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  No, she told herself sternly. No, don’t even think it. Remember he doesn’t like you. And remember he can’t know what’s going on. Keep it hidden!

  Trying to put on her best angry face, she glared at the big Kindred.

  “How dare you come barging in here? I’m trying to take a bath!”

  “No, you’re trying to hide something from me. And I want to know what it is.” He came forward and climbed the steps of the tub, his boot heels ringing against the richly tiled floor. “What is it, Harper? Tell me.”

  “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She shrank away from him although her body was calling her towards him, telling her to raise up from the waters and beg him to palm her full, naked breasts in those big hands of his. But she refused to give in to temptation. “I’m just fine,” she said again in a voice that trembled only a little.

  “Harper, please…” He blew out a breath and raked a hand through his wild black hair. His opalescent eyes were suddenly softer…and worried. He came around to where she was and sat on the edge of the tub, looking down at her. “Please,” he repeated. “I need to take care of you and I can tell something’s wrong with you. Please just tell me what it is.”

  “I…I can’t,” Harper said in a small voice. “I mean, I don’t want to. It’s… embarrassing.”

  “You don’t have to feel embarrassed with me,” he murmured and his voice was softer than she’d ever heard it, except in the strange flashes she’d had of him back aboard his ship. “I’m here to protect you—to help you.”

  Harper lifted her chin defiantly and everything she’d been thinking recently came right out of her mouth.

  “Only because you need me in order to go back in time and save your people. You don’t give a damn about me otherwise—you don’t even like me.”

  His eyes widened. “Is that what you think?”

  “What else am I supposed to think?” Harper demanded. “You can barely stand to touch me—you keep me at an arm’s length as much as you can. You hardly talk to me. You…You…”

  Suddenly she felt guilty as she remembered everything he’d done for her. But the point was, why had he done it? Was it all just a means to an end?

  “I mean, I appreciate that you took the whipping for me from the Controller,” she went on quickly. “And you came to rescue me from that awful nursing tent too. But you also told me not to touch you and you seem so cold and distant all the time. I just don’t know what to think.”

  “Think anything but that I don’t care for you. Harper, I’m devoted to you.” Shad’s deep voice was hoarse, his eyes blazing. He sank down so he was kneeling on the bottom step, putting his face on level with hers. “My whole life is devoted to you.”

  “I know,” she said, somewhat taken aback. “Because of your mission to rescue me and change me so the Hive doesn’t want me anymore—or at least so they can’t use me—which will save your people.”

  “No, you don’t understand.” Shad shook his head. “Gods, how can I explain…” He blew out a breath and looked down at his hands, clearly frustrated. “Harper,” he said. “It’s not just the mission. It’s you. The way I feel for you, so deeply…”

  “You do?” Harper could scarcely believe it but her heart was pounding in her chest. “I mean, I never would have thought from the way you’ve been acting…”

  “It’s true—I’ve been trying to keep you at arm’s length,” he admitted in a low voice. “But that’s because I’ve lost you so many times.” He looked up at her and his chiseled features were haggard. “Harper, do you know how many times I’ve failed you? How many times I’ve watched you die in my arms? And every time it’s like getting my heart ripped out.”

  “I…” Her mouth seemed suddenly too dry to speak. “I never thought about that.”

  “I care for you, Harper,” he admitted heavily. “I care too much. It hurts too much. That’s why I’ve been trying to keep my distance during this time around.”

  “But we’re going to make it this time,” Harper said, trying to convince both him and herself. “We have to since this is our last chance. So you shouldn’t be afraid to, uh, get close.”

  He shook his head. “I feel like it’s better to keep my distance—less distracting when I’m trying to keep you alive.”

  “Shad…” she started to say and then her fingers brushed his cheek and she got another one of those strange flashes.

  She saw the two of them in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. They were naked and close, so close. Shad was cradling her body with his own as though he couldn’t bear to let her go and looking into her eyes.

  “Harper,” he murmured. “Kallana…”

  Then the momentary flash was over and Harper drew her hand back, dazed.

  “Kallana,” she whispered.

  “What?” Shad frowned. “Where did you hear that?”

  “Just now.” She shook her head. “I…I know it sound strange but I keep getting these…flashes—I don’t know what else to call them. They seem almost like scenes from a different life.”

  “What do you mean? What have you seen?” he asked, his voice low and intense.

  “Well, the first one was of the lifeguard guy—the one that was a mind-slave for the Hive. When I touched him I got this flash of a giant insect face.” Harper shivered. “It was awful.”

  “And the others?” he asked.

  “The others? Well…” Harper bit her lip, feeling embarrassed. “The others are of you. Of you…being nice to me. Being sweet. Holding me…comforting me…touching me…” She broke off, feeling her cheeks get hot. She really shouldn’t say anymore.

  “You’re experiencing Chromatic Bursts—seeing things that happened in other paths we took.” He sighed. “I was told this might happen near the end of the looper’s power.”

  “They’re the reason I came with you in the first place—without fighting you, I mean,” Harper told him. “When you told me to undress back at the beach I had one of those flashes—uh, Chromatic Bursts—and it convinced me you weren’t a bad guy after all.”

  “So that’s where you heard that word—Kallana?” Shad asked her.

  She nodded. “Just now. I saw us…” Her cheeks got even hotter but she made herself go on. “I saw us in, uh, in bed together. We were…were holding each other and you called me that.” She looked at him. “What does it mean?”

  “It’s a word in the native Kindred language.” His voice was hoarse and rough. “It means…my heart. My love.”

  “Shad…” Harper cleared her throat. “Did we…in all those other, uh, time paths we took, did we ever, you know, make love?”

  She’d been certain he was going to say yes—to confirm her suspicion that they’d had incredible sex and a love so deep it defied time itself. But he only shook his head.

  “No,” he said softly. “No, I never let myself go that far. As a Shadow Twin I’m probably not able to bond a female to me like a normal Kindred could. But I couldn’t take the chance.”

  Harper frowned. “What do you mean—bond a female to you?”

  “When a Kindred—a normal Kindred—makes love to a female and fills her with his seed, the two of them form a mental and emotional bond that only death can break,” Shad explained. “The problem is, once the bond is formed, the death of his mate may drag him into the grave along with her. Some males survive the death of their mate…but many do not.” He looked at Harper directly. “I couldn’t take that chance with you. I knew if you died I would want to die too. And I can’t die—not until I finish this damn loop and see you safely to the end of it.”

  Harper nodded. “I understand. So we never made love.”

  “We did everything else, though” Shad murmured. “I know your sweet, soft body as I know my own, Harper.” Reaching out, he stroked his knuckles gently over her flushed cheek, making her tingle all over. “Which is why you don’t need to be embarrassed to tell me what’s going on with you now.”

  They had come full circle. Harper bi