Falling for Kindred Claus: A Kindred Tales Novel (Brides of the Kindred) Read online

  “What?” This was sounding more and more bewildering to Asher. “They bring a real tree into their domicile to decorate?”

  “Not always real,” Dru said. “Ours is artificial and came out of a very large box in sections which had to be fitted together. My new bride, Annie, and I set it up yesterday. Then she sprayed it with scent from a can to make it smell real. After that we hung the baubles and some long, shiny tubing called ‘tinsel’ on it. Lastly, she placed a minor household deity called an ‘angle’ at the top of the tree, to watch over our Christmas festivities. Then we sang traditional songs called ‘carols’—which I was not very good at. Annie says she thinks I am ‘tone deaf’ whatever that means. But she enjoyed trying to teach me the songs anyway.”

  “Decorating a fake tree and singing ridiculous tribal tunes?” Asher growled. “Why do you put up with such nonsense?”

  Dru shrugged. “It makes my bride happy. Annie loves sharing ‘Christmas traditions’ with me. They are not all bad, you know. She has been baking many different varieties of small, sweet confections called ‘Christmas cookies’ that taste delicious. She even baked a large one for my Drake.”

  Asher shook his head.

  “But all these customs sound so strange. Even more bizarre than the Horvaths’ Fertility Festival where the entire population dresses as stinging insects and performs the mating dance by ‘poking’ each other with their ‘barbs’.”

  “It gets even stranger,” Dru admitted. “There is also the tradition of Satan Clause.” He frowned. “Or is it Santa Claus? I always get the two mixed up though one is the bringer of all Evil and the other is a portly older male in a red fur suit who creeps into domiciles at night and leaves presents for good children and lumps of dirty carbon for bad ones. He lives at the very top of Earth and employs tiny creatures called ‘elves’ to make playthings. Oh, and he has magical ruminants called ‘reindeer’ who are able to fly and who pull him through the air on the night he makes his deliveries.”

  “Neither one of these entities sounds desirable to meet. Are you expecting this Satan Clause to try and break into your domicile soon? You had better be on your guard!” Asher cautioned him, frowning.

  Dru shook his head.

  “No. According to Annie, he is a fictional character, only used to make young ones behave. They fear to get carbon lumps instead of presents on Christmas morning if they are bad. They have a belief that this Santa—or Satan—Clause is able to see them at all times—whether they are asleep or awake. He knows if they have displayed acceptable or unacceptable behavior and notes their names down on a list of either ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ children for his records. There is even a Christmas carol about it which Annie attempted to teach me though she said I sang it very badly.”

  He smiled as he said it, as though it didn’t bother him to have failed in this particular holiday festivity.

  “You don’t seem upset that you were unable to complete the tradition satisfactorily,” Asher pointed out.

  Dru shrugged.

  “Annie gave me a small spice cake to eat shaped like a person called a…I think it’s a ‘tinder-bread male,’ for trying. She says it’s the thought that counts—which is the same principle behind choosing gifts. Though I am not allowed to give her cleaning appliances for our domicile unless she specifically asks for them,” he added, frowning. “However, I am allowed to choose lingerie for her, which she wears only for me—which is very pleasing,” he said, brightening.

  Asher couldn’t help thinking that despite the ridiculous festivities his old friend was being put through, he seemed happier than Asher had ever seen him.

  He tried to suppress the pang of jealousy which suddenly stabbed him—where had that come from? It wasn’t like he begrudged Dru his good fortune in finding a bride to bond with. And it wasn’t like he would want such a thing himself. Being stuck on a strange planet decorating fake trees and eating confections shaped like people didn’t sound in the least appealing, he told himself firmly. And he was especially glad he wouldn’t have to deal with this strange “Satan Clause” in his red fur suit with his flying ruminants and his lumps of dirty carbon!

  “Well, I’ve taken enough of your time telling you these strange Earth traditions, old friend. You’d better get going if you’re going to meet your contact in time,” Dru said, breaking into his train of thought.

  “Send me the coordinates,” Asher said. “And you say I’m to look for someone dressed in red or green?”

  “Or red and green—holiday garb,” Dru said earnestly. “You’ll know it when you see it—believe me. And don’t worry about speaking first—the contact will approach you directly.”

  “All right.” Asher would have liked a more specific description but he was certain he could figure it out. After all, he’d been in the Elite Espionage Corps for over ten standard years now—he knew what he was doing. And it helped that the contact would be on the look-out and would know to approach him.

  “Very good—sending coordinates now. May the Goddess be with you, Brother,” Dru said seriously.

  “And with you,” Asher replied in the same tone. “Give your new bride my regards.”

  “I certainly will.” A warm smile spread over Dru’s face so naturally that Asher was certain he didn’t even know it was there. Clearly having a female in his life had made all the difference for him.

  He suppressed another pang of jealousy as his old friend signed off and a long list of coordinates began to scroll across the screen. It was foolish to wish for something he could never have.

  As the viewscreen finally went dark, Asher looked at his reflected image and considered if he looked sufficiently human to land on Earth with no problems.

  He had fangs like a Blood Kindred—though they would only sharpen enough to be noticeable if he met a female he wished to bond with—which was to say never. But instead of blond hair and pale blue eyes like the Blood Kindred, he had black hair and deep green eyes that showed his Tangala heritage. And though he was, like all Kindred males, around 30% larger and more muscular than an Earth male, he should still be able to pass for one of them.

  Yes, he decided, he was ready to go down and find out the details of his mission. Perhaps it would help him to stop feeling the strange longing that had begun when he heard Dru talking about his new bride.

  Chapter Two

  Lisa James was having a shitty life. Not just a rotten day or a bad week or even a terrible month. No, her whole entire life was awful and shitty, she decided as she looked out at the long, long line of restless kids and impatient adults waiting in line in front of Santa’s workshop. It was only a week before Christmas—peak season—which meant more and more parents had decided it was a good time to get a picture with Santa at the mall.

  Only there was no Santa to take a picture with. Not at the moment, anyway.

  “Where is he?” Lisa muttered to herself for the thousandth time, as she peered out the back of Santa’s Workshop—which was really just a prop building where the Santa suit was kept. The mall was coordinating with a local charity that had ties to the Kindred Mother Ship and they had promised that one of the big, alien warriors would come and play Santa that afternoon. But so far the big idiot—whoever he was—was a no-show and the kids were getting restless.

  I’m going to have to go out and make another announcement soon, Lisa thought, dreading the idea. Something about how Santa’s reindeer were hungry and he had to stop and feed them or some Christmassy crap like that.

  The crowd was not going to be happy. The line snaked away from the front of the cute little picket fence that surrounded Santa’s Village all the way down past Bath and Body Works, which was near the other end of the mall. The kids at the front had been waiting for over an hour already and they kept wanting to play in the fake snow, which got all over their cute little Christmas outfits and into their hair and made the tired, irritated parents even more pissed off than they already were. Toddlers squirmed and babies cried and the moms’ and dads’