Forgotten Read online

  “I do, baby. The problem is, I want you a lot closer than you want to get right now.” There was a soft growl in his voice that sent a shiver through her.

  “So what…if I won’t give myself completely and go back to the way…the way you remember us being before, then you don’t want me?” Kate asked, challenging him.

  “No—it’s not like that. It’s…” He shook his head. “I can’t explain it. But I do want you. Kate. Please, look at me.” He lifted her chin gently when she wouldn’t and Kate looked unwillingly into his eyes. “I don’t just want you—I need you,” he breathed, holding her gaze with his. “And that’s all I can say right now. So please, can we just eat? Before your delicious sandwiches get cold?”

  Kate sighed. There was sincerity in his piercing blue eyes. Clearly something was going on with him but he didn’t feel comfortable discussing it yet. Well, she supposed she could wait. After all, he wasn’t the only one sending mixed messages. She felt like she’d never been so mixed up and confused about a man in her life and yet she still felt drawn to the big Kindred. Drawn in a way she couldn’t remember being drawn to anyone else.

  “Okay,” she said lightly, picking up half of a sandwich. “Open wide.”

  Rone opened his mouth obligingly and ate half the sandwich in a single bite.

  “Mmm…” His eyes rolled up in his head as he chewed and swallowed. “Just as good as I remembered. Gods, I’ve missed your cooking.”

  “And you said you weren’t hungry.” Kate eyed the decimated sandwich skeptically. “Also, I thought you said we shared the cooking.”

  “We do. But there are some things you make I just can’t seem to get right. This is one of them.” He took another bite from the sandwich she held. “I always burn them for some reason.”

  “You have to watch them,” Kate said, taking a dainty nibble from the half he was holding out to her. “The second side gets done way faster—”

  “Than the first side. I know.” He grinned. “You’ve told me that again and again but I somehow always forget and end up with a half burned sandwich.”

  “No burning the sandwiches on my watch.” Kate popped the rest of the first half into his mouth. “This is my specialty.”

  “I know. I’ve missed it so much. Missed you so much, baby.”

  His gaze was so intense, Kate had to drop her eyes. Forgetting herself, she picked up the second half of her sandwich and tried to take a bite without having him feed it to her. Her teeth clicked together hard and she gasped as she bit her tongue.

  “Ouch!”

  “Are you okay?” Rone looked down at her anxiously.

  “Fine.” Kate put a hand to her mouth for a moment but she wasn’t bleeding. “Just bit myself when I tried to take a bite.” She shrugged ruefully. “I forgot I couldn’t manage without you.”

  “I never forgot I couldn’t manage without you,” Rone said softly and she knew he was talking about more than just the meal they were sharing.

  “Well…” Kate gave him a shy smile. More and more she was feeling drawn to him, despite their weird circumstances and the warning her Knowing had given her. Now that the fear toxins were gone, she could understand what her past self must have seen in the big Kindred.

  “Here.” Rone held out the sandwich to her. “No need to go biting yourself when you made such delicious sandwiches for us to eat.”

  Kate smiled at him and took a cautious bite. This time her teeth bit into the crisp bread and melted cheese with no problem. As she chewed, words suddenly rose to her mind.

  “All that I have, I take from your hands. All that you take, I give from my heart,” she murmured.

  “What?” Rone looked at her, his eyes widening. “What did you say?”

  “I don’t know.” Kate shook her head. “Just something that came to me. Why—do you know it?”

  “Do I know it?” He put down the sandwich and looked away for a moment, blinking his eyes fiercely.

  “Rone…?” Kate looked at him anxiously. “Are you okay? Do those words mean something to you?”

  “They’re from our vows—they’re what you said to me at our Joining ceremony.” His deep voice was slightly choked but then he took a deep breath and looked at her. “Do you remember any more?”

  “Sorry but no.” Kate shook her head. “I’m really sorry I said them if it upset you so much.”

  “No—don’t you see? It proves that your memories are still down there somewhere,” he said earnestly. “Just waiting to be brought back.”

  “But brought back how?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” he said in a low voice. “Maybe just like this…doing things together that we used to do. Sharing a meal…me telling you about our past.”

  “Maybe.” Kate gave him a shy smile. “I do enjoy it. I mean—this is nice, you know?”

  “I love spending time with you too,” Rone murmured. “There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you now, Lalli.”

  Kate opened her mouth to ask once and for all what “Lalli” meant but just then a bored sounding voice echoed through the little apartment bubble.

  “Attention: this is your pre-sleep warning. You have two solar minutes to attend to your night time rituals. After that, Lights Out will be in effect. Thank you.”

  “Oh!” Kate looked around, as though she could find the source of the voice just by listening. “Lights out?”

  “Apparently it’s almost bedtime here.” Rone yawned. “Actually, it has been one long damn day.”

  “It certainly has,” Kate agreed. “But, um, what about sleeping arrangements?”

  “Well…” He frowned. “I guess we’re meant to share the bed. But if you’re uncomfortable with that…”

  “No,” Kate said thoughtfully. “No, it’s okay with me.” Even a day ago she would have been made uncomfortable with the idea—horribly so. But she was beginning to know Rone now and she found she didn’t mind touching him—in fact, she liked it. As long as he felt the same way. Which made her wonder exactly how much touching was going to be involved in sleeping together on the bed. “But…um…” She cleared her throat.

  “Yeah, baby? What is it?” Rone raised an eyebrow at her.

  “I’m just thinking…wondering…” Kate could feel her cheeks getting hot. “I mean, how much do you think we’ll have to be, you know, touching, for the bed to support us?”

  “I don’t know.” Rone frowned. Just then the lights flickered and went out, plunging them into complete blackness. “But I have a feeling we’re going to find out,” he finished dryly.

  “Oh!” Kate looked around uncertainly. “I can’t believe this! They barely gave us any time to get ready for bed and now I can’t see a thing.”

  “Well, I can. Here.” Rone picked her up again and she gave a little gasp of surprise and clung to him.

  “Don’t do that without warning me!” she exclaimed.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He sounded contrite and in the darkness, Kate could see that his eyes were glowing a faint blue.

  “You just startled me—that’s all. I’m not used to being picked up and carried all around,” Kate said.

  “Yes you are—you just don’t remember it.” He moved confidently in the utter blackness, not bumping into anything though Kate was sure if she’d tried to go anywhere herself she would have been running into everything.

  “My, uh, friend, Emily said something like that. She said you were always helping me down from high places and carrying me all around.” She shrugged. “I didn’t think it sounded like me but maybe I got used to it.”

  “You didn’t just get used to it,” he murmured, his deep voice rumbling in the darkness. “You enjoyed it. Enjoyed being my Lalli.”

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Kate said. “What exactly does that word mean—‘lalli’? Is it some kind of pet name you had for me?”

  “Well…” He shifted a little and she had the feeling he might be uncomfortable or uncertain as to how she’d react to