One Night at the Call Center Read online

  “There are four things a person needs for success. I will tell you the two most obvious things first. One, a medium amount of intelligence, and two, a bit of imagination. Agreed?”

  “Agreed,” everyone said.

  “And all of you have those qualities,” God said.

  “What are the third and fourth qualities?” Vroom said.

  “The third is what Shyam has lost,” God said.

  “What's that?” I said.

  “Self-confidence. The third thing you need for success is self-confidence. But Shyam has lost it. He is 100 percent convinced he is good for nothing.”

  I hung my head.

  “You know how you became convinced?” God said.

  “How?” I said.

  “Because of Bakshi. A bad boss is like a disease of the soul. If you have one for long enough, you will become convinced something is wrong with you. Even when you know Bakshi is the real loser, you start doubting yourself, and that is when your confidence evaporates.”

  God's words shook my insides like the vibrating Qualis had a few minutes earlier.

  “God, I would like to get my confidence back,” I said.

  “Good. Don't be scared and you will get it back, and then there'll be no stopping you.”

  I felt the blood rush to my ears. My heart was beating hard and all I wanted was to be back at the call center. Anger surged in me when I pictured Bakshi. I wanted to get even with the man who had killed a part of me, who had put everyone's job on the line, who had ruined the call center.

  “What's the fourth ingredient for success?” Vroom said.

  “The fourth ingredient is the most painful. It is something all of you still need to learn. Because it is often the most important thing,” God said.

  “What?” I said.

  “Failure,” God said.

  “But I thought you were talking about success,” Vroom said.

  “Yes, but to be really successful, you must first face failure. You have to experience it, feel it, taste it, suffer it. Only then can you shine,” God said.

  “Why?” Priyanka said. She was obviously focused on my character analysis, too. I tell you, Ganesh may have the Lexus, but she will never find a more interesting psycho case than me.

  “Once you've tasted failure, you will have no more fear. You'll be able to take risks more easily, you will no longer want to snuggle in your comfort zone, you will be ready to fly. And success is about flying, not snuggling,” God said.

  “Good point,” Priyanka said.

  “So, here is a secret. Never be afraid of failure. If it has already come your way, it really means I would like to give you a proper chance later,” God said.

  “Cool,” Priyanka said.

  “Thank you,” God said.

  “If only you had given as much to India as America,” Vroom said.

  “Why, don't you like India?” God said.

  “Of course. Just because India is poor doesn't mean you stop loving it. It belongs to me. But even so, America has so much more,” Vroom said.

  “Well, don't be so high on America. Americans may have many things, but they are not the happiest people on earth by any stretch. Any country obsessed with war can't be happy,” God said.

  “And what exactly lies behind all this war sentiment?” God said.

  “Fear. It's obvious, they are the most easily scared and paranoid people on earth,” I said.

  “We'll scare them into calling us. Yes, that's how to retrieve our call volume,” Vroom said, his voice excited.

  “Now you're thinking. In fact, you can figure out a way to get even with Bakshi too. Not completely fair and square, but I think you deserve to be able to bend a few of the rules,” God said, and I thought I heard a chuckle.

  We all smiled.

  “Really, do you think we could teach Bakshi a lesson?” I said.

  “Sure, remember Bakshi is not your boss; your ultimate boss is me. And I am with you. So what are you afraid of?” God said.

  “Excuse me, but you are not always there with us, otherwise how did we end up here?” Radhika said.

  God sighed. “I think you need to understand how my system works. You see, I have a contract with all human beings. You do your best, and every now and then I will come and give you a supporting push. But it has to start with you, otherwise how can I distinguish who most needs my help?”

  “Good point,” Vroom said.

  “So if I listen to my inner call and promise to do my best, will you be there for me?” I said.

  “Absolutely. But I have to go now. Someone else is trying to reach me,” God said.

  “Wait! Help us get out of this pit first,” Esha said.

  “Oh yes, of course,” God said. “OK, Vroom, you're balancing on a few rods now. There are two tricks to get out of such a situation.”

  “What are they?”

  “One, remember the reverse gear. And two, make friends with the rods—do not fight them. Use the rods as rail tracks and they will guide you out. Shake things around and you will fall right through.”

  Vroom stuck his neck out of the window. “But these steel construction rods are as thin as my fingers. How can we bunch them up?”

  “Tie them,” God said.

  “How?” Vroom said.

  “Do I need to tell you everything?” God said.

  “Dupatta. Use my dupatta,” Priyanka said.

  “Here, I have this half-knitted scarf in my handbag,” Radhika said.

  “I think you can take it from here. Bye now. Remember, I am inside you when you need me,” God said.

  “Huh?” Vroom said and looked at the phone.

  “Bye, God,” the girls said one after the other.

  “Bye, everyone,” God said and disconnected the call. I waved the phone good-bye. Silence fell.

  “What… was … that?” Priyanka said.

  “I don't know. Can I have the dupattas, please?” Vroom said. “Military Uncle, can you open the rear door and tie up the rods under the wheel? Tear up the dupatta if you want to.”

  Priyanka flinched for a second at the last line, but that was the last we saw of her dupatta and Radhika's half-knitted scarf. Vroom and Military Uncle tied up the rods right under the wheel for the Qualis to do its ten-foot journey to firm ground. Several times they had to bend over and look deep into the pit. I was glad I wasn't the one doing it—I would have died just from the view.

  “OK, people.” Vroom sat back on the seat, wiping his hands. “Hold tight.”

  Vroom started the ignition and the Qualis vibrated as the rods below us started quivering again.

  “Vroom … I am … si… ipping,” Esha said, trying to grip the handle of the glove box.

  In a nanosecond, Vroom put the Qualis in reverse and drove backward. We all ducked down, partially so Vroom could see, but mostly in fear.

  The Qualis shook as if it was motoring down a hill. But we didn't fall. My upper and lower jaws chattered so hard I thought a couple of teeth would break loose.

  In six seconds, it was all over and we were out of the pit and on the slushy mud road again.

  “It's over. I think I'm alive,” Vroom said with a grin of relief. He turned around, “Are you still there?”

  Chapter 31

  4:40 a.m.

  WE ALL RELEASED OUR BREATHS TOGETHER. The girls hugged, and Vroom reached out and backslapped me so hard I thought I'd broken my back.

  He did a U-turn and drove back slowly in first gear until we reached the highway.

  “We made it,” Esha said and wiped away her tears. Priyanka folded her hands and prayed a few times.

  “I thought we were going to die,” Radhika said.

  “What was that call?” Esha said.

  “Something very strange—can we make a pact not to talk about it?” I said. Everyone nodded, as if I had said exactly what was on all their minds. It was true. The call felt so personal I didn't want to discuss it any more.

  “Whatever it was, we're OK now. And we'