SovereignsChoice Read online

  “Oh that.” Lexy shakes her head. “I thought you knew—couldn’t you feel it when your magic was coming in?”

  I remember the strange tingling in my scalp, the burning in my eyes, the aching in my bones. But still… “I didn’t know,” I say in a shaking voice. “Lexy, you should have told me. I thought there was a stranger in the room.”

  “Oh, hon, I’m so sorry!” She hugs me but her arms around me feel different somehow. Looking in the mirror again, I realize why—we’re the same height now!

  “Lexy…” I gasp, pulling away. “I…I’ve grown. I can’t believe…I don’t understand…”

  “It’s just what happens when your magic comes in,” she says. “Like a second puberty. Remember how I used to be short and pudgy and have stringy dishwater blonde hair before I got my powers?”

  I do vaguely remember that. But my cousin has spent so many years being tall and slim with her gorgeous waterfall of long auburn hair that I can barely recall the way she looked when we were both kids. Of course, everyone knows that a witch gets her true eye and hair color when her magic fully manifests for the first time. I just never expected it to ever happen to me. Apparently tonight it did.

  “You’re a late bloomer,” Lexy says gently. “But you’ve got some of the strongest magic I’ve ever felt, cuz. That’s why it made such a dramatic difference when it finally came.”

  “But…” I look at my new reflection, frowning. I don’t mind the hair—it’s actually the exact same shade as my mother’s hair. Just thinking of her makes me wince so I hurry on, trying to catalog the other changes. I’ve never heard of anyone really having purple eyes but mine are now—a deep jewel-like amethyst fringed with thick black lashes. They’re startling—arresting in a way my old muddy hazel never was.

  Despite the more obvious changes to my hair and eyes, what’s hardest to get used to is my new height. My body feels strange—stretched out, taller. But I can’t help noticing that even though I’ve grown a couple inches, I still have a fuller figure than my slender cousin. Which is so not fair. If I’d been able to change anything about myself, I would have wished to change my weight. I want to be skinny and sylph-like instead of hourglass shaped. Why did the magic change everything but that?

  Then I realize what I’m thinking. Who cares what I look like now? Not when I just found out that I’m responsible for my mother’s death and Aiden has left me. Who cares about anything? I might as well lie down on the bed and just die.

  “You stop that right now.” Lexy shakes me.

  I look at her, startled. “Stop what?”

  “I can hear every word you’re thinking and I don’t like it one bit!” she snaps. “Your mother loved you. She knew what happened wasn’t your fault. Kids make mistakes—you were only eight.”

  “But I killed her, Lexy,” I protest. “That’s more than just a mistake.”

  “For the Goddess’ sake, Emma, you’re acting like you went after her with a gun!” Lexy sounds exasperated. “You were precocious—you had a huge power crammed into your little body and it was leaking out like crazy. Remember how I told you what I overheard your mom telling my mom about you being the most powerful witch in a generation? And besides, you were trying to protecther when you started that fire.”

  “I know that, Lexy,” I whisper. “I know it in my head. But in my heart I can’t help feeling…feeling that I’m to blame. I loved her so much.”

  “And she loved you too, honey.” Lexy hugs me again, enfolding me in a fierce embrace, pressing her cheek to mine. “She knew you started the fire but she forgave you for it. What were her last words to you?”

  “She said…” I close my eyes, the memory of my mother wreathed in flames pressing down on me like a weight. “She said she loved me.”

  “Of course she did.” Lexy strokes my hair. “She never stopped loving you, no matter what. She forgave you and in time, you’re going to have to forgive yourself.”

  I know she’s probably right but it’s hard to think about now. So hard when all I want to do is just curl up in a ball and stop breathing.

  “There you go again.” Lexy pulls back and shakes me. “Stop it with the suicidal thoughts already, Emma!”

  “How…” I clear my throat. “How can you even hear me?”

  “It’s your witch-whisper, of course,” Lexy says. “Now that you’ve learned it, you don’t seem to know how to shut it down.”

  “It’s the magic.” I feel stricken. “There’s too much of it and I can’t control it—any more than I could back when I was eight. Goddess, Lexy, I’m a walking time bomb!”

  “No you’re not,” she says fiercely. “You’re just a very powerful witch who hasn’t been trained to control her powers. But don’t worry, we’re going to fix that. I’ll work with you every day until you get them under control.”

  “But…what about tonight?” I look at my hands apprehensively, expecting to see blue sparks shooting from my fingertips again at any moment. “What if I accidentally light your house on fire like I did back when I was eight?”

  “You won’t,” my cousin says calmly.

  “How can you be sure?” I start to move away from her. I should go sleep out in the yard. Or better yet, in the middle of a swimming pool or anyplace that’s not flammable…

  “I put some magic dampers in the bath,” Lexy says. “You’ll be safe for tonight and the dampers will have worn off in the morning so we can work on getting your magic under control.”

  Hearing this makes me feel a little better. I’m so glad I have a best friend like Lexy. She might seem ditzy at times but when the going gets tough, she does too and I know she won’t let me down.

  Lexy makes a face. “I’m glad to have you as a best friend too, Emma. And I’m going to let the ditzy part go…this time.”

  “Oh!” I put a hand to my mouth, aware that I was projecting again. “I guess I’d better go get that bath.”

  “Guess so.” Lexy smiles and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I know everything seems horribly overwhelming right now but you’re going to get through it, Emma. I promise.”

  I kiss her back. “Thanks, cuz. I hope…I really hope you’re right.”

  But inside I doubt it. I doubt it very much.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I spend the next several weeks at Lexy’s house, working on my magic. Surprisingly, learning to control it is not as hard as I feared it would be. I’ve already been through all the lessons, back when I was twelve and thirteen and still waiting for my powers to manifest. And I’ve watched my cousins and my aunt practice all my life. So it’s just a matter of putting what I already know into action.

  I also try to make peace with the past. I go to visit my mom’s grave and tell her how sorry I am. Sometimes I can almost feel her presence and when I look in the mirror, I see her staring back at me. I know what Lexy says is right—she loved me and forgave me. The question is, will I ever be able to forgive myself?

  But the thing that hurts me the most, even more than learning the traumatic truth about my mom, is Aiden’s abandonment. I thought he cared for me, that he wanted to keep me by his side. I guess I was wrong. But then…what about the way he claimed me? The way he insisted I was his and only his? The way he said he loved me. Did he only say those things in the heat of the moment, because we were in such an extreme situation? Lexy assures me that’s what guys do—they make all kinds of promises, swear eternal love and devotion, say whatever it is they think you want to hear—but none of it means anything.

  It’s hard for me to believe that about Aiden. I thought he was different. But as Lexy points out, even if he’s a centuries-old vampire, he’s still a guy. And guys are fundamentally untrustworthy, at least according to her.

  I keep waiting for him to call, hoping he’ll prove her wrong. Even if he’d just pick up the phone for a minute to make sure I’m okay, I’d be so happy…but he doesn’t. He doesn’t call and he doesn’t come into the shop on the days that I work. For all intents and p