Pairing with the Protector Read online

  Rafe gave a harsh, barking laugh—a sound with no humor in it at all.

  “It wouldn’t matter if someone was kind enough to take us directly to the ship and put us in it,” he said dryly. “Because we are never getting home, Whitney. Never.”

  “What? How can you say that?” She put a hand to her throat, feeling panic trying to choke her. “How can you take such a fatalistic view? I thought you wanted to escape as much as I do!”

  “Of course I want to,” Rafe said harshly. “But if we escape, we’ll only be running from one danger to another. We’re trillions of light years from any point in space the Kindred have charted. I didn’t see a single landmark I recognized in the star charts I studied and there are no stable worm holes either.”

  “But…the worm hole that brought us here—” she began.

  “Is what you humans call a ‘crapshoot’,” Rafe interrupted her harshly. “The chances that it would even take us back to anywhere near the Mother Ship are a trillion to one.”

  He had told her as much before, but somehow hearing him say the words again felt like a stone against her heart.

  “So what are you saying?” she demanded. “That there’s no hope—none at all?”

  “Not of getting back to the Mother Ship and Earth,” Rafe said grimly. “The universe is vast and ever expanding. You must resign yourself to the fact that in all probability, we will never see home again.”

  Whitney lifted her chin, her eyes flashing.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a girl who just resigns myself to things.”

  He shrugged. “You can do as you please. It won’t change the facts of our situation.”

  Whitney poked a finger at him. “It seems to me that you’re letting the ‘facts’ of our situation make you give up. What happened to the warrior who wanted to escape and get out of these damned cages? You’re a grown-ass man—don’t tell me you’ve decided you want to stay here and be babied by Mama Tusker all your life!”

  Rafe looked away.

  “I still want to leave but I do not see a way to do so. And as I said, getting away from here would only mean trading one danger for another.”

  “You sound like Yancy and Yarrow and Dood,” Whitney accused him. “Deciding it’s better to stay here and live in bondage because it’s safer.”

  “Well, it is!” Rafe roared, surprising her with his sudden anger. “It is safer here, Whitney! Though it would kill me to have you taken from me—that I could not bear. If you would just agree to resume our mock mating when that damn Tusker comes to check in on us—”

  “No.” Whitney put up a hand to stop him. “I’m not agreeing to anything right now,” she told him. “I just…I need to think. Let me think.”

  He threw up his hands. “Do what you like but don’t think too long. If she tries to take you again, I do not know if I can stop her, though I will give the last drop of blood in my veins to try.”

  Whitney understood what he was saying. If they didn’t put on an act for Mama Tusker and she decided to try and take Whitney away and put her in another cage, Rafe would fight—quite possibly until he died—to keep her. And given that the monstrous alien was hundreds of times bigger and stronger than they were, his death was more than a possibility—it was a foregone conclusion.

  He’s saying he’ll die to keep me, she thought shakily. Even though he doesn’t want to care for me. I don’t understand this—any of it.

  “It’s too hard to explain.” Rafe looked suddenly tired—weary beyond words.

  He turned without saying another thing and went to the other side of the cage, leaving Whitney staring after him, wondering what in the hell she was going to do.

  Thirty-Two

  She woke up the next morning and barely made it to the bathroom corner before she was horribly, miserably sick. Bright orange pieces of the bland, woody alien carrot, which had been supper the night before, pooled in a steaming mess at her feet before she covered them over with grass.

  Wiping her mouth shakily, Whitney went to the water bottle and took a drink and washed her face. She felt strange inside—a feeling which persisted even though her stomach was now perfectly empty. Was she getting some kind of a flu? That was all she needed right now.

  She put her hands to her temples and rubbed, feeling a pounding headache coming on as she reviewed her conversation with Rafe from the day before. So, the star charts revealed that they were irrevocably lost, they were stuck in a cage and were about to be separated, and there was no way home. Also Rafe loved her and hated the fact that he cared for her at the same time, which was, in itself, almost more confusing than anything else. What a horrible, horrible mess.

  What am I going to do? What am I going to do?

  The thought had been whirling around her head, pecking at her like a bad-tempered bird for days. Now it came home to roost, driving its beak mercilessly into her skull, no matter how hard she rubbed her temples.

  Trying to push it away, Whitney wandered to the other side of the cage and sat by the bars. She was glad it was too early for Mama Tusker to bring them breakfast—she wasn’t up to another scene like the one they’d had yesterday.

  Maybe Rafe is right, she thought, feeling sick. Maybe we should just pretend to mate and stay here the rest of our days, living the lives of pampered pets. Maybe all the dangers waiting out there in the uncharted universe are so much worse that this is the best we can hope for.

  “Hello, Whitney.”

  The soft voice made her look up and she saw Yancy standing on the other side of the bars, speaking to her.

  “Oh, hello,” she said dully. “How are you, Yancy?”

  “Better now,” the other girl said quietly. “Much better than I was, anyway.”

  “You are?” Whitney made an effort to perk up and forced a smile for the other girl’s sake. After all, Yancy was the closest thing she had to a girlfriend in this horrible place and it was important to support your friends. “I noticed you’d been kind of quiet lately,” she said.

  “I was…worried.” Yancy sighed. “But I’m better now—now that our future is secure.” She stepped away from the bars so that Whitney could see her more fully. At first she didn’t understand what she was seeing, but then the gentle but obvious curve of Yancy’s abdomen began to make sense.

  “You…you’re pregnant?” she asked blankly, looking from the other girl’s gravid belly to her strangely peaceful face.

  Yancy nodded. “I am. And I know how it must seem to you,” she added quickly. “But it was the only way Yarrow and I could stay together—the only way Mama Tusker wouldn’t sell us.”

  “But…but you…but he’s your brother,” Whitney couldn’t help exclaiming. “I mean, I understood the first time—the tweedle weed and the way it makes you feel but—”

  “It was the only way.” Yancy cupped her belly defensively. “We were desperate to stay together. And anyway, I think I’m only carrying two this time—two cubs, I mean. Maybe…” She bit her lip. “Maybe it will be easier to let them go since there are fewer of them. I’m going to try not to get too attached this time.”

  Whitney didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t imagine giving up her own babies to be sold. But then again, she couldn’t imagine getting those babies the way Yancy had. It was too awful to contemplate.

  If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, she heard her Grannie Washington telling her when she was younger. It was old advice, but still good, even on an alien planet, Whitney found. So she simply nodded and said nothing.

  “I noticed that you’ve been quiet yourself lately,” Yancy said, stepping close to the bars to hide her belly again. “And I noticed…” She cleared her throat. “Noticed that you and Rafe haven’t been talking much. Forgive me for asking but…did something happen at the Tweedle Beautiful show?”

  “You could say that,” Whitney said blandly. “We’ve had kind of a fight and we can’t seem to get over it.” Not that the big Kindred was even trying t