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  “Well, we can’t do anything about it now,” Elaina pointed out practically. “We need to find out more about where the silver sphere and the little healer are. And in order to do that, we need to get an invitation to Krumf’s Private Baths.”

  “You said we have to do something to catch his attention, right?” Terex frowned. “But what?”

  “I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.” She yawned. “God, suddenly I’m so sleepy.”

  “Then you should rest. We both should.” Terex cupped her soft cheek in his palm. “Thank you, Elaina.”

  “You’re welcome. But what are you thanking me for?”

  “For listening to my story without judging me…without hating me as I hate myself,” he said seriously.

  “You need to stop with the self hate,” Elaina told him. “I can tell by talking to you how much you loved your wife. The two of you had something special—just because it didn’t fall inside the Kindred society’s norms doesn’t make it bad or evil.”

  He sighed. “I wish I could believe that.”

  “You should,” Elaina told him earnestly. “And while you’re at it, forgive yourself for what we’ve done here and what we’re going to have to keep doing until we get out of here. Remember, the priestess said you would have to embrace it.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” Terex said honestly. “But I suppose I should try to obey at least one of her commandments—she also told us to reveal our true selves and I didn’t do that.”

  Elaina yawned again. “About that—we’re not worried about the real Master Valdor coming back, are we?”

  “After all this time? Probably not.” Terex shook his head dismissively. “My belief is that he died somewhere in the far distant reaches of space, or perhaps he simply got lost in the Blind. At any rate, even adding in the possibility of time travel, the chances of him suddenly coming back now are, I would judge, slim to none.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Elaina sighed and snuggled into her pillow. “Because that would be super awkward.”

  “To say nothing of incredibly dangerous,” Terex remarked dryly. He settled beside her, propping the ridiculously rich gold brocade pillow beneath his head. But though he tried to relax, sleep eluded him.

  Finally, he realized what the problem was—he hadn’t slept in the same bed with anyone since Solange had passed to the other side.

  “Are you okay?” Elaina asked him softly. “You seem kind of restless over there.”

  “I am,” Terex admitted. “I haven’t slept with anyone since my mate died. It feels strange to sleep with a female…”

  “Do you want me to find someplace else to sleep?” she asked.

  “Gods, no! I don’t want to drive you out of bed.” He frowned. “And you didn’t let me finish. I was going to say it feels strange to sleep with a female but to be so far away from her. To not…” He cleared his throat. “To not hold her in my arms.”

  “Would you like to hold me?” she murmured, scooting closer to him. “Because if you want to…I don’t mind.”

  “I would love to.” Terex reached for her and she flowed to him as smooth and easily as water flows downhill. He tucked her much smaller body against his own, noticing that the top of her head fit perfectly under his chin. A warm feeling of contentment suffused him as he felt her snuggle against him.

  “Mmm…this is nice.” Elaina’s soft voice drifted up as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I haven’t slept with anyone in a long time either. It feels…right.”

  It felt right to Terex too—so right that he had to remind himself it was only temporary. We’re here on a mission, he reminded himself. And once we get what we need and leave this place, I still have to find Two’s scion and kill the son of a bitch.

  It startled him to realize that he hadn’t thought of his mission of vengeance in quite some time. It had occupied his thoughts completely after his last encounter with the Dark Kindred on the Mother Ship. The thought of vengeance and death had filled him like dark, muddy water, to the exclusion of everything else.

  Then Elaina had come into his life—had forced her way through the door he’d thought was barred and locked and welded shut. She’d let the light in and drained some of the fetid swamp of self loathing inside him.

  A question floated up inside him…

  Do I still long for death?

  He was surprised to find that he wasn’t sure anymore if bloody vengeance and a swift and honorable death were what he truly craved. The small female in his arms was warm and soft and tempting…though tempting him towards what, Terex couldn’t exactly say.

  Maybe after this is over we could build some kind of a life together, he thought. She hadn’t turned away from him when he’d revealed his past and she seemed as attracted to him as he was to her. Could it be possible that he could bond her to him and have the happiness he’d enjoyed with Solange?

  You don’t deserve happiness, whispered the hissing voice of guilt in his brain. Not after the things you did to Solange…the things you’re doing to Elaina now.

  Terex tried to push the voice away but he was only partially successful. Even as he drifted off to sleep with Elaina in his arms, his thoughts and dreams were troubled.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Oh, I’m so glad to see you again! Did you enjoy the banquet last night?” Jessa spoke freely instead of using the hand slang since they were in a room filled with women. An antechamber on the outer edges of the vast Royal Baths, which appeared to take up most of one entire wing of the palace.

  All around them women were laughing and taking off their clothing, getting ready to go into the main bathing area. Their voices echoed off the white and gray stone walls and bathing attendants, also women, moved among them, gathering and storing valuables in little bins labeled with the owner’s name and handing out “bathing garments” to each one.

  “Uh, yes. The banquet was…fun.” Elaina tried to smile. She noticed that the one item none of the women were removing was their collars. Damn, she’d hoped to have some time out of the solid gold ring around her neck. She’d gotten used to wearing it by now but she still didn’t like it much.

  “It’s always so exciting to come to the palace.” Jessa dropped her voice. “My favorite is when they give us the yummy silver syrup though—it makes me feel all tingly.”

  “It…uh, gave me the tingles too,” Elaina confessed, remembering the burning lust she’d experienced and the way Terex had helped her control it. To be honest, she was still feeling extremely hot and bothered this morning. Maybe sleeping in the big Kindred’s arms had something to do with that, she thought as she pulled the skimpy pale yellow silk outfit she’d been wearing over her head. Her eye was itching again too—she had no idea what that meant. When she got home, she fully intended to go to an ophthalmologist and get it checked out…

  “Elaina—are your nipples darker than they were before?” Jessa’s voice broke into her train of thought and Elaina saw that her friend was frowning as she surveyed her bared breasts. “And your pussy looks darker too. It’s such a deep pink it’s almost rose.”

  “I’m fine—I feel fine.” Elaina looked down at herself uneasily. Why were her nipples and outer pussy lips so dark? And why did she feel the same, urgent need she’d felt the night before when Terex had needed to “help” her?

  “You’re sure you don’t have the Need?” Jessa hissed in her ear. “Because if you think you do, you ought to get checked out.”

  “I’m sure I don’t,” Elaina said with more firmness than she felt.

  She couldn’t help remembering what Zerana had told her the night before—that the Need could be passed through touching or tears. She hadn’t touched the bare skin of any of the Needy Ones they’d met on the streets of the city yesterday but the woman she tried to help had been weeping copiously…

  No, don’t be ridiculous, she told herself. You’re fine—it’s just the after effects of that damn syrup.

  “I’m fine,” she said again. “I just h