Twenty-Four

Blast from the Past

When I woke up Devin wasn’t in my bed. I reached out for him and felt nothing but his pillow. Then I heard the shower water running and smiled to myself as I rolled onto my back and snuggled deeper into my bed.

I was feeling much better, it wouldn’t be long until I could get back to work and things could return to normal. I climbed out of bed slowly, threw on some clothes, and went out to the kitchen. I put together a little bit of breakfast and then sat down and waited for Devin to finish his shower.

He looked so sexy when he came into the kitchen.  His hair was slicked back and wet, and he smelled like fresh soap and shampoo.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed, babe.” He leaned in and gave me a sweet little pop kiss. “I was gonna cook you breakfast after I took a shower. I was hoping to keep you stuck in that bed for the next few days,” he said with a wink.

“I’m fine. I’ll take a shower. After that you can keep me in bed for as long as you’d like,” I smirked at him from across the small kitchen table.

“Do I really have to listen to all this mush?” Shannon said as she came into the kitchen.

Her red hair was piled on top of her head. She rubbed her eyes and yawned loudly.

I spent the entire day in bed. Devin stayed with me and we watched old movies and snuggled. Later that night he went and got some take-out for dinner. We ate in bed and shared our food. I fell asleep in his arms two hours later.

It was so nice just to be with him. While the sex was spectacular, it wasn’t needed. We loved being together, just laughing and talking.

The next morning I woke up before Devin, and like a psycho girlfriend I laid there and watched him sleep. It was still so surreal that I was in love with such a gorgeous man and he loved me in return.

I can remember just a few months ago sitting at Mirabelle’s with mom and wishing for this kind of relationship, and here I was, lying next to the man of my dreams.

I ran my fingers over the dips and curves of his muscled chest. I traced the outline of every tattoo my eyes could see. There were two matching stars on either side of his pelvis that peeked out of the drawstring waist on his sleep pants. The stars were designed to look as if they were crumbling and were perfectly nestled in the ripple of his lower abdominal muscles.

I left the star tats and made my way through the dark hair that surrounded his adorable navel. I watched as my fingers went up and down when I worked them across his abs muscles. The words “All wounds become wisdom” were inked diagonally down the side of his ribs in cursive.

I placed a soft kiss across the Japanese symbol on the right side of his chest and paid extra attention to the jagged knife that was tatted over his heart. It was magnificently detailed to look as if he’d been stabbed in the heart. Little drips of blood escaped the sides of the blade in red ink. It was the only color on his body and it stuck out.

I covered it with my hand. I didn’t want to think of Devin being stabbed in the heart. I didn’t want him to ever hurt. Only a man who was hurt deeply could be so shut off. Strangely, I understood his reasons even though I didn’t know them and I felt honored that he had allowed me a tiny glimpse into his world.

I laid my head against his shoulder and took in the detail of the tattoo that covered the entire top of his arm. At a glance it looked like tangled, jagged vines, but looking at it closer, I could see there were words twisted into the vines. Fear…pain…sorrow…regret….hate. Each knotted word stabbed at my heart.

I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek.

“Stay,” he whispered in his sleep. “Please, Lilly. Stay.”

His peaceful sleep had turned into a nightmare. I could see the sweat beginning to collect on his forehead. His entire body seemed to tense up before my eyes. I snuggled closer to him and ran my fingers through his hair.

“You’re having a nightmare, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here,” I said to try and calm him.

“Mom, please don’t leave me—Lilly, no!” He jumped up in a panic, his eyes wide in fear.

I sat back and let him have a moment. His panic-stricken eyes took me in until finally he reached out and pulled me back to him.

“Are you OK?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What time is it?” He looked away and searched for a place to put his eyes so that they weren’t on me.

“It’s early still. Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yeah, it’s no big deal.” He shrugged and started to fidget.

“About your mom…and me?” I tentatively asked.