to protect her. It might take Lizabeth a while to believe that he would never, ever hurt her and had only gone into Rage because she was threatened. Therefore, he kept his face and voice calm though it wasn’t easy.

  “No,” he said. “A patient’s medical history and records are private. You and I are not…formally mated so Commander Sylvan would only say that you were getting better and that you…” He cleared his throat. “You didn’t want to see me.”

  “More like I didn’t want you to see me in the state I was in. The state I’m still in,” Lizabeth whispered.

  “Then…you don’t fear me? You weren’t avoiding me because of all the terrible things you saw me do when I…when I came to get you?” Lone asked tentatively.

  “No.” Lizabeth shook her head. “I know it sounds awful but part of me wished—still wishes—that I could have been the one to do them.” She put a hand to her throat. “My voice is hoarse because I ruptured some vocal chords screaming when they were…were torturing me.”

  “Gods!” Lone ran both hands through his hair, his intention to be calm and soothing forgotten. “I’m so sorry, Lizabeth,” he exclaimed, getting up and beginning to pace in front of the couch, mainly because he couldn’t hold still. “It’s all my fault. I should have gotten to you sooner! I should have stopped them! I—”

  “Stop.” Lizabeth put out a hand and caught him by the wrist. The touch of her soft, small hand on his sent a shiver down Lone’s spine. He stopped pacing and looked at her, wishing she would touch him more.

  “Lizabeth,” he said hoarsely. “I am so damn sorry. I failed you.”

  “You did everything you could—you saved me,” she whispered gently. “It could have been so much worse, Lone. I don’t blame you—don’t blame you for any of it.”

  “I blame myself,” he said savagely. Sighing angrily, he sank back down onto the couch. “You know, I’ve spent the past week or so in a support group for males who have gone into Rage and committed terrible acts. I thought I’d come to terms with what I did.” He shook his head. “Now I just want to do it all again…but worse this time.”

  “I know how you feel,” Lizabeth whispered. “And no, I’m not afraid of you Lone. Just…” She sighed. “Just afraid of what you think you feel.”

  “I don’t think, I know.” Lone took her hands in his, looking earnestly into her eyes. “Lizabeth, I love you. I have for years now—it’s just that I only recently felt free to tell you so.”

  “Well…thank you.” She shifted uncomfortably and he could feel uncertainty and disbelief coming from her side of their partial bond.

  “Why, Lizabeth?” he asked, addressing her emotions instead of her words. “Why won’t you believe that I truly love you? That I want to spend the rest of my life with you?”

  “Because you have so much life left ahead of you,” she said, frowning. “Because I’ve been down this road before—I mean, I’ve dated a younger man—and it didn’t end well. I can’t help thinking…” She sighed. “Can’t help thinking it’s going to end badly this time too.”

  “Tell me about it—this previous relationship,” Lone said earnestly. “Let me understand what happened to you before so I can assure you it won’t happen again—not with me.”

  “It’s an old story—it happened years ago,” she protested.

  “Clearly it’s still with you, though,” Lone said. He frowned at her sternly. “I promised myself I wouldn’t leave you until I got answers from you tonight, Lizabeth. So please, talk.”

  “It was before I met my ex-husband, Bernard,” she began tentatively. “I was…teaching a class at a local college as a favor to a friend. She had to leave halfway through the semester and she couldn’t find anyone to take over. The law is my first love but I also enjoy sharing it with others so…”

  “So you agreed to teach for her. Go on.” Lone made a motion with one hand.

  “So…” Lizabeth sighed. “There was a student in the class—a boy named Arturo. Well, I say ‘boy’ but he was probably twenty-three or four. He just seemed so much younger because I was already in my thirties. Anyway, he came up to me after the class and asked some pretty insightful questions. He was flirty too and I felt…well, flattered I suppose.” She gave a whispered laugh that was self-deprecating and then winced and put a hand to her throat. “Sorry, I’m going to have to cut this short.”

  “Because it hurts to talk.” Lone lifted one big hand and stroked lightly over the side of her neck. He was glad when she didn’t pull away from his touch. “Now that we’re closer I feel your pain. I’m sorry, Lizabeth.”

  “It’s all right.” She shrugged. “Anyway, Arturo and I had a relationship. I told myself it was no big deal—that I was just having fun. But I was lying to myself—I was actually falling for him pretty hard.”

  “And did he love you as well?” The thought of her loving another male was painful but he had to know.

  “I thought he did,” Lizabeth whispered. She looked down at her hands. “That was, until I saw him making out with a pretty little co-ed that couldn’t have been more than twenty. I got a little closer and heard them talking about me. He was…” She coughed dryly. “He was telling her how he had me wrapped around his finger—how his grade for the class was an ‘easy A’ because I couldn’t get enough of him.”

  “The bastard!” Lone growled indignantly. “How dare he use you like that?”

  She sh