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“The patient comes first,” I said firmly. “Although I’ve never, uh, quite been in a situation like this with a patient.”
“As I have never been with my mistress,” he admitted. “Is it helping you? You feel the burning ease? Your body seems much warmer than it was.”
“It’s helping,” I said, wiggling a little. “Only…”
“What is it? Name what you need and you shall have it, my Lady,” he murmured.
Damn—I was really kind of getting to like the way he talked. Even if it was kind of Renaissance-y.
“I feel like…” I took a deep breath. “I think it would help to have some pressure—deep pressure. Could you…I know this sounds weird, but could you, uh, lie on top of me for a minute? Kind of just…cover me completely with your…with your body?”
Okay, now I was finally getting kind of embarrassed. But this was what my body craved for some reason. And I didn’t want to take a chance on the burning and breathlessness returning if I didn’t give it what it wanted.
“As my Lady wishes,” Kristoff murmured.
We had been lying on our sides, facing each other. With one swift move, he rolled me under him, covering my body completely with his own.
I should have felt smothered. He was so much taller than me that his chest was in my face. And his weight was considerable—at least three hundred pounds, I estimated, all of it pure muscle—pressing me down into the bed.
Strangely enough, despite his weight pressing me down, or maybe because of it, I was finally able to draw a deep breath and the last of the burning finally left my body.
“Ahhh.” I gave a little moan of pure satisfaction.
“My Lady?” Kristoff sounded a little worried. “Am I crushing you? I feel your pleasure in this new position but you’re so small…so delicate.”
I started laughing again—I couldn’t help it.
“Why are you amused?” Kristoff demanded. He changed our positions, moving down so that we were face to face though he was still lying on top of me.
“Because.” I giggled. “I am not delicate. In fact, I’m what you could call ‘big boned’ if you were being nice, that is.”
“Your bones are like those of a bird,” he protested. “So light I’m afraid I’ll crush you.”
“Believe me, I’m plenty solid enough—you’re not going to crush me,” I assured him.
“I just want to ease your pain—not add to it,” he murmured.
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “I’m, uh, not feeling any pain right now. Not a bit. And…I like you on top of me. I don’t know why though. I just seem to…crave it. Is that, uh, part of the Royal Cycle you were talking about earlier?”
“To tell the truth, I don’t know,” he admitted. “My old mistress—the Goddess-Empress before you—was well past her needing years when I entered her service. I have never been with an Empress who was young enough to choose a Consort before, so I don’t know much about the process.”
“Choose a Consort?” I asked, frowning. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“The Empress has…needs.” He sounded like he was trying to be delicate. “Someone must slake them and so a group of Royal candidates are chosen by the Council of Wisdom for the Empress to pick from.”
“So once I get to Femme One I’m going to have to choose some guy to, uh, service me?” I asked, unable to keep the incredulity out of my voice.
“Essentially.” Kristoff’s deep voice sounded flat in the darkness. “A male of Royal blood who will sit by your side as you rule and be sire to your children.”
“God…” I sighed. “This just gets weirder and weirder. What if I don’t want to, uh, choose a Consort?”
“You’ll have to,” he assured me. “The Empress must have someone to help assuage her hunger.”
“Sexual hunger, you mean?” I asked flatly.
“Yes.” He shifted restlessly and I was aware of his long, hard shaft pressing against my thigh. It stirred something inside me—something I’d never felt before. But I pushed the feeling away.
“What if I don’t have any sexual hunger?” I asked bluntly. “I mean, I never have before.”
Wow—I couldn’t believe I’d just blurted that out. But it was true—it was like that part of my body was dormant.
“I mean, not that I’ve never had sex before,” I hastened to explain. “Just that, well, it never actually, uh, did anything for me.” Which was why I had given it up in college and hadn’t bothered since.
“I have heard that a true La-ti-zal may not have sexual feelings until she finds the male who is meant to be her fated-mate.” Kristoff sounded thoughtful. “So the fact that you have not had, ah, desires before does not surprise me, my Lady. But take my word for it, when you reach the needing phase of the Royal Cycle, you will have to have a male to help you quench your body’s sexual thirst.”
“I guess we’ll see,” I said neutrally. Secretly, though, I was thinking that if I didn’t feel anything sexually now, in the position I was in, I would probably never feel anything.
I don’t mean being naked and pinned to the bed under Kristoff’s big, muscular form wasn’t nice—it was all kinds of yummy. He smelled good and he felt incredible and he made me feel warm and safe and protected in a way I never had in my life. Also, I felt a kind of connection with him—something I had never felt with any male before. It was a deep-seated rightness I could neither explain nor deny, which was probably why I was so comfortable telling him things I hadn’t told anyone else.
But still, though it felt good on all kinds of levels to be pressed naked against him, it didn’t feel sexual—not to me. I could still feel how hard Kristoff was against my thigh and I knew he couldn’t say the same. It didn’t bother me. Though I felt his arousal, I had absolute faith in him that he wouldn’t take advantage of me in any way.
I could probably spread my legs and let his naked shaft rub against my open pussy and he still wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do, I thought. The mental image gave me a strange tingle which made me slightly uneasy. Why would I imagine such a sexual act? I had never been one to fantasize about sex—it simply did nothing for me. In fact, I had made up my mind years ago that I was probably asexual.
So why the tingle?
No reason, I told myself uneasily. It was just a random thought. Don’t dwell on it and it will go away.
“My lady?” Kristoff’s deep voice murmured in the darkness. “Are you well? You’ve been silent these many moments.”
“Just thinking,” I said.
“Would you care to share your thoughts? She who was Empress before you often confided in me.”
I thought of telling him my idea about letting him rub himself between my legs and felt my face getting hot with a blush.
“Nothing important,” I mumbled. “I was just thinking I feel like I’ve had enough deep pressure now.” Which was true. My body felt like it had equalized and I felt like I ought to put a little distance between us. Somehow being so close, face-to-face and naked in the dark together felt dangerous in a way it hadn’t before.
“Do you wish me to leave you?” he asked, rolling off me.
“No.” I stopped him when he would have gone. “What if my symptoms come back? I couldn’t stand that—they were awful.”
“I understand,” he murmured. “Do you want me to stay in the sleeping platform beside you and not touch you unless you feel them return?”
“Why would I want that?” I asked. Despite my feeling that it was somehow dangerous to be so intimately pressed against him, I still didn’t want him to stop touching me completely.
“Well…” He cleared his throat. “Technically what we are doing is not at all proper. The Council of Wisdom on Femme One would be scandalized.”
“I don’t care about propriety,” I said. “Or following some set of rules made up by people I didn’t even know existed a few days ago.”
“They will be your people, my Lady,” he murmured, a faint reproach in hi