I love you, son.

I miss you more than words.

If ANYONE on this planet could avoid death somehow, I know it’s you. So come back. Come back to your family. I may not be here when you get back, but I’ll be watching you turn the world bright again.

If I’m wrong. If you are there on the other side when I get there, just know that I’ll be angrier than you’ve ever seen me in your life so consider this your only warning to get a head start.

I love you, Samuel.

My son.

Always & Forever

In this life & the next,

Mama Grace

I didn’t say a word when I was done reading, I just wrapped Thia in a hug. She was right. Now in a way Grace was with me. I felt more complete now. More at ease with her not being there.

“You’re welcome,” she said into my chest. Bear was already stomping over to us. I released her and tucked the note into my pocket.

“You know, I never really got to thank you either. For taking Chop out. I feel like a bitch that I didn’t get a chance to do it myself or see it go down but I’m glad the fucker’s dead, so thank you,” I said.

“Eh, it was no biggie,” Thia replied. “Had to protect this brute over here.”

Bear reached us and draped an arm over Thia’s shoulders.

“You can’t seriously be jealous of a hug,” I said, rolling my eyes at Bear. “I mean, I’m not jealous when you talk to Dre and you’ve had your dick in her.”

Bear grimaced.

Oops.

Thia actually laughed. “I know, Preppy. Bear told me that he and her and you...I mean, it’s okay, I know. I’ve told Dre I know too, so there’s nothing weird between us. I really like her by the way.”

“You’re one cool chick, Ti,” I said. I patted my jacket where Grace’s note was tucked safely inside. “And besides, it’s not like the thing with Bear was a big deal anyway, it was only anal.”

“I have to go help Ray,” Thia said, still laughing and shaking her head. “I’ll leave you two alone to murder one another. After all, we’re in the perfect place for it.” She dashed off to meet Ray where she was waiting for Dre to arrive.

“You’re right, Prep. It was only anal,” Bear said and I wondered where he was going with this teasing tone in his voice. “Because when I look back and I picture it all in my mind, I mean I didn’t remember much at first, but now I can see every little...”

“Bear,” I cut him off. “If you so much as think of that night in your pretty little head, I’ll murder you in your sleep,” I warned.

Bear smiled and pulled me in for a hug, he slapped my back. “I would expect nothing less, Prep.”

“She’s here!” Ray shouted.

“But seriously,” Bear started as we went back and joined King. “Who is your best man? Kevin?”

Just then Bo came running through the cemetery wearing a matching light grey suit and light blue bow tie. He even had on a pair of brown suspenders and he was sporting a fresh hair cut. When he spotted me he changed direction, running straight to me until he leapt up and I caught him.

I turned back to my friends with my son in my arms. “He is.”

****

When the music started and the sound of “LIFER” by Florida Georgia Line started to play I stood on one side of the empty grave marked with my headstone and waited for Dre to appear. I knew she was about to walk around the wall, but nothing could have prepared me for the moment I saw her.

NOTHING.

She wasn’t just beautiful or stunning. She was walking art.

I coughed because suddenly I couldn’t fucking breathe.

Dre’s lips were usually painted bright red but as she walked down the aisle of gravestones I noticed they were a darker blood red and matched the rose in her hair, which was pinned low and loose to the side of her head at the nape of her neck.

Her ivory dress was strapless and heart shaped over the perfect swell of her tits. Short in the front, just above her knees, flaring out to a long gown in the back that dragged along the ground as she walked. There was lace at the top to give the illusion of sleeves but it was so light and delicate it looked as if it were floating on top of her creamy skin. She carried a bouquet of wildflowers and I chuckled when I saw the stems were tied together with one of my red bowties.

She smiled when our eyes locked and suddenly she wasn’t wearing her wedding dress. She was naked, skinny, and bruised like she was on top of the tower the day we met. Her stringy hair blowing around her face. Then it was her wearing Mirna’s pin-up style clothes for the first time. Then it was her on the night I proposed, tight black skirt and blue corset top. By the time she stood before me and linked her hands with mine she was wearing her gown again and I was stuck somewhere between so much love it hurts and so aroused it hurts.

“Fuckin’ eh, Doc,” I groaned, apparently out loud because the crowd around us laughed.

The reverend starting saying some words but I didn’t hear a single fucking one because I was firmly focused on Dre. The only thing I heard was my inner caveman chant. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Mine.

Dre

Preppy wore a light grey suit with a light blue and yellow bow tie. It was perfectly fitted to his muscles and I couldn’t tear my eyes from him as I walked down the aisle. My stomach did flip-flops. I don’t remember walking fast or slow as my father guided me toward my husband. I just remember trying to get to him as fast as possible as he appraised me. A stunned yet appreciative look in his eyes that made me tingle all over.

As I made my way to him I thought I was seeing things. His image flashed from the scary version of him I met on the tower that first day, to the emaciated tortured soul with long hair and fresh scars. When I reached him he turned back into my husband in the tux, ready to make promises of forever. “Hey, Doc, what took you so long?”

“Don’t you mean what took US so long?” I asked.

When it came time to say our vows, Preppy surprised me by volunteering to go first.

“I was a boy when we met, someone who avoided and ran from everything in his life he didn’t want to deal with. In some ways I’m never going to grow up, but you made me want to be more. For you. For Bo. Now I’m a man who knows it’s time to stop running away and start running toward and I’m choosing to run to you, Doc. Forever.”

There were several sniffles in the crowd but I couldn’t look to see who was getting emotional because I couldn’t look away from Preppy. He rubbed his thumb over my hand and continued.