She had been living with Tony for about three months when he came home one day with a big-time dealer from Colombia. The three of them had dinner together but Gloria could not remember much about it. Tony had really given her some prime stuff and she was just flying. She did notice that the big-time dealer from Colombia was staring at her all the time. But that was nothing new. Men were always staring at her. And she was safe. Tony was there with her. And he loved her very much.

It was getting late and Gloria was feeling especially weary. “Tony?”

“Yes, Gloria?”

“I’m going to go to sleep now. I’m really tired.”

“Okay. Say good night to our guest.”

She did. She held on to the railing as she steered her way up to the bedroom. She closed the door, took off her top and then slid off her pants.

“Guapa! Beautiful!”

She spun, trying to cover herself with her hands. The Colombian opened the door and stepped in. “What are you doing up here?”

Tony stepped in from behind the Colombian. “It’s okay, baby.”

“What . . . what’s going on?”

“Mr. Enrique is a very important supplier, Gloria. He’s asked for a little favor.”

“But, Tony—”

“It’s all right, baby. I’ll be right here. It’ll be fun.”

The wide-eyed Colombian quickly stripped down.

“Tony, I don’t want to.”

Tony began to take off his clothes, too. “For me, Gloria. Please.”

Trembling, she turned toward the Colombian. He stood in front of her completely naked. He reached out a hand and grabbed her breast roughly. Pain shot through her. He lowered his mouth toward her nipple.

“Please don’t.”

Gloria was forced back, tears pouring down her cheeks. Tony held her down as the Colombian did as he pleased.

Stan held her. “It’s over now, Gloria. It’s over.”

“No, it’s not. I have to finish the story before I run out of nerve.”

The next morning, Gloria woke up feeling sore and dirty. She snorted a little cocaine and then made her way to the shower. She stayed under the powerful spray until the hot water ran out. She still did not feel clean.

Gloria did not cry that morning. For the first time, she saw clearly through the drugs. Nothing was different. Tony was not different. He was like Brad and Jeff and Stuart and Mike and J.J. and Kenny and all the others. He knew she was not worth loving, not worth caring for. She was just an object to abuse as he saw fit. And at long last, Gloria knew what she had to do. She finally realized how she could stop it. It was simple really.

She would kill herself.

She wondered how she should go about doing it. First she would call her sister, Laura. She had not spoken to her for almost eight months but Gloria and Laura really loved each other. Her parents, well, they had given up on her a long time ago. But not Laura. It would be really nice to hear her voice one more time.

She picked up the phone and called. Laura was thrilled to hear from her. Laura thought it would be a great idea if they could get together soon. Gloria agreed. Maybe next week would be a good time.

“Is everything all right, Gloria?” Laura asked. “Why don’t you come home and stay with me for a while?”

Gloria declined the invitation, thanked her, and hung up. Then she turned her attention to how she should kill herself. The answer came to her quickly. She would take a drug overdose. A friend of hers in San Francisco had done that about six months ago. Gloria resolved herself to her decision. Tomorrow night she would OD on heroin.

That night, Tony came home full of apologies and words of love. “I was so stoned, baby, I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m so sorry, Gloria. Please forgive me.”

“Do you really mean it, Tony?”

“Sure, honey. I never knew it would hurt you. I love you, baby. I would never do something to hurt you. You know that.”

And Gloria thought that maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he did love her after all. Maybe he didn’t understand how she felt about what had happened. If he had, he would never have made her do it.

Tony continued to talk to her, to soothe her. He had received a new shipment, too. Prime stuff. And she needed a fix. Her whole body was craving a little prick from Tony’s needle. He shot her up with a very large amount of drugs.

Her mind became fuzzy, even more fuzzy than usual. She drifted back, her world spinning in a murky haze.

“How do you feel, honey?”

“I’m flying,” she replied with a smile. “I’m flying.”

“Good, baby. That’s real good.”

She felt his hand on her blouse. He was unbuttoning her top. He slipped it off and then he pulled down her shorts and panties. She began to giggle. “You want to do it now?”

“Yeah, baby. I got something special planned.”

Special. That sounded nice. She closed her eyes as the drugs sped through her veins. It felt nice to be naked with Tony.

She felt him hold down her arms and legs. No reason to. She was not about to struggle, except that sometimes he liked that. The lights were suddenly very bright in her eyes. Tony must have pulled up the shade. But wait. How could he have pulled up the shades when he was holding her down?

Then she heard people speaking Spanish.

She opened her eyes but the harsh glare made her close them again. She moved to shade them with her hand, and that was when she realized that her hands and legs were tied to the bed.

“Tony?”

More whispered words. Some in Spanish. Some in English. And then laughter. She felt so tired, she just wanted to go to sleep. She forced her eyes open and focused.

The Colombian smiled down at her. He was with six other men. They were all naked.

Now she struggled, but the drugs and the knots were too strong. “Tony?”

“I’m here, baby,” he laughed. “Just enjoy.”

The men approached her, each stroking a different part of her body with their hands and tongues. She looked up and saw Tony holding a video camera. The rest was a blur of words and positions. Her body was turned over, twisted every which way, abused.

“Get her closer to the camera.” “Put it in her mouth.” “This is going to be the best film yet.” “Bend her the other way.”

Gloria felt saliva and warm breath covering her face, her neck, her breasts, her thighs. Rough hands clawed at her.

Then a female voice shouted, “STOP!”

Suddenly the men were being pulled off her. Gloria felt someone untying her arms. She managed to open her eyes and look up. But what she was seeing had to be a hallucination from the drug.